Hello there fellow DFO’er.  Hope you’re well today.  And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain.  There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t.

Some random thoughts in my head today:

• love that the LioUns have a record of 1-10-1. The programmer in me hopes that they lose next week to be 1-11-1.
• When i see Omicron, my Futurama watching comes in and I only hear “Omicron Persei 8”. yes I have issues.
• wonder how everyone is doing in the LDB challenge. I think Horatio and Sharky are out. Best of luck to thouse still in it

As a reminder, this post will cover comments made up to and through the Saturday Night Open Thread. Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post. Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.

Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.

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That week was a steaming heap of shit.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again; In a just world, Instant Hippo Thoughts would be printed in USA Today every Monday morning during the season, and slipped under every hotel room door in America.
Fronkenshteen

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“Mr. Gronkowski, we get to deny PTSD coverage to veterans, not unpatriotic cannon fodder”
Don T

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Found a funny;

2019: i work in an office
2020: i work from home
2021: i’m a nocturnal creature who grants wishes behind taco bell
rockingdog

[holds envelope to forehead]
“What is the Cleveland Browns’ mascot?”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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You get a turnover!

You get a turnover!
Sharkbait

Andy Reid runs through a wall.
litre_cola

Sharkbait

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What the shit? No Manning cast?
Sharkbait

Eli has a tummy ache from too much turkey and pumpkin pie.
Redshirt

“Yes, that’s what we’re telling people.” – Olivia Manning, holding a confiscated copy of Zoo magazine.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Going to go read, nighty night!

Gumbygirl

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So this is real, and I think I need a copy for Sharkette

Sharkbait

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We are under contract on a condo in Cathedral City (next to Palm Springs.) It was a rollercoaster! It’s a nice place. I am thrilled to have my own stuff again. It is beautiful up here, I will miss it, but it’s a vacation house. And Gumby barfs every time we go up or down the hill! He needs to be a flatlander, closer to a real hospital.
Gumbygirl

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The {Bengals] Bye Week confusion is understandable. Even if they are scheduled to play a game, that is no guarantee the Bengals will show up.
Redshirt

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How the fuck is it only Wednesday?
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Biden added another day between Monday or Tuesday in his effort to have as many opportunities to ruin this fine country before our Savior Donald Trump can restore us to the greatness that we was before he was taken from us by the Corrupt Evil Marxist Left.

Sorry, I had my car worked on over the weekend and they had Fox News on the Customer Waiting Room. I think there was some Subliminal Messaging involved.
Redshirt

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Found a funny;

Prosecutor: What were you doing at the time of the crime?

Me: Updog.

Prosecutor: Explain updog.

Me: under breath got em
rockingdog

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Wife is writing her resignation letter as I type. She hasn’t asked for my help yet so I hope it’s about her job and not about our marriage.
scotchnaut

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Goodnight!

Gumbygirl

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Taysom Hill is proof Joseph Smith was wrong.
Sharkbait

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I mean, if bathroom options now include a “Margot Robbie In Her Underwear” option then I have some remodeling to do.

https://twitter.com/why_cma/status/1465902714982854662

Horatio Cornblower(

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Last funny;

date: I don’t want to have kids after 35

me: mouthful of soup yeah 35 is plenty
rockingdog

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Hey, when Matt Stafford’s wife had a brain tumor, do you think she did her own research, or did she go to an neurosurgeon/oncologist and do whatever the fuck they told her to do.
Horatio Cornblower(

It IS probably worth doing your own research to find a decent oncologist. Some of them are just as shitty as going to Joe Rogan
Doktor Zymm

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There’s no way I’m getting through the second half without a couple of beers.

Dallas has fallen off a cliff.
Horatio Cornblower

“I blame Acme Corporation.”

-Wile E, Coyote, the desert
scotchnaut

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Parsons could be a generational player but the free whores, dysfunctional management, inevitable contract dispute, 24/7 access to horse tranquilizers and dicey doctor’s advice provided by the Cowboys pretty much guarantee he’ll flame out by the age of 27.
scotchnaut

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Hey everyone

HI

Do yourself a favor and check out the previous post if you haven’t already. It’s something.
SonOfSpam

[blushes]
[realizes you are referring to Game Time Decision’s post]
[quietly adds “SonOfSpam” to the enemies list]
[realizes it had already been added four times prior to today]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh. I meant yours. But GTD’s is great too!

I have failed, will blame my stupid job.
SonOfSpam

I did not realize there was another post after the Raiders one.

Sorry for the confusion if anyone actually followed my advice.

PLEASE READ EVERY POST THEY ARE ALL EXCELLENT!!!
SonOfSpam

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Ooh, a battle for 1st in the DFO fantasy league.

I’d say “I’m gonna beat Balls’ ass” but I don’t want him running in here all bonered up.
SonOfSpam

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My wife just referred to Jay Glazer as “that gross little meatball man”
Mother Puncher

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Found a funny;

a lot of negative shit can be said about dog breeding and what we’ve done to the majestic wolf over the centuries but the fact that english bulldogs are born with what seems to be an inherent desire to skateboard is nothing short of beautiful
rockingdog

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Sharkbait

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Redshirt

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Found a funny;

Poe: Once upon a midnight
Beastie Boys: DREARY
Poe: While I pondered,
Beastie Boys: WEAK
Poe: and
Beastie Boys: WEARY
rockingdog

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The only good thing about the NFL’s new taunting rules is that THEY DO NOT APPLY IN MY HOUSE!
[thumps chest and stares down the Dr. Mrs. after resetting the Roomba schedule and proving her wrong]
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Greetings again from MarbleCon, THE MARBLES ARE HERE.
Senor Weaselo

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rockingdog

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I need some sleep. Tomorrow we football! Well, sort of. It’s the Jaguars.

Gumbygirl

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Pitt is going off!
Gumbygirl

-Angelina Jolie, talking to the 911 operator after telling her husband she was adopting another 9 kids from Uzbekistan
SonOfSpam

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Hosting some friends for football tomorrow. Just finished the chili. I don’t know what kind of black magic fuckery happens with chili, chowder, red sauce etc, but it is ALWAYS better the next day.
Sharkbait

So is Italian food. (I think the proper term is “wop slop” but I’ll leave it to the dagos to confirm) Something about all the flavors resting together like a stripper’s stomach the morning after a gangbang good god how many beers is this
SonOfSpam

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Horatio Cornblower

THIS GIRL I CALL HER MINT JELLY BECAUSE SHE’S ON THE LAMB
SonOfSpam

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One of the Dr Pepper contestants is wearing a hijab

(college football fans react reasonably)
SonOfSpam

HIJAB GIRL WITH THE WIN!!!

Her $100,000 check has been donated to Boko Haram, praise Allah.
SonOfSpam

Also, just in case there are any Islamic people reading this blog (I hope there are!), this post is not making fun of the Islamic religion; I am making fun of those who are likely overreacting to the hijab. Like Mel Brooks in Blazing Saddles except ten million times less funny. As-salamu alaykum.
SonOfSpam

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I went out to the local sports bar emporium to watch the Wake Forest game with my brother and his girlfriend, whose sons played ball with the Wake Forest player I mentioned below. Just as the serving wench provided me with my second ale of the evening, the music purveyor began to crank up what I believe the youth call “electronic music” and the establishment began to fill with women of my daughter’s age wearing skin tight dresses and the sort of heels certain women in less-than-reputable dance hall establishments are known to wear, as well as young men of my son’s age, the latter preceded by a wall of Axe cologne that could stun a mammoth.

Realizing that I was out of my depth I consumed my ale in rapid fashion and concluded my transactions with the serving wench, before hightailing it to my home, where I intend to drink in peace and quiet, and perhaps hang myself later.

tl;dr I am old and these kids need to turn down their music and get off my lawn.
Horatio Cornblower

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Evening, ladies and gentlefucks. I am housesitting for my parents’ neighboUrs for the next several months as they drive their camper van across North America while on sabbatical. It’s sheer bliss to be out of a small basement apartment and get to live in a house with so much light… not to mention the massive TV and exceptionally comfy leather couch that I am currently lying as I flip between the Sens and the B1G title game.

Tomorrow, I test out hotboxing the backyard sauna.
The Maestro

1) Have Scotchy “meet up” with camper van
2) Live there forever
SonOfSpam

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Now that’s just total bullshit. If a QB is allowed to fake a slide and then take off again when the defense lets up, then a defender shouldn’t be Penalized for leveling a sliding QB. Can’t have it both ways.
Horatio Cornblower

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Wake Forest has a linebacker who went to high school with my kids. At Senior Night for the basketball team, (yep, he played basketball, too), they had 6 seniors, so this kid asked the coach to let the senior bench player have his start. Just a really nice kid. Who could kill me with one hand.
Horatio Cornblower

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So happy for you hitting that bet [Hippo winning 2 big bets] out of the park! Well Fucking Done!
scotchnaut

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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.

Stay busy and safe out there.

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