One of the biggest things I miss from our old site was the mock drafts that used to run every Friday. Those were fantastic time wasters, and a good one was a virtual guarantee that you were going to be far from productive at work, as your day instead degenerated into arguments with strangers over who would be the best Saturday cartoon character to have sex with, (and now we all know how that would go), or some other equally inane topic, all of which were still more important than that TPS report deadline your boss was yelling about. Good times.

Well, it’s been long enough. After a discussion in the back channels yours truly is bringing it back, with some slight rule changes. The old site had 4-5 main contributors, one of whom may not have been real. So they’d do 2-3 rounds themselves, then kick it to the kommentariat to draft whatever was left over. You can do that when you’ve only taken 10-15 of whatever topic was up for drafting. We, however, are a much more connected group when it comes to the writin’ and draftin’ of things, so if we did that we’d easily take out 30-50 before we threw the bedraggled leftovers to our beloved readership. That’s no fun. So these drafts will just leap right into it.

Also, for content and alliteration reasons, we’ve moved the draft to Monday mornings, so get ready to kill your productivity right from the start.

First come, first served, subject to my randomly assigning the first pick to someone else, generally because they came up with the idea. Or because they bribed me. For now, please wait 10 picks or 30 minutes before making another one.

This week’s topic comes from someone in the back channel. I don’t remember who. Might’ve been Zymm. I went to a wedding earlier today and I’ve had a few. I think the topic was something like “epic life goals.” My goal, right now, is finishing this next beer. And I guess this post. So we’ll need some rules, and I guess that I’ll limit that to realistic epic life goals. No matter how much you want it, you are never going to break the 2 hour mark for the marathon, not without Rosie Ruizing that shit.

I will take the first draft. At some point I would like to go to Everest Base Camp. I am realistic enough to know that every step above Base Camp would be one step closer to my inevitable doom, but I do think that, with the help of a few doughty Sherpas, my dumb ass could get to Base Camp.

That’s a hell of a view. Now, one I got to Base Camp, would I inevitably try to see how much farther I could go, tiptoeing my way up the Khumbu Ice Fall until the gods took umbrage at my hurbis and dropped half the mountain on my head.

But I’d still like to see Base Camp.

By now you should know that is now your turn