[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"THIS GUY, RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY, I CALL HIM PETE HEGSETH BECUASE HE LIKES TO DECLARE HIS BOMBERS HAVE DESTROYED SOMETHING WHEN THEY REALLY HAVEN’T" – LemonJello

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2019 Quotables – Conference Round (Results)

blaxabbath

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My birthday is Sunday so I’m trying to get out of here early today. And that means getting this non-work related obligation out of the way as well. So, with submissions here — below are your conference round Quotables results.

“Sigh. I still wish you were Sean McVay.” -Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“’Hey! What’s Hall of Fame Raiders Receiver Jerry Rice doing at today’s game?!?’ -some millennial 49ers fan, probably” -LemonJello
“You’re next, Joey Chestnut!” -Enrico Pallazzo
“Phil Simms: ‘Wow, I guess them Surface tablets have been around forever – I remember Lawrence Taylor doing that on the sidelines all the time.’” -SonOfSpam
“I’m gonna have a Mercedes park in my tender loin district tonight!” -ArmedandHammered
“My prediction? Well, the Chiefs are gonna be ready to play. See, they’re angry. They see the Super Bowl trophy as theirs, and the 49ers are just like some limp-wristed waiter trying to horn in on their property. That trophy better stay out of the way or it might not survive what’s comin’. Man, I’d sure hate to be whoever has to clean up the field when I get through with those two. God bless!” -SonOfSpam
“’I wonder how Erin Andrews would’ve reacted to that.’ — Richard Sherman” -Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
“You would think it was Sarah Thomas and Tyreek Hill on the field.” -nomonkeyfun
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Peyton said she thought it looked this big, but how could she see it if he put teabags on her eyes?”

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ArmedandHammered

The Lawrence Taylor comment had me laughing all day.

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Don T

the tender loin district killed me

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ArmedandHammered

I confused Mercedes with Kiara Mia, not sure how, but I just remembered it was a car type name. Kia – Mia, whatever.

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LemonJello

Just some fantastic submissions this week. Hopefully the Superb Owl will give us some worthy material.

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