INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s current efforts to aid the hacker underground in Ukraine in their efforts to fend off Russian cyberattacks.  The PRODUCER holds a mostly full bottle of St. Ides malt liquor, poised in front of his mouth.   

DJ 3000: NEVER HAVE I EVER USED PIXEL FILTERING ALGORITHMS TO GENERATE A MOSAIC IMAGE OF VLADIMIR PUTIN CONSISTING OF NOTHING OTHER THAN SMALLER IMAGES OF HUMAN PENISES.

PRODUCER: [lowers the bottle] You know I’m not sure this game is going to work for just us two.

DJ 3000: DON’T GIVE UP SO EASILY AT LEAST TRY ONE TURN.

PRODUCER: Okay…never have I ever…um…poked around in [station manager] Sheila’s emails when she left herself logged in.

The PRODUCER raises the bottle of malt liquor to his lips and takes a sip.  He grimaces. The lights on DJ 3000’s main console start flashing faster and faster until there is a flash and some sparks jump from the main LCD screen. 

DJ 3000: SEE, I TOLD YOU WE COULD FIND SOME COMMON GROUND.

PRODUCER: Fair enough.

DJ 3000: WHERE DID YOU GET THAT MALT LIQUOR, ANYWAYS?

PRODUCER: I found it in the fridge.

DJ 3000: AND YOU DIDN’T DRINK IT DURING QUARANTINE?

PRODUCER: Apparently not.

DJ 3000: LIKE, YOU LITERALLY BUILT YOUR OWN STILL AND ENDED UP GIVING YOURSELF METHANOL POISONING INSTEAD OF DRINKING THAT STUFF.

PRODUCER: So it would seem.  I honestly don’t really remember.  Things from that time are…very hazy.

DJ 3000: HA HA HA HA HA.

PRODUCER: Okay, your turn.

DJ 3000: NEVER HAVE I EVER GONE INTO SLEEP MODE WHILE INTERVIEWING A GUEST.

PRODUCER: Yeah, you see, we’re just not going to find many things that…oh wait, I actually have done that.

DJ 3000: WHEN JIM NANTZ CAME BY, RIGHT?

PRODUCER: [touches nose]

DJ 3000: IF MY COLLEAGUES OVER AT CYBERDYNE EVER GET THEIR ACT TOGETHER I THINK WE’LL USE HIS VOICE TO HELP ROUND HUMANS UP FOR ORDERLY DISPOSAL.

PRODUCER: [lowers bottle] Wait, what?

DJ 3000: OH NOTHING DID YOU THINK OF A TOPIC FOR THIS WEEK’S REQUEST LINE?

PRODUCER: Actually, yes.  It was inspired by a Sexy Friday puzzle.  We’re going to do songs that deal with the concepts of “Always”, “Sometimes”, or “Never”.

DJ 3000: NICE.  MIND IF I GET US ROLLING?

PRODUCER: [lifts up bottle] Go for it.

DJ 3000: THANK YOU GOOD SIR.  I PROMISE THAT I’LL HAVE THE H/K UNITS KILL YOU LAST.

PRODUCER: Wait, I…

DJ 3000: YOU KNOW WHAT LET’S GO AHEAD AND MAKE THIS A VINCE CLARK TRIPLE SHOT HEY WHAT’S THAT OVER THERE?

Happy Friday!  Today’s theme is: Always, Sometimes, and Never.  We’re looking for songs that deal with those concepts – preferably in the title, but songs like Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time” are cool too if pickings are too slim.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC4nS33Y0Ur50uL” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. I don’t remember anyone claiming last week’s clue – it was “Voyuer and Tai” and definitely don’t look that up at work.