Request Line: Weekend At Zuernie’s – Part 5 (Hooks)

INT. DFO PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY

A pair of sleazy Hollywood producers have broken their own personal record for how long they have remained hard at work in their office.  One – DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS – is standing in front of a blank whiteboard, a marker in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.  The other – RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY – is seated in an office chair a few feet away, holding a copy of the script.  A third person in the office is lounging on the couch, throwing a football up in the air to himself and catching it.  

COLE BEASLEY: So lemme get this straight.  You fellas are gonna figure out all the advertising stuff before we actually shoot the film?

RIKKI-TIKKI-DEADLY: Oh, absolutely.

DARKEST TIMELINE ZACK MORRIS: It’s fairly typical to have a good idea of how the film is going to be marketed before it’s shot.

RTD: That way the director can make informed choices when it’s time to make decisions.

DTZM: We’ll revisit this process once we’ve got a rough cut…

RTD: Obviously.

DTZM: …but in the movie business it’s important to stay in front of things.

COLE BEASLEY: Kind of like pre-snap motion so you can figure out if the defense is running man or zone?

RTD: Exactly like that!

DTZM: Right now we’re working on taglines.

COLE BEASLEY: How about “THE CHINA VIRUS IS A HOAX AND IT WILL GO AWAY LIKE A MIRACLE.”

RTD: Yeah…let’s put that one in the ‘maybe’ pile.

DTZM: We need something with a little more ‘snap’ to it.

COLE BEASLEY: “With just two weeks left until Reinstatement Day…THEY’VE GOT A LITTLE TIME TO KILL.”

RTD: That’s…really not consistent with the script you’ve written Cole.

COLE BEASLEY: Yeah but it sounds cool.

DTZM: It makes it sound like you and Surfin’ Jack are the ones who killed her.

RTD: When it was actually just…[pages through the script]…a heart attack.

DTZM: …that she happens to suffer after having been on a ventilator for twelve days.

COLE BEASLEY: Right, she died with COVID, not of COVID.

RTD: [reading on]…after [quoting directly from the script] “someone who looks exactly like Chuck Jew-mer” injected an air bubble into her IV drip…

DTZM: …because she knew too much about the pedophile ring operating out of the pizza shop in Mystic.

COLE BEASLEY: Yup.

RTD: So basically what we need is a tagline that gets that idea across.

DTZM: As well as informs the viewer that you and Surfin’ Jack will be pretending she’s still alive in order to draw her killers out from hiding…

RTD: And expose the conspiracy.

DTZM: It’s a lot to squeeze into a quip.

RTD: Maybe we should listen to some music while we’re at it.

DTZM: Oh, I like that idea.  [raises Apple Watch to his mouth, with an exaggerated flourish so the others can see he’s able to do it with his hands full] SIRI, PLAY SOMETHING WITH A GOOD HOOK.

SIRI: ALL RIGHT.  PLAYING “HOOK” BY BLUES TRAVELER.

DTZM: Damnit, SIRI, CANCEL.  Know any songs that have a good hook?

RTD: Oh, I know a bunch.  But this is the first one that comes to mind.

Today’s theme is: “hooks”.  As defined by wikipedia, a hook is “a musical idea, often a short riff, passage, or phrase, that is used in popular music to make a song appealing and to ‘catch the ear of the listener’.”  We’re looking for songs that contain something like that – you should know it when you hear it.  Last week’s puzzle spelled out “Andie Walsh” which was, of course, a hint for “Pretty in Pink”.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=’p30P13_0n_5Tr33t5′ and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.