The video I’m going to link below is explicit in certain ways. It might be difficult for some to watch. Fair warning.
But if it stops one person from doing what one of my family members did recently, then it’s worth it.
Once you take that path you cannot fix things. You cannot improve things. You cannot change things.
And you leave behind a wake of destruction.
I personally have experienced periods of depression. Not because of internal depression, but because of life circumstances. Though that doesn’t make it better in the moment. But things do get better if you let them. If you try.
If you talk to someone, perhaps.
But I always looked in the mirror and considered the options and how my decisions might affect others.
So look in the mirror and realize this…
You are fucking perfect just the way you are and it does not matter what anyone else thinks.
Read that sentence again if you have to.
You’re never going to agree with everyone on everything. You’re going to have bad days.
Doesn’t fucking matter.
You are and should be your own person. Regardless of what anyone else thinks.
Anyone who cannot accept that can just go fuck off.
Respect yourself no matter what anyone says, in spite of mistakes you might have made.
We all make mistakes, but those mistakes don’t have to define who or what we are.
Now I gotta go do last minute Christmas shopping I guess.
–
Oh boy, the black dog of depression – Winston Churchill’s words. That dog has dogged me throughout my life.
Struggled, tailspinned into negativity, realized it was not hurting me, but others around me. Medicine and a counselor who fucking knows me inside and out. It comes and goes, no doubt.
My father’s brother killed himself when I was 19. it shattered my father to the core. along with all of us. He was bipolar, and on Lithium, so there were various factors involved.
Back then, men didn’t talk about depression, and it’s prevalent in Italian Americans – passion has its opposite, which is depression, anger, and a raging temper.
When the black dog shows up, I steal time with my boys, the best antidote. I’ve made it a goal to beat that fucker with positive living, a great attitude and admitting that it’s a weak spot at times.
Please, for the love of Christ, if ANY OF YOU, have these feelings, DM me. I will be there, I know it hurts and it feels like falling into the center of a black hole. This is nothing to fuck with, it can be dealt with.
Strength, love, good vibes to all of you.
Weebaby, you need me you got me. [email protected]
Thank you Fozz. I do appreciate that.
On my drive home today, I thought about how my taste in music has evolved in the last decade.
Heh, it’s good to be young at heart and have evolving musical tastes. I’m afflcited with basically constant choice of music since I was but a wee kid… 60 through 80s rock and metal, with stylistically similar groups into the present day for me 😀
Wife: “I need a drink.”
Me: “well, twist my arm.”
Basil Hayden bottle: “Please sir, it’s Christmas.”
Me: “Tough fucking shit. You’re going DOWN!”
Found a funny:
An emergency hotdog that heats up when you crack it like a glow stick.
… That can… actually be done, lol. It won’t be cost-effective, but you can basically use the same technology behind FRH’s … throw in some questionable meats and yer done 😀
Shit, this post definitely is the tough truth 🙁 . As this seems to be a good place as any (plus I can finally talk about it without getting a bit too dark), I almost took the same “way out” as TWBS’s and Revanchist’ family members. Around my birthday 11 years ago I had reached such a low point in life (the one I thought “was the one” cheated on me an’ dumped me, the stress from Uni and working full time piling up) that I literally had pressed a 9mm Beretta against the roof of my mouth and started pulling the trigger, when a banging on my door snapped me out of it enough to see who it was.. Not sure how I looked at that door, but that person took it upon herself to bring me back from the edge. I really can’t even quite articulate how she managed to give me something to … live for and to actually walk me back from the darkness, but whatever it was – those first steps away from the edge led to 4 beautiful kids, a life I couldn’t even dream of in my wildest dreams and waking next to her every blessed day and sharing that same life with someone that makes me believe in miracles. And I still occasionally get the shiver when I recall the subtle shift of the trigger pull that day that inched away from cocking the hammer and approaching the point where it’d have released the sear.
So I guess, with my rambling post I just want to reiterate what TR and TWBS said – if you’re thinking about taking the “easy” way out, talk to someone, ANYONE … It’s tragic how depression makes you lose yourself in the darkness and talking things out can start putting things in perspective – how ‘easy’ isn’t ‘easy’ for the people around you. Or how that quite often these setbacks are just that, and not the end of the line.
That’s a powerful story and I’m glad you could share it here.
Thank you for sharing that.
And she seems like a pretty special lady.
Your strength amazes and humbles me. My uncle killed himself when I was 19 and the damage done to our family still lingers.
Thanks, but it’s not strength nor anything else I could take credit for. It was just a really shitty moment or several piling on, I just got lucky to have someone to gently beat some sense into me. Hence why I’m suggesting anyone actually having “ideas” to reach out and speak with someone, because it does help.. Hell, even just talking to the other inmates of this Dick-Joke-Emporium(and Assylum for the criminally salty) is surprisingly helpful …
Since I’m feeling like sharing today, one more thing.
Someone we know lost their oldest son in a car wreck yesterday. He was in the passenger seat, getting a ride to work during the 4 am hour. A drunk driver hit the car he was in, pushing a ladder or some piping or something like that into the back of the head/neck of this young man. Killed him upon impact we suspect. We don’t know all the details quite yet. I’m sure this Christmas there will be many tears in that family. We have sent our condolences, but they really don’t do shit when your child dies.
Also, I will share a thing or two.
My wife growing up had a best friend, Judy. The two of them were together every day. There were signs, but no one really knew them. Judy never acted very different. However, before she committed suicide, she cleaned up a lot of things. She got rid of a lot of things. She was putting her life in order, getting rid of those things that might leave a mess.
After Judy killed herself, Judy’s mom blamed my wife. Mind you, they were in high school at the time, and my wife was a goody-two shoes. They were both grieving, but there are ways an adult should handle things. Everyone was at a loss and nothing was okay for anyone. If only someone told Judy that life can get better.
There was an incident with my sister. She OD’d on some household pills on purpose, but she recovered and is fine now. After her divorce from her first husband, he hung himself a year later in his mom’s back yard. His mom found him. Based on what we experienced with him, he was just not mentally stable to begin with. He needed more than someone to talk to. He needed professional help for serious mental health issues other than just suicide.
Back in HS, a bunch of us on the soccer team would hang around together, maybe just say ‘hi’. We had a good group of people that were just good people. That summer, I was excited to see everyone return. I said hello to many people, but one person was missing. She was a colonel’s daughter, and lived in base housing in an area away from everyone else. So, no one really got a chance to ever hang out with her. Word got around that she had killed herself during the summer, but no one really batted an eye. She was smart and cute and friendly, but not popular. It seemed like no one cared. She didn’t have many, if any, close personal friends that we knew of. She was just kind of a blip on the radar. I sincerely hope her family was just transferred out, but a rumor like that isn’t really something that was a rumor. A good person lost to the world is a not anything we need ever.
Speaking of living on base, there were these towers for base housing. Apartments. My dad was stationed on this base in Japan, so we all lived on this base (though we lived in a duplex). And I remember there being an epidemic of people jumping off the roofs/out the windows. There was always something very solemn about walking through the parking lot of these towers. I remember having a minor feeling of fear, like the ghosts of those who took their own lives lived there in some gruesome way. I was young still. These things even affected how I felt not knowing the persons or the reasons why they did what they did.
I cannot accept P!nk. She is annoying. That’s all I cannot except from this post.
You’re not alone. Confidential help is available for free.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: Call 1-800-273-8255
Open 24/7.
Thank you for that.
I should have included it myself.
If you’re off your meds, call your doctor. He/she will help you. You’re NEVER too far down the hole to reach up and get pulled out. This is the shortest day of the year. If you have Seasonal Affective Disorder, it is peaking on you RIGHT NOW. These holidays are MURDER for the clinically depressed. HANG IN THERE. Everything Seamus says above is truth.
/except you DeShaun Watson. you stink.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=de00ajXMUX0
Well he went to Clemson so you can’t expect too much.
This will be short.
This intrigues me.
-All males ~5’6″
Sounds like a group of perfect people to me.
At least most of us would be able to see over them at the movies.