Request Line: That Which is Ordinary, and That Which is Strange

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A sleazy Hollywood producer – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is seated behind his desk, looking perplexed.  His colleague – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is seated on the couch, wearing a “BIDEN/HARRIS 2020” t-shirt and staring at a collection of items on the coffee table.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: So…explain it to me one more time?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY reaches out, picks up a peach, and begins laboriously eating it.

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: I have to eat them all.

DTZM: Right, but why?

RTD: Because I made a deal with the universe.  I told it that if it gave me something I wanted, I’d eat one hundred peaches.

DTZM: And it delivered?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY sets the pit of the peach that he just finished into a plastic bin, then begins eating another.

RTD: To my chagrin, yes.

DTZM: And now you’re fulfilling your end?

RTD: That’s right.

DTZM: We pull out of deals all the time, though.  Just tell the universe that funding for the peaches fell through.

RTD: No dice, I actually got these peaches for free.  I told the vendor at the farmer’s market that we’d use his stall in the background of a project.  Wrote up the paperwork and everything.

DTZM: Which project?

RTD: Inglewood Eckstein.

DTZM: You know that’s never getting made, right?

RTD: Of course I know that, why do you think I made the transaction.

DTZM: Aren’t you just courting new trouble with the universe by having your deal with the peach vendor fall through?

RTD: What?  No, of course not, my deal with the universe was completely distinct from that.

DTZM: What’d you wish for anyways?

RTD: I’ll never tell.  If you cared enough, you could probably figure it out from…

DTZM: Anyways, what’s on tap for Request Line this week?

RTD: [stares ruefully at the pile of peaches] Fruit?

DTZM: Sure, sounds good.  [holds Apple watch up to his mouth] SIRI, PLAY STRANGE FRUIT BY BILLIE HOLIDAY

SIRI: [via Apple watch] PLAYING STRANGE FRUIT BY BILLIE HOLIDAY

RTD: Well that was…WAIT.  We already did fruit.

DTZM: We did?

RTD: Yeah, Eli Manning hosted it.

DTZM: Huh.  How about “things that are strange”?

RTD: Sure, that works.  Maybe let’s include “things that are ordinary” as well, just to broaden things up a bit.

DTZM: All right then.  Now…isn’t it time for you to eat another peach?

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