“Victory is a fleeting thing in the gambling business. Today’s winners are tomorrow’s blinking toads, dumb beasts with no hope.” – Hunter Thompson

Titans and Vikings bettors came out big on the weekend, winning straight up as 5 and 8 point dogs (at least on the spreads at which I’m looking). The last line I see on the Seahawks game was a pick’em, while the Texans managed to cover 2.5 at home against the Bills and their wacky tacky laffy daffy QB (second half at least) with a big assist to the two Bills defenders who forgot how to wrap up on a sack.

I didn’t bet. I tried my luck a while back but I consistently lost almost every single time. So instead, I just sat back and enjoyed the Saints come up small in the big time, yet again. Not to discredit the Vikings, they have a very good team despite my personal dislike of shrinky dink the QB. But to go to overtime and not even be able to get one stop. With a damn good defence. A shame.

I’m just happy as can be that the cheating sex criminals will not win again. It feels like everyone is playing with house money now. 

The Seahawks crushed the hopes of many a Philly fan despite their insistence that they were shorthanded and therefore still the better team. Not sure about the logic there, especially considering the Week 12 win by the identical score, but as you saw on Sunday by the regularity with which pint-sized backup centre “li’l” Joey Hunt was put on skates by Fletcher Cox and friends there was a dearth of starters on the Seattle side as well. But alas, Rusty knows how to slide. And how to put the dagger in with a deep shot on 3rd and 10 in the 4th quarter. Sorry, Litre, nephew gets another notch and the tundra awaits. The Eagles will be back, they have a good group and a mess of a division right now.

Looking back at my Seahawks season preview I will happily admit I was wrong regarding DK Metcalf’s ability to play at a high level as a rookie receiver. I nailed my bit on the TE Vannett playing for his job – he was eventually traded when Will Dissly took over as starter, only to be lost for the season to injury. I couldn’t have imagined a better impact trade than getting Clowney from the Texans or Diggs from the Lions but those were very big additions on the good side of the ball.

I predicted 10-12 wins and a shot at the division which was a good bit of leeway to give myself but I think I hit it square on the bean. A division title would have been a massive help but these Hawks have been excellent on the road, now 8-1. This isn’t to say they’ve been bad at home since their 4-4 record in Seattle includes losses to Baltimore, New Orleans, and San Francisco. And another team.

Since I’m sure you’re all aware of the rest of last week’s happenings – J.J. Watt returns, makes plays. What a suprise. A three-time defensive MVP and multiple-time 20 sack man (at 3-4 end, no less) improves a defence. Also, Derrick Henry made Eddie George and all the tall backs proud, ran over everything and made us happy and Billy sad. I think he called him, “the guy with the x on his face” – I’d like to take a peek at the Divisional round.

First up we’ve got Minnesota visiting San Fran as 7 point road dogs (I like sports betting lingo). The line is a bit much here, I think. Minnesota has a good and healthy offence plus a very solid D and while their secondary is missing some pieces outside they were able to hold New Orleans well below their scoring average, especially their second-half of the season average. I’d take the Vikes to cover and while I’d love for them to win outright to make a home NFC final game at Seattle a possibility, I still think the ‘Niners are more talented overall and win 26-21. I give it a Plymouth Rock level vote of confidence.

Tennessee visits Baltimore for the late game and the Ravens are 9 point chalk. I think the books are still thinking the Patriots are what they were and not what they are. While the Titans are good and have a helluva running game and a good quarterback (? That still seems odd to write about Tannehill) I think Baltimore has a run game that can overwhelm them and give Jackson plenty of open looks so I don’t see Tennessee being able to score enough against the Ravens top notch defence to keep up, even within 10. Ravens win and cover 28-17 with a Buff Brahma confidence level.

Sunday, Houston travels to Kansas City to take on the Chiefs. This is billed as a shootout due to the offensive firepower these teams both possess but those tend to end up being grind-out slugfests. I have a good feeling about KC this year. When Chris Jones is playing on that D line their ability to stop the run goes from feeble grandmother to grizzly bear waking up mid-colonoscopy. The Chiefs are 9.5 point chalk here, though, and I think that is a few too many points to take. The Texans pull off a back-door cover but still drop the game. 34-27 Chiefs at a Silver Laced Polish.

Finally, the Seahawks go into Green Bay as 4 point underdogs on Sunday night. The Packers are fairly well-balanced this year, a bit of a change from years past. Aaron Jones has emerged as a top back and if Adams can stay healthy he’s a top-5/10 wide receiver. The defence has been playing better than before, as well, but this team just seems off a bit this year. And really, I couldn’t care less if they’ve won all their games 100-0, I’m taking Seattle to win because they have Russell and Marshawn is going to finally bust it out and rumble for a couple TDs and the win, 24-22 Seahawks. I’m giving this a Rhode Island Red vote of confidence, ’cause I like them.

That’s pretty much it for me, folks. I’m not even sure if I’m supposed to keep writing these.

My team’s defence of our Friday 8:30 pm novice league curling championship begins this Friday. I am going to avoid whisky before the game. This is almost always a good game plan for me regardless of the circumstances. The new season will, unfortunately, take away from my enjoyment of all the old movies I’ve been watching on Silver Screen Classics and Turner Classic Movies (cable television) but the team comes first. And the beer. Beer first, then the team. Then the old timey movies.

I watched the Hitchcock classic on Friday afternoon and the wildly unnecessary 1998 remake of Psycho on Saturday. It is incredible how poor casting destroys a film. I get the shot-for-shot (nearly – who didn’t ask for some audible masturbation?) remake as an experiment but, yikes, there’s just no point to the “new” one. Unless you’ve been searching for some dead Anne Heche ass bent over a bathtub. It’s not even movie ass. it’s quite a lot of visible hole.

OK. Now I’m done. And no, I do not do that to the chickens.