Request Line: The Ultimate Cleveland Browns Mixtape

Sad songs don’t usually dominate the airwaves during Request Line.  However, when the week’s topic is “The Cleveland Browns,” how could we possibly expect that the subsequent results would include anything else?

Outside of their faithful fanbase, the dominant emotion most football fans – including those within their own division – feel for the Browns is “pity”.  The franchise has suffered some of the most disappointing and humiliating losses in the history of the NFL.  The Browns have been victim to both tragic misfortune and relentless self-sabotage over their history, and I’ve listed some of the key events below.  Your job is to choose songs to represent these.  It’s by no means an exhaustive list; if you have another incident you think belongs on this mixtape, please add it (along with your song suggestion, if you’ve got one).  It’s probably best to think of this as an offseason version of Quotables, where quality matters much more than quantity and the liberal use of the +1 button is encouraged.  Feel free to keep adding over the weekend and into early next week.

  • 1950: The Browns join the National Football League and win the championship during their inaugural season.
  • 1961: Art Modell takes over ownership of the Browns.
  • 1966: Running back Jim Brown retires from his dominance of the NFL to focus on his acting career, and the Browns’ championship drought begins.
  • 1969: The horribly polluted Cuyahoga River catches fire.
  • 1980: Brian Sipe of “Kardiac Kids” fame throws a late game interception while in field goal range in a play memorialized as “Red Right 88”.
  • 1986: The Drive
  • 1987: The Fumble
  • 1995: The Browns (personnel including players) move to Baltimore and become the Ravens franchise, which wins a Super Bowl in five years.
  • 1999: The dormant Browns franchise resumes play as an expansion team.  Later that year Orlando Brown suffers an eye injury when struck by a penalty flag and assaults the offending official.
  • 2001: Bottlegate.
  • 2002: In the season opener against the Chiefs, Dwayne Rudd takes off and hurls his helmet before the final whistle, leading to a penalty that costs the Browns a victory.
  • 2002: In what will be their only playoff appearance in a 20-year span, the Browns blow a 24-7 second-half lead to their divisional rival the Pittsburgh Steelers.
  • 2007: With a win guaranteeing a playoff berth, Derek Anderson throws five interceptions in a 19-14 loss to the Bengals during Week 16. The Browns subsequently miss the playoffs.
  • 2012: The Browns use their first round pick to draft 28 year-old quarterback Brandon Weeden.  A few months later Jimmy Haslan purchases the Browns.
  • 2014: Upon the advice of a homeless derelict, the Browns use the 22nd pick in the draft to select Johnny “Football” Manziel.
  • 2017: After a near miss the previous year, Hue Jackson completes an 0-16 “imperfect season”.
  • 2018: The Browns use the first overall pick in the draft to select Baker Mayfield, and the infamous Tim Couch et al. jersey is replaced.
  • 2020: Swagger the dog passes away at age 6.
  • 2021: Baker Mayfield leads the Browns to their first postseason appearance in almost 20 years and their first playoff win since 1994.

Swagger was kind enough to host an edition of Request Line where you might find some inspiration, if you need it.  Next Friday, I’ll compile the mixtape into a single track for us to enjoy, and I’ll announce the topic that we’ll be requesting songs for on the following Friday.  I’ll get us started with the overture “Burn On” by Randy Newman, which most of you will remember as the music for the opening titles of Major League.

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Subscribe
Notify of
93 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
bk109
bk109

For Management being quick to pull the trigger on anyone BUT Hue “I also have video” Jackson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3eC35LoF4U

Beerguyrob

For Art Modell.

https://vimeo.com/143246060

Beerguyrob
blaxabbath
Game Time Decision
Last edited 3 years ago by Game Time Decision
BC Dick

Big Benjamin’s 24-2 or whatever record it is again them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63Agrr2qC78

blaxabbath

2007: With a win guaranteeing a playoff berth, Derek Anderson throws five interceptions in a 19-14 loss to the Bengals during Week 16.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaafMpqXXBs

LemonJello

Baker takes the Browns to the playoffs.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNbBDrceCy8

King Hippo

How a #ThePauls supporter feels every Sunday:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCLzWwRGpcw

SonOfSpam

“The Browns are ridin high and headin to the Super Bowl!!!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exnHAdopRxA

bk109

In honour of the Josh Gordon years

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYsTmIzjkw

LemonJello

A penchant for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5rRZdiu1UE

bk109

And another pair: GM/Coaching staff and players that learned that they’ve been traded to Cleveland 😀

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_bJVVpSi7k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjV8SHjHvHk

bk109

Somehow this feels kinda apt for the “Same old Browns” and the “NuBrowns” (in the seconds of actual happiness after they beat Cap’n Fat Fuck (LEADER OF MEEEEEEEEN)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUEYvE3gnZQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiRqNf1BKNQ

King Hippo

Double shot for the query “Will #ThePauls EVAR make the Owl?”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9_TMj8GB6s

King Hippo

When #ThePauls play footsie with hope…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Qz0m5IYh10

LemonJello

The franchise leaves, but then there’s a new franchise?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eswQl-hcvU0

ArmedandHammered

Every Browns Fan to Art Modell:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th4Czv1j3F8

SonOfSpam

What do Browns fans think of Modell?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfcq47vzCpE

King Hippo

An easy pick, but necessary:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSPaXgAdzE

King Hippo

and I have to double shot it…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qkNa5xzOe5U

King Hippo

Beck was as made FOAR this moment as Johnny FITBAW!!

King Hippo

I mean, the lyrics even include “a Bozo nightmare”

ArmedandHammered

Every NFL player on leaving the Browns:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJktf4aTNvk

LemonJello
ThurberHerder
SonOfSpam

The GM, after getting draft advice from a hobo…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74dvJVwGA6Y

ArmedandHammered

Damn, good one.

ArmedandHammered

The Cleveland Browns usual season:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClnN_s2VGV0

ArmedandHammered

At every draft where the Browns want a QB:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bWcASV2sey0

LemonJello

Browns never reaching their destination of a Superb Owl?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vST6hVRj2A

SonOfSpam

More river music, mainly because this kicks ass

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4fDCwDiWJQ

SonOfSpam

Maybe Orlando Brown will be comforted by a pretty Ron Sexsmith song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgO-EhT02RM

SonOfSpam

You go get that girl, Alex P. Keaton

SonOfSpam

Hue Jackson, achieving perfection

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5BRSTJeHwEk

rockingdog

LOL
comment image

Last edited 3 years ago by rockingdog
ArmedandHammered

The homeless person who advised Haslam to draft Manziel:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0jMPI_pUec

ArmedandHammered

Ask and you shall receive:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABXtWqmArUU

ArmedandHammered
SonOfSpam
ArmedandHammered

This was such a great album.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, it really was.

King Hippo

Stole my idea, because #ThePauls obvs

SonOfSpam
ArmedandHammered

Tim Couch traveling to all 31 other NFL teams looking for work after being let go by the Browns who wasted a 1st round pick on him:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDt5blm9Ej0

ArmedandHammered

In memory of Charles White and Don Rogers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7eD2PFBhlE

Last edited 3 years ago by ArmedandHammered
SonOfSpam

Sipe’s favorite song (appropriate that it’s a theme for a show with “Blinders”)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RrxePKps87k

ArmedandHammered

Brady Quinn is drafted in 1st round:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K13hH0pJx5s

Game Time Decision

Something to try to calm one down after a loss

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4F9DxYhqmKw

Last edited 3 years ago by Game Time Decision