Your “That There’s Slim Pickings” Sunday Afternoon Football Open Thread

Thank goodness they staggered the two games on offer, huh? And the featured game is between two teams that the majority of football fans would like to have fired into the sun. But let’s think about that for a second. Why would we do that to the good old sun? It was your fault you got burned that day-you forgot to re-apply the sunscreen. And the sun is a job creator. It was the one that originally determined when the tides came in. It gave that task to the moon as soon as it graduated from college. Now look at how the moon is thriving! The sun is a good friend.

TO THE GAMES!

Jags/Titans:

Poor Jacksonville is gonna get bulldozed as though it were a shantytown somewhere in Africa. The head bulldozer goes by the name of Derrick Henry and he has some experience. The Jags give up the most yards per rush in the league and allowed two rb’s (Williams and Mack) to gain 100+ against them last time out. This one is gonna hurt.

Cowboys/Pats:

One has to wonder how New England is going to score, what with both Sanu and Dorsett both out and the running game being the shambles that it is. Even if wonky-kneed Cooper is ineffective Dallas still has Gallup and Zeke and DAK! out there making plays. I just get the feeling that the Pats are going to be exposed today as GrumbleLord begs everyone to not look behind the curtain.

There ya go. Make some words.

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Spur

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King Hippo
Gratliff

Travis Henry must be playing my zombie team again. He did this shit to me in like week 2

Spur

The kicker Folked up

King Hippo

DonT-gasm!

Spur

Pats and pick routes. never a flag

Gratliff

Damn. So close to breaking Dreamboat

Spur

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Gratliff

That tie suddenly feels like an albatross around the neck of the Lions. Gonna knock them down to like 5th in the draft order.

Senor Weaselo

“Albatross around the neck? Interesting.” -David Carradine

Spur

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Spur

That was some bad play calling for Dallas.

Dunstan

Alright, I am all set to make fun of other NFL teams, in complete disregard of the fact that my team lost to the Browns by 17 today.

Mistborn Impossible

What the fuck was that weird druid chant they just did in New England? Did anybody else hear that? I happened to be standing next to the rear speaker where it was coming through.

If you didn’t hear it I can’t even describe how creepy it was…

Mistborn Impossible

It’s probably connected to that weird starbridge symbol on their field. Aliens?

Dunstan

No, just part of Belichek’s deal with Satan

Spur

Cheap shot.

Spur

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Nice, uh, teeth….

Spur

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Spur

NO GOOD

Spur

Nice defensive hold Boys

Viva La Tabula Raza

You left off the “-ing”

Gratliff

The Meteor Bowl has been 90% of Red Zone for the late games. Jags-Tits can’t be that boring

King Hippo

check the boxscore…

Spur

Yes, keep landing those hits on Brady

King Hippo

OF COURSE teh only Wolven Sort to not suck this week would be Jakobi Meyers.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That was bad ass, Jacobi Meyers.

Gratliff

The drying this is stupid, right? Like, they’re wet again by the time it’s snapped.

Brick Meathook

Sanctuary of the basilique Notre-Dame de Montréal:
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Men’s room of the basilique Notre-Dame de Montréal:
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Fronkenshteen

Funny. I associate the second picture with the Catholic Church more than the first. Weird.

Gratliff

We had another cardinal around here arrested for it recently and the only change I’ve seen among the locals is an increase in “PRAY THE ROSARY” bumper stickers

King Hippo

Darkest Timeline waves HAI

Spur

i think the Boobs worked

Mr. Ayo

Confirmed. We’re going to need more of them.

Viva La Tabula Raza

*does not post pic of triple-boob woman from Total Recall, because nipples*

Petronel

Idris Elba for Mustang. OK then

Spur

Dallas FG good by a taint hair

Fronkenshteen

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Spur

Run these Massholes over Zeke

Fronkenshteen

Hippos Instant Thoughts is great because I’m such a stoner, I already can’t remember the 1:00 scores. For example, did the Steelers win today? Who knows? Answer? Me! On the toilet at 7:00. See you there!

Spur

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Fronkenshteen

The left one is called Whitesnake, the right, Bon Jovi.

Spur

and seat belt is Winger

Spur

Defense did their JOB. This next series Dallas should try no huddle with Zeke play action and double TE

Gratliff

Fire these refs if they don’t start calling those INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS DPI calls

Fronkenshteen

FUCK I hate the patriots

Spur

Just run for the 1st Dak. you’ll get at least 5 positive yards

Viva La Tabula Raza

Whoopsy, Dak!

King Hippo

I don’t like y’all (duh) but I really respect the jerb Belicheat is doing this year (his very best)

Viva La Tabula Raza

Y’all can take comfort in knowing that eventually, Belichicarus will fly too close to the sun.

King Hippo

thank fuck I benched DAK! at least

Gratliff

A DAKKY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE FORUM

Spur

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Spur

Slippery balls

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Please don’t kick me!”
—Football

Spur

Let’s inspire the Boys comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Jerry could re-open the White House as an incentive.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/infamous-cowboys-white-house-still-181700797–nfl.html

Spur

also something Boston is proud of comment image

Mistborn Impossible

Interesting story behind that photo, if anybody is unaware: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Soiling_of_Old_Glory

Spur

more vodka!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Obligatory Dropkick Murphys bumper music on cue.

Spur

Shut up Buck.

King Hippo

NFL LEAST

King Hippo

DUE UR JERB

LemonJello

GREAT ODIN’S RAVEN! SUCK LESS, JAGURAS!

Gratliff

Clusterfuckery in New England

Spur

great