Your “But Wait! There’s More!” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

TO THE GAMES! (yet again)

Niners/Rams:

Hey, the NFC West is getting verrrry interesting these days, isn’t it? I’d like to personally thank Shanny Jr. for making vultureback Jeff Wilson Jr. a healthy scratch last week so that Breida Filter could get a score. It’s still an ugly RBBC with Coleman back healthy and Mostert in the mix taking targets/touches away from the moneybacks. Team-wise it’s working out quite well. BUT I’M NOT INTERESTED IN THAT.

Falcons/Cards:

FIRE UP THE SCOREBOARD, there’s gonna be a shit-ton of scoring in this one as the flood gates of points are opened. Kyler has been deemed a disappointment thus far but the bar was way too high to start the season. The last three games he’s averaged 63 on the ground and has found his way into the end zone twice. He’s a fine option today if’n you have him.

Titans/Broncos:

Anyone but Delanie Walker. You can run on Denver, you can (sorta) pass on Denver but you can’t feed your tight end vs. Denver. The most anyone has gained against them is a paltry 24 yards by Waller.

Cowboys/Jets:

As noted by commenter Tabula Raza, what the bluefuck is going with this being the national tilt? I guess the Texas/NY/Joisey audience is the thing but yikes, this won’t fly. The Jets slot corner has only given up 56 yards all year but the outside fellas-Trumaine Johnson, Nate Hairston and Daryl Roberts-are allowing 68.6% completion averages to qb’s. Maybe Amari and Gallup will feast? What are your thoughts? Darnold is back and despite the jury being sorta inclined to see him as an underwhelmer, the Jets have averaged 7.6 points and 139 yards in the air without him.

Go be yourself in the comment section.

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King Hippo

BLEERGHGASM

Gratliff

FLAGKAKKE

Gratliff

J
E
T
S
PHANTOM DPI

Viva La Tabula Raza

Jesus Christ, Jets. Way to shoot yourself in the dick.

litre_cola

THERE WAS NOTHING THERE!!!!!

Gratliff

MOAR FLAGS FOR THE FLAG RESPECTER

King Hippo

HAIL BLEERGH!!

hippofant

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King Hippo

Need TD and the two to Gallup, followed by OT touchdown

Spur

I thought Fireman Ed was banned

Sharkbait

I thought the Patriots broke his will to live

Gratliff

Most middling fucking conference

hippofant
King Hippo

Kyler just fucked Ted good. Moe-ron.

King Hippo

#BailedOut

Gratliff

Argh

Brick Meathook

How will the Jets fuck this up? Oh the possibilities!

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— Blair Walsh

King Hippo

Not even sure my money league side scored 50 today

Gratliff

Jets…competent?

King Hippo

What percentage of that LA (not even Carson, mind) crowd is Tomsulas faithful? 70%??

Sharkbait

How the fuck is survivor still a thing?

Viva La Tabula Raza

How the fuck was it even a thing to begin with?

#Declineandfallofamericanempire

King Hippo

Methinks Coach Vrabel won’t be cutting his dick off after all.

King Hippo

FUCK YOU PRINCETON RED

Sharkbait

Fact.

litre_cola

This guy gets it.

Spur

Zeke took a nasty hit.

Gratliff

God damn do I ever hate Jason Witten’s dopey slow run after catch bullshit

Sharkbait

MOAR GALLUP

King Hippo

holy cats, David Johnson!

Gratliff

I’m emotionally invested in Cowboys failure, but how is your gameplan with Cooper hurt not “Hand off to Zeke every down”?

King Hippo

their run D really ain’t that bad

King Hippo

Cooper out, still fuckall to Gallup

Sharkbait

All together (Hippo) now: Go. To. Gallup.

King Hippo

I have abandoned all hope.

Mr. Ayo

ONE OF US!

King Hippo

fantasy footed ball was my last scrap of non-suck

King Hippo

His final line as a starting QB:

M. Mariota
7-18, 63 YDS, 2 INT

clint greasewood

Jeff Goff 9-14 for 44yards, 1 fumble.

King Hippo

That’s our Buster! JustATurdOutThere

Sharkbait

Dak. You ham headed asshole

King Hippo

can’t believe they tried a FG

WCS

The only time Princeton Ginger does anything “daring” is when he skips the salad serving.

King Hippo

a SIX course meal? How dreadfully common.

WCS

Holy hell, Jameis is terrible at… well, everything.

King Hippo

no way, he’s a Hall of Famer at raping

Gratliff

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSsssssssssssssssssssssss

litre_cola

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Gratliff

Jets with a 12 point lead and you know it’s not enough

Spur

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

In response to the NBA: China is asshoe

King Hippo

annnnnnnddddd that’s the end of my fantasy day. Fuck off Koach Kliff

litre_cola

Isssss good

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Koach Kliff and Kyler, they don’t burn crosses just crossing routes!

WCS

I’d rather jump onto a bicycle that’s missing it’s seat for 30 minutes than watch Young Sheldon.

Redshirt

I’d rather watch the end of the Bengals-Steelers playoff games, my first date and the conversation when my mom found my Internet history for 30 minutes than watch Young Sheldon.

litre_cola

Would rather get a love tap from Vontaze

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d rather jack off a mad lion.

King Hippo

That’s Mah FETISH!!!

King Hippo

Tanny Fanny sighting!!!

Spur

Come on Dallas. Worry up and get that field goal

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I almost had a patent once but no one believed in the ShamPon

Gratliff

Okay, Sill

Spur

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Col. Duke LaCross

Lil?

King Hippo

I had no idea it was Eye-Tie Christmas already. TIME FLIES

Spur

Right on que.

WCS

It begins.

King Hippo

SUDDEN NON-GENDERED CHANGE!!

Gratliff

Wow. Fucking Jets are still rolling. I absolutely expected them to completely shit themselves coming out of the half.

Sharkbait

Red zone pick. Right on cue.

Sharkbait

Can I get a Hooperdown and an Gallupdown please?

Spur

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Sharkbait

She seems nice.

Gratliff

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