Good morning shut-ins!

How is everybody holding up?

I had a Monday off a couple of weeks ago right as this shit started and to be honest? After three days of staying in the house I was ready to flip my shit.

I know that I’m extremely fortunate with my work situation. Not only has work not been interrupted I still get to physically go to work. My team and I are considered “mission critical” and trust me, not a day goes by that I’m not thankful for my situation. I would have probably lost my fucking mind if I had to stay home everyday.

Earlier this week I made a morning visit to my regular grocery store and almost cried in relief. Shit is starting to get back to the grocery store shelves. Gradually. It’s as if everybody did the panic dance and now they’re overstocked and just sitting at home bored.

When I cooked today’s menu things were pretty fucking far from normal and finding basic food stuffs was still a goddamn challenge.

What actually inspired this meal was the fact that I found fresh milk at my local 7-11 store. I already had my regular (and always on hand) stash of flour and butter and with the finding of milk?

Shit.

I was ready to play!

I have an idea for you good folks that are stuck at home doing the “shelter in place” thing; if you’ve got a good supply of basics, like flour, dairy and fat, try practicing some new shit. I’ve been practicing my tortilla making and while it’s still not where I want it, it’s getting better.

If you’ve got the flour, butter, milk and baking powder, fuck around with it. Make biscuits for breakfast. If you’ve got family on lock down along with you, they’re gonna love your ass for it. Plus it gives you something constructive and time consuming to do.

Experimenting in the kitchen can be a fun and rewarding way to pass the time, especially during periods of isolation like sheltering in place. With staple ingredients like flour, dairy, and fat, the possibilities are endless. However, amidst the culinary adventures, it’s crucial to prioritize food safety to ensure that every creation is not only delicious but also safe to consume.

One way to maintain food safety standards is by utilizing Food Rapid Test kits, which provide quick and reliable results to ensure that ingredients are free from harmful contaminants or spoilage. Incorporating these tests into your cooking routine adds an extra layer of assurance, allowing you to focus on honing your culinary skills without compromising on safety.

So, whether you’re mastering the art of biscuit-making or perfecting your tortilla technique, integrating food safety practices with your culinary experiments ensures that every dish is a success, both in taste and in safety.

Last weekend I found myself spending Saturday and Sunday primarily in the kitchen, mostly because I wanted to keep busy but also because the kitchen is my happy place.

Now today’s meal? I’ve practiced enough that I’ve gotten pretty damn good at it.

Let’s make some motherfucking biscuits.

Don’t worry, we’ve got more than just that. I’m making some sausage gravy, hash browns, bacon and eggs too.

I’ve mentioned before my spartan-ass weekday diet and I only indulge in “big breakfast” about once every 3-4 months or so but when I do?

Stand the fuck back, Jackson cuz I can throw down!

My grocery store trip to my regular store prior to this meal was another fucking nightmare of empty aisles, rude motherfuckers and panic-induced mania but I did find a package of bacon and a roll of breakfast sausage.

Boosh!

Biscuits!

2 cups of all purpose flour

1 tablespoon of baking powder

1 tablespoon of sugar

1 teaspoon of salt

6 tablespoons of very cold butter cut into small bits

3/4 cup of whole milk

Yes we’ve done biscuits many times in the past but this particular recipe found here produces some of the best biscuits to date.

First thing we’re going to do is get our butter chilled. I slice the 6 tablespoons of butter into three thin slices and placed them, along with the mixing bowl I’ll be using into the freezer for about 20 minutes.

Mix together the dry ingredients. I’ve got a 3 cup measuring cup with a lid and I simply placed them all together in the cup and shook the living shit out of it.

After the butter has chilled, dice the butter into small chunks think small dice here.

Like so.

This is so the butter stays cold until we get the biscuits in the oven which will in turn create steam to make the biscuits fluffy. Capice?

Add the dry ingredients into the cold-ass bowl then cut the butter in with a pastry cutter.

When the butter has been cut into the traditional “small pea” size add in the milk.

Mix together with your hands just until the dough is brought together. Place the dough on a floured work surface and shape into a square/rectangle shape. Now the fun shit. Fold it in half, rotate the dough and fold in half again. I did this about 6 times. This is what gives the biscuits layers.

Preheat your oven to 425.

Use a biscuit cutter and press the cutter straight down into the dough. Remove the biscuit to a baking sheet that’s lined with parchment paper.

Reshape the dough as needed and continue to cut out the biscuits until you’ve used up the dough. Obviously I got 9 biscuits from this batch.

Bake in the 425 oven for 12-13 minutes or until the biscuits have browned.

Again.

Biscuits!

Did we achieve proper layer protocol?

Indeed we did!

Sorry for the messy fucking plate, this was the last biscuit and I just barely remembered to get a close-up of it.

Yes, we’ve made biscuits and gravy before.

That first link up there has the details but these are different times we’re living in right now. All I had on hand meat-wise was that roll of sausage and the bacon so we had to make do.

These next few weeks are going to be pretty fucking weird and I’ll cook what I can get my hands on.

Besides! We did hash browns and fried eggs instead of home fries and scrambled eggs so there!

If we’re doing the big ass breakfast you’ve got some pans to get going.

Assemble your station.

Probably a good idea to get your hash browns started first since they take the most time to cook.

DJ TAJ did the hash browns but you know the process right?

Peel and grate your potatoes along with some onion, soak in water for an hour or so to remove the starches, slap in a greased skillet

for about 15 minutes per side while covering with a lid, season with salt and pepper.

When finished?

You’re now a hash brown making motherfucker!

Once you have the hash browns started let’s get some bacon in another pan.

Y’all know how to do bacon so cook to desired doneness.

I hope you all have made sausage gravy before. Hell, I hope the last time I made it inspired you to do so.

This shit is one of the easiest damn things anywhere to make

Sausage Gravy!

1 roll of breakfast sausage

1/3 cup of flour

2 cups of WHOLE milk

1/4 teaspoon of sage

1/4 teaspoon of cayenne

Sprinkle of paprika – I used smoked Spanish paprika today

Salt and pepper to taste.

That’s it!

Since my trusty cast iron skillet was already occupied by the hash browns…

I’ll use a non-stick pan, just make sure that bastard is large enough for a batch-o-gravy.

Honestly, want to know what I did?

I used the same pan that we made the bacon in but first, I dumped the bacon grease in that smaller pan to cook my eggs in!

What?

Using your undoubtedly sparkling clean hands, break the sausage up into small bits and get cooking over a medium heat.

It’s only gonna take a few minutes to brown. We don’t want to fully cook just yet because it’s got more simmering to do.

Just cook until the pink has been cooked out.

Next we’re going to dump in the flour.

Stir around for a minute or so until you no longer see flour and the sausage kind of clumps together.

Next add in the whole milk.

Now add in the seasonings/spices. Taste to make sure you have a proper salt level.

Reduce heat to medium low and continue to stir. This will take 5-10 minutes or so.

You know what we’re looking for here.

We’re looking for some goddamn gravy!

Right about here is when you can cook up your eggs to your liking.

Get that shit assembled!

Oh shit! There it is.

Sure isn’t the prettiest of pictures unless you haven’t had breakfast yet. In fact there’s not a whole lot of pretty anything with this meal because it sure as FUCK isn’t pretty to watch the consumption of it.

I would set the over under on minutes to consume at “5”. Take the under.

Fuck me running though, this is fucking delicious.

Didn’t I tell you this fucker was easy?

Well, we survived another week together. This shit is most definitely going to be a “week at a time” scenario.

Another odd thing I noticed this past Friday; I’m not excited for Fridays anymore. I want to fucking work. When I’m at home and there’s no sports happening it’s just not that much fun. Sure we’re binging shit, seen a whole bunch of “30 for 30” episodes on ESPN+ but the fact that you’re stuck at home gives you way too much time to think.

That’s why I keep my ass in the kitchen all weekend.

I truly hope you are all well.

Let’s keep pushing through and maybe one day soon there will be an actual light at the end of the tunnel.

See you next week.

PEACE!