ALL HAIL BLEERGH.
In tribute to Bleergh (the God of Penalties), here are the Wildcard weekend’s best and worst penalties. I was unable to find the data in anything other than PDF (NFL gamesheets) this week, so these numbers are what i found from said game sheets. For those keeping track at home, there was not a week 17 Bleergh report, nor will there be as while i can get the gamesheets, i’m wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy to lazy to go through 16 of them to get the stats.
Here’s a random breakdown of this weeks penalties. I may or may not try to find the tape for these, nor am I making any judgement call on the individual penalties. I’m sure that there are plays that should have been called and were not, and other plays where the penalty wasn’t needed, depending on your fandom. This is mainly me looking a some numbers and publishing my findings, so let me know if there’s something you would like to see added or removed to the list.
Here are the bestest (in the eyes of Bleergh) penalties of the week:
| Team | Penalty | Result |
| n/a |
No points taken off the board this week due to penalties. Thjs makes Bleergh sad
These plays have multiple flags. This pleases Bleergh.
| Offence | Defence | Description |
| HOU | BUF | (10:06) (Shotgun) D.Watson pass short left to D.Hopkins to HST 37 for 5 yards (T.White; M.Hyde). FUMBLES (T.White), RECOVERED by BUF-T.Edmunds at HST 38. 2-10-HST 32 Penalty on HST-N.Martin, Unnecessary Roughness, offsetting. Penalty on BUF-J.Hughes, Unnecessary Roughness, offsetting |
| TEN | NE | (6:34) (Shotgun) R.Tannehill pass incomplete deep right to C.Davis. Penalty on NE-K.Van Noy, Defensive Offside, offsetting, enforced at NE 17 – No Play. Penalty on TEN-C.Davis, Illegal Touch Pass, offsetting |
| BUF | HOU | (2:00) (Shotgun) J.Allen pass incomplete short middle [A.Moore]. Penalty on BUF-J.Feliciano, Illegal Touch Pass, declined. PENALTY on BUF-J.Allen, Intentional Grounding, 14 yards, enforced at HST 28. |
While technically different plays, this sequence of plays by TEN makes me laugh.
| 1 | (5:52) (Punt formation) PENALTY on TEN, Delay of Game, 5 yards, enforced at NE 36 – No Play. |
| 2 | (5:29) (Punt formation) PENALTY on TEN-W.Woodyard, False Start, 5 yards, enforced at NE 41 – No Play. |
| 3 | 5:14) (Punt formation) PENALTY on NE-J.Bethel, Neutral Zone Infraction, 5 yards, enforced at NE 46 – No Play. |
Here are the worst (in the eyes of Bleergh) penalties of the week.
| Team | Penalty | Result |
| n/a |
No penalties for less than five yards this week. I remain hopeful for next week.
Here are the yardy-est(in the eyes of Bleergh) penalties of the week.
| Team | Penalty | Result |
| SEA | DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE | 20 yards |
| SEA | DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE | 39 yards |
| NE | DEFENSIVE PASS INTERFERENCE | 18 yards |
It (finally) occurred to me that I should try to show the penalties to the offence that a big gain is wiped out.
| Team | Penalty | Penalty yards | Play gained (yards) | Total lost |
| BUF | Intentional Grounding | 14 | 0 | 14 |
| SEA | OPI | 10 | 14 | 24 |
| NE | Ineligible Downfield Pass | 10 | 38 | 48 |
| SEA | False Start | 5 | 24 | 29 |
And here’s the total number of penalties per team this weekend.
| Team | Penalties against | Penalty yards | Ave yards per penalty |
| BUF | 7 | 64 | 9.14 |
| HOU | 4 | 20 | 5.00 |
| MIN | 4 | 26 | 6.50 |
| NE | 3 | 28 | 9.33 |
| NO | 6 | 52 | 8.67 |
| PHI | 7 | 45 | 6.43 |
| SEA | 11 | 114 | 10.36 |
| TEN | 5 | 25 | 5.00 |
Penalties by type*
| Name | Number called | Percentage | YTD | YTD Percentage |
Tonnes of false starts and minor holding calls this week.
*note that the zeros are penalties called from previous weeks but still in the list. Way too lazy to remove them and it ups my word count. Ha.
ALL HAIL BLEERGH.
BLEERGH not taking January off, fo sho. HAIL!!!
Buddy’s annual appeal to Twitter went well.
“My comment is obviously parody based upon the quotes around it. If your algorithms can’t discern between satire and a serious threat then they need to be recalibrated ASAP.
I notice serious threats on your platform from people still remain as do their accounts. I honestly don’t care if I get my account back but I just want to vent to you about your flagrant horseshit double standards and your ill-applied zero tolerance policy.
If some bot is going to reply without a reason why my account is suspended just fuck off and don’t even bother”
Wish me luck!
Twitter is nae worthy of ye, Buddy.