Your Second Round of NFL Games Open Thread

One blowout, one sorta interesting tilt and one helluva slugfest (though it could go blowout as well). Seems like a typical 4 O’ Clocker in there’s not much choice.

TO THE GAMES!

Jets/Rams:

Who are you taking-Aaron Donald’s league-dominating 75 pressures or the Jets 31st ranked O-line? Rb Akers has a stranglehold on ‘lead dog’ status in the Rams backfield as they (and you) play the important games. He’s had some nice production with 50 carries over the last 2 games. If you’re looking to stream a tight end (and the majority of you probably are) you could do worse than Higbee or Everett given that this New York squadoo can’t defend the position at all and has given up more TD’s to that spot than anyone else.

Eagles/Cards:

Hurts had 14 designed runs and 4 scrambles for 106 yards last week in their upset win over the Saints and you can expect more of the same as Philly heads down the stretch. Must be nice having this sort of wild card that teams, even though they now have a bit of game film, will still likely have trouble defending his tendencies. On t’udder side expect Hopkins to get double-digit targets as the Cards exploit a very weak Eagles coverage unit. Kyler has worried fantasy owners and fans alike by running only 5 times in each of weeks 11-13 but bounced back with 13 gallops last week.

Chiefs/Saints:

This is one for all the eyeballs. Too bad Mikey Thomas has been put on the shelf like an elf-Brees will likely need all the horses he can get his hands on if he’s to keep up with K.C. No matter what Kamara’s pass-catching prop is, take that over. That Mahomes kid just keeps on doing things-he has the 2nd-most 20+ yard completions, he has the highest qb rating under pressure and takes sacks at one of the lowest rates in the league. For a dude that goes for the big play as often as he does, he sure protects the ball well, don’t he? It may not be wise to start CE-H though-in his last 4 of 5 he’s averaged 3.5 ypc or less. I haven’t seen the phrase ‘hit the rookie wall’ yet so I’m calling dibs.

Hammer that keyboard like the god/goddesses you are.

5 3 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
354 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
hippofant

I fell asleep. But now I’m BACK! To watch Steelers vs Ben… I ‘m going back to sleep.

hippofant

Oh sorry, that’s tomorrow’s shit-ass game. Tonight’s shit-ass game is Browns vs Giants.

Doktor Zymm

Whoa, has Red Zone guy been wearing that getup all this time?

King Hippo

No, Jeeem. I can tell you who’s had the better year. Fucking Mahomes.

Cecil Rhodes

Brokeback QB should get a vote or two. His stats are not that different from Mahomes’, and the Bills aren’t circling any wagons without him.

herodotus450

Huh i wonder why Andy Reid’s mask as a brisket-shaped lump in it.

Doktor Zymm

He can stick whatever he wants in there as long as it isn’t doing the chin diaper thing

Spur

Love that big dumb Kelce.

Doktor Zymm

A depressing Pogues song, or the most depressing Pogues song?
https://youtu.be/_iYqWtIm0zI

Bloody Lethal

False the most depressing is…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=19ImPCpUUto

Written and sung by Andrew Ranken after his wife died while recording this album!

Doktor Zymm

Not actually depressing, but 100% my favorite:
https://youtu.be/gPPscelHVhA

Bloody Lethal

Wonderful album indeed.

Doktor Zymm

I want both teams to do well. Let’s get a NO FG, go to OT, then TIE THE TIE

King Hippo

With 2:06, really should throw on 1st down.

Spur

Andy Reid needs all his timeouts to decide what type of Po’boys to order.

Bloody Lethal

I may as well kick myself in the dick and sleep on the lawn for how I am going to feel after tonight’s game.

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like that involves stretching, and stretching is healthy, so excellent plan!

Gatoraids

CEH is that you?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not going to be easy to get that 6-10 playoff team from the NFC East, but it’s still possible!

Cecil Rhodes

If a 6-10 team makes the playoffs, I’m putting all of the money down on them in case they win the Superb Owl. I’m secretly hoping that I get to bet on the Football Team.

WCS

I’m not a medical professional, but, that’s a ouchie.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That looks like a season-ender.

King Hippo

Yup. Joins the Saquon club.

Doktor Zymm
Recovery Whiskey

A round of Irish Car Bombs for them

Cecil Rhodes

KC Chief RB has a Wounded Knee. ColoUr me surprised.

Recovery Whiskey

He will fight no more forever

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, it’s now boring again.

Recovery Whiskey

The Forty Whiners of Santa Clara are eliminated.

Recovery Whiskey

Aw that ending Hurts

King Hippo

Happens to everybody. Sometimes.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It pisses me off so much to see these idiots leave their feet when a quarterback pump fakes. Just lower your head and hit him!

Doktor Zymm

The late games outperforming

Gatoraids

Air raid fumblerooski

King Hippo

JEEBUS, what a window!

WCS

BEAST MODE ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Doktor Zymm

Northern Ireland had about 25 years of Civil War and it’s self-effacingly referred to as The Troubles. We’re all kinda shit, aren’t we?

Recovery Whiskey

We drank drinks to mock them as we funded their terrorists. A round of Black and Tans

Doktor Zymm

Gotta go half and half. And never, ever try to order an Irish Car Bomb.

yeah right

Yes. Yes we are.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay I have to take back what I said about the Saints game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Holy shit Mahomes is a tough motherfucker.

Gatoraids

That’s gregg williams music baaah gawd the HMS Bounty sails again

Redshirt

“There will be pizza with all sorts on the toppings on the plane ride home to New York.”

That explains it: the New York Jets are run like a youth baseball team.

Gatoraids

I don’t trust them to order pizza

WCS

/orders pizza

//ends up with glass of Hudson River water instead

Redshirt

I know this is a typo on CBS’s website, but its funny because it might be true.

Report: Wentz will ask for trade if Eagles stick with Wentz in 2021

Recovery Whiskey

Playing all the angles

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This Saints game has become uninteresting.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I just noticed there was almost a full quarter lefts and was unimpressed

Cecil Rhodes

Not over yet!

Doktor Zymm

Stiff Little Fingers weren’t familiar with the NFL, but they did anticipate what it’s like to be drafted by the Jets, Browns, Team, etc. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3mqtXQAunw

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HOORAY FOR EMBEDDING DOUBLE SHOT!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIitQNXVgb8

King Hippo

Beat me to it!!

Recovery Whiskey

Pretty soft red

King Hippo

and they don’t even know if it was VAR. Quite the shambles.

Redshirt

Well, this wouldn’t be the first time college students fled to Canada to evade a draft.

King Hippo

Good thing DFO has the world’s finest CFL coverage!

Redshirt

LeVeon Bell did…a…something?!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Who’s the consensus #2 pick in the NFL draft? Someone should probably keep an eye on them tonight, and make sure there’s no loose rope around the house. Oh, and take their shoelaces away.

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
King Hippo

Boy howdy, did this JV weekend ever show the chasm between Prison Girlfriend and that Fields dude at tOSU. Maybe that mammoth Oregon OT goes 2nd instead?

Redshirt

Then maybe its a good thing Finley is starting tomorrow. The Bengals may need to move up to lock up Sewell.

WCS

“NFL? Never heard of it. We’re going to college for our degrees in communications.”

— Justin F, Columbus, OH

— Penei S., Eugene, OR

Gatoraids

Students need draft forgiveness

Doktor Zymm

Shit! Wrong draft! Was trying to go to Afghanistan!

Doktor Zymm
Recovery Whiskey

Take ‘em all

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

Although I was disappointed when I realized they were just talking about music execs, but gotta start somewhere I guess

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle did used to be known as JET City

Redshirt

…and the 2008 Detroit Lions and the 2017 Cleveland Browns opens the Ginger Ale!

Gatoraids

Can’t wait for the Gase press conference

b1f983de99dfef2b8fd9270f05693a96.jpg
Redshirt

When I killed our draft position, I talked just like this!

WCS

Jest vs. Jaguras

Who blows Trover Lawrence’s career first?

herodotus450

“I’ve decided to take a year off, might go backpacking in Europe”

Redshirt

“I’ve decided to volunteer at a COVID-19 Intensive Care Unit.”

Gatoraids

Haven’t seen a killing by a Hopkins like that since Silence of the Lambs

Fronkenshteen

Mike Francesa is gonna troll the FUCK out of Jets fans tomorrow. The NY Post sports page will be like a massive accident on the turnpike. Like a mayonnaise truck colliding with a tanker filled with fart spray during a Mets rainout.

Doktor Zymm

I’m now contemplating the supply chain dynamics of fart spray

ArmedandHammered

Atmosphere collection from midwest old folks homes should create enough to meet the world’s demands.