Good day to you, beautiful degenerates. Reverend Mayhem here, subbing in for the intrepid Horatio Cornblower.  Grand Admiral Cornblower is currently on detached service with the Bey of Backscratchistan’s Navy.

We will preserve the time-honored Rites of The Mock Draft:

1. First come, first served, subject to my whims and fancies;

2. For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one. That will be revised up or down depending on how much participation we get; and

3. Moderator Overlord Supreme (me) gets final word on what is allowed and what is Vile Heresy.

ON TO THE TOPIC!

I love Horatio’s Monday Mock Drafts, and so I briefly considered “Worst Substitutes and Fill-Ins”. However, after “Apple sauce for oil/butter/lard in any recipe,” “Sammy Hagar,” and “Me”, the list runs dry fairly quickly.

Then I considered “Best Replacements”- Harry Morgan for McLean Stevenson on M*A*S*H, Chocolate milk for regular on cereal, and of course “The Replacements” starring Keanu Reeves and Gene Hackman.

Finally, I considered something banal like “Best Sauce”, until I realized that some People Who Shall Remain Nameless would start arguing that enriched uranium is a sauce and it would rapidly descend into Anarchy.

So this weeks topic is:

Favorite Semi-Obscure Movie/TV/Book/Video Game!

I love The Replacements.

You can keep your Rocky IV and your Bull Durham and your Longest Yard. The finest sports comedy ever made was The Replacements.

Fuck you, watch Rocky IV again and tell me it’s not a comedy.

The Replacements barely broke even at the box office and critics were dismissive. It is largely forgotten today. But with Reeves, Hackman, Rhys Ifans and John Favreau, it is a classic. Weekend before the season starts, it always gets a watch.

So what obscure work of entertainment would you like to bring to the attention of the Seething Masses? Preach your gospel on this street corner.