Hola everyone!

Welcome back to Gravy Time. I’m your humble narrator yeah right bringing you all of todays hottest hits!

We’ve got game 7’s aplenty this weekend between the NHL and the NBA so plenty-o-shit to keep you entertained this weekend. Plus you can now peruse your favorite NFL teams schedule for next season and extrapolate away as far as how you think your team will do.

Mine? Should be able to win 10 or so games next season but it still won’t matter.

Why you ask?

Because my team has a dipshit quarterback whose reluctance is only matched by his milquetoast demeanor. Motherfucker couldn’t lead a middle school marching band much less an NFL franchise so why fucking bother.

Joe Flacco likes the cut of his jib!

Then the fucker has the gall to say he wants to retire in Minnesota. Great! Fucking awesome! Hey shit-for-brains how about you go ahead and retire now if that’s your mindset?

See? Super fucking excited for the next season. Wild Card loss here we come!

You know what? I would give Baker fucking Mayfield a shot. I would! At least he’s got a little competitive fire. So what if that fire is mostly used to pound beer bongs with sorority chicks at least it’s fucking something!

Christ how the fuck did we end up like this? Oh yeah. Thanks Rick Spielman! Enjoy retirement!

WOO!

 

Aw fuck it let’s get to the food stuffs. I’m depressing myself over here.

So, corned beef again! Annual rite of passage on Sunday Gravy it is.

Going to be honest, these last two Saint Patrick’s Day observances have not had the pizazz nor panache of the previous 40 or so.

In fact it’s basically kind of fucking sucked.

Fucking pandemic man.

I’ve learned over the years that my natural born talent – apart from the cooking – is hosting. I’m practically Barliman Butterbur for Christsake.

I naturally perform and entertain at my very fucking best when I’m cooking, drinking and showing off in the kitchen.

It’s my super power.

I’ve missed the shit out of our old fairly regular family traditions/dinners. It’s gonna be even harder now with the youngest up in Washington state too.

Not that I haven’t made the best of it but when you can’t celebrate like you always have in the past? Just not the same.

This year I basically reverted back to full bachelorhood on Saint Patrick’s Day by buying a corned beef instead of my usual brine a whole brisket for days and cook for many hours thing that most of you are familiar with.

What’s the point if I’m the only one around to eat it? Plus it’s still damn tasty and even better when it’s on sale.

Then I realized, I can use this as a teaching tool. I’m sure we’ve got some bachelors out there who are wondering just what the fuck can I do with an on-sale bag of corned beef and I decided, “Fucking shit, man! I can help with that.”

This is going to be straight-up lazy ass shit too. Didn’t make my own damn bread or nuthin’.

First things first: procure your ass a bag of corned beef. Preferably one that’s on sale because if you buy that shit when it’s not on sale? Your ass is paying full brisket cost, son.

We’ve done Saint Patrick’s Day every year of the Sunday Gravy experience so let’s go ahead and do that lazy shit.

The reason we’re doing this years version so late was Saint Patrick’s Day dropped dead-ass in the middle of my close to 2 month vegetarian experiment. Wasn’t fucking easy seeing this big slab in the freezer every time I opened it while simultaneously dying for any meat-like substance.

We start the process by cooking a corned beef. Preferred method is the slow roasted oven version with a rub of mustard and a sprinkling of the seasoning packet. Wrap it in foil and cook at 325 degrees for about 3 hours.

You know what you can do while you’re waiting? You can drink things!

You’re a bachelor remember?

If you plan on drinking copious beers be sure to set a timer and maybe write yourself a reminder for why you set the goddamn timer in the first place if you really plan on hammering some coldies.

Turn on a sporting event of your choice and wait for the goodness.

That’s all there is to it.

Remove from the oven and unwrap the foil and let the meat rest for a good half hour before doing any additional fucking around.

After the meat has rested it’s time to build a proper fucking sandwich.

Grab some bread and slap some cheese on that thing!

See? No special bread. This was my regular 21 grains and seeds stuff that I have on hand at all times. The cheese though is a bit elevated from our standard “Slice of Swiss” thing. It’s an aged cheddar this time and it’s got a real nice sharp bite which paired up very well with the mustard and the corned beef.

Next layer on some slices of that lovely corned beef. 

Chunky slices are fine as long as you let the meat rest and you cooked it till it’s proper tenderness.

Of course you’re going to need some mustard, I mean, come on.

That’s a nice spicy brown affair and it’s got a good tang.

For proper presentation give the sandwich a slice right down the middle.

See? That’s sexy enough!

Goddamn delicious too. There’s a reason why corned beef, cheese and mustard is a classic sandwich. It’s flawless!

Another thing we can make with corned beef?

You know it well.

Hash brother.

Let’s make some corned beef hash.

Of course we’ve made hash here before. That link is from all the way back in 2016.

Anyone remember 2016? Anyone?

Me neither.

First thing to do is pre-cook a potato. I baked this one.

Hell man, you can do this a day ahead if you want.

The most important player in the hash slinging game? That would be Ol’ Bessie!

Sure a non-stick pan would work. It would be fine but I like to get a real nice crust on the hash. That’s where the good stuff lies.

Take your pre-baked potato and cube it up. Your choice if you want to leave the skin on. I’m fine either way.

Our next ingredient is a fire roasted red pepper.

I’ve got these around a lot more these days since one of my weekly vegetarian soups in my soup rotation uses them. That would be for our Southwest style vegetable soup. Not coincidentally that was the soup being made the same day as I made the hash.

Add a couple of tablespoons of butter and maybe 1 tablespoon of cooking oil into Bessie. When the pan is nice and heated over a medium flame add in the peppers and some diced onion.

Cook for 4-5 minutes to soften and incorporate.

Take out the leftover corned beef that you made yesterday…You did have some leftover right? That was a big fucking slab of meat, man. There better be some left.

Cube it up and get it in the pan next.

Saute a bit until the meat starts to heat through and smell delicious then add in the potatoes and some minced garlic, say 4 cloves or so. I like to sprinkle my hash with some salt, pepper and a little essence.

At this point I mix everything together then take out a plate that’s smaller in circumference than the skillet and press down over the hash.

Now, just leave it the fuck alone.

Give it a turn after about 7 minutes or so.

Replace the plate over the hash and set a timer for 7 additional minutes.

At this time grab a second pan and prepare it for your eggs.

There will be eggs.

Some melted butter should work here just fine.

I like to crack all of my eggs into a single small bowl. You’ve seen this trick before.

You also know that I never flip my eggs. I cover them. Cook for just a couple of minutes until the white is slightly cooked but the eggs are a delightful sunny-side up.

How’s the hash doing?

Very nice. The crust is looking better now.

Season the eggs to your liking.

And plate the hash.

THAT’S the crust shit I was talking about. That’s the good stuff.

As always, the eggs go on top.

Just slide all of the contents of the egg pan right over the hash.

Please tell me that you’re not worried about the excess cooking butter dribbling over the hash.

We’ve come too far together by now.

Toast up a slice or two of bread – hey look! That’s the same bread we used for our sandwich! How fucking easy is that?

I know I might be biased since I learned to cook at a fairly young age but any grown-ass man should know how to make a proper breakfast.

Period.

No goddamn excuses. It’s cheap, quick, easy and delicious. Not to mention it’s pretty goddamn simple to clean up too.

The only downside?

All that work produced a plate that you will probably inhale in approximately 2 minutes. It really is that good.

I kind of like the quick and easy tutorial thing. This is fun. Maybe next week I’ll show you how to cook frozen fishsticks!

Note: I will not be making fishsticks next week.

Anyone can do this. And you can get real shitty drunk at the same time!

Maybe don’t use the oven if you’re really shitty drunk. Just sayin’.

While the last two Saint Patrick’s Days were not the family gathering hootenanny that they used to be it doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy a corned beef does it?

Here’s to hoping we can have family around next March 17th.

We’ll see.

Appreciate you good folks. Truly.

I really do have a fun one for you next week. A slight departure from the usual but I think you’ll like it. I KNOW you’ll like the results.

Stay safe and have a great rest of your Sunday.

Until next week.

PEACE!