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A Selection of Phrases from Aussie Footy Broadcasts That Are Confusing, Bizarre, Hilarious, or Just Plain Dirty

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Banner Photo Credit: Perth News

 

A Selection of Phrases from (recent-ish) Aussie Footy Broadcasts That Are Confusing, Bizarre, Hilarious, or Just Plain Dirty*:

Sell a little candy

Bit of a Meal of It

Sidebottom with the banana

Out of Tickets

Here Comes The Fist

Suddenly it’s end to end

Fishtowning beautifully

Had a bit of a fresh airy

That makes 4 Demon behinds

Cox now into the pocket

Rushes it out the back

To give people a real buzz before they get their pie

Tightening at the Gabba

Great hand work

Holding the ball

Holding the man

Producing good numbers in the waffle

Balls and others can/should add gems they’ve heard that I haven’t included here.

*Apologies/Credit to WhyEaglesWhy for stealing his bit

 

 

 

 

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, I was kind of surprised the AFL also uses the term “bye week.” I kind of expected something random like “resting matches” or “heal-os” or something goofy.

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BeefReeferLives

Hmm. The fourth and the fifth ones are the corporate motto for TicketBastard;

Out of Tickets

Here Comes The Fist

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BeefReeferLives

Well, looks like Texas has just outlawed future performances of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Pity, that…

“Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) quietly signed the state’s Senate Bill 12 into law June 18. His office did not immediately respond to a request for comment.

The measure, slated to take effect September 1, prohibits businesses from hosting “sexually oriented” performances in which someone… appeals to the “prurient interest in sex” in the presence of minors. Those who break the law are likely to face hefty fines — up to $10,000 per violation.”

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WCS

comment image

OH BULLFUCKING SHIT HE DID I’MMA HAVE THAT PECKERDICK STRUNG UP AND TORN TO PIECES ON THE FIFTY FUCKING YARD LINE JUST BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN I AM FUCKIN CRAZY YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW

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BeefReeferLives

“Psst. It’s OK, Jerr! We’re just using the law to go after them homersexuals! Your personal harem is safe.”
-Greg

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SonOfSpam

To give people a real buzz before they get their pie

Why there is always cocaine at Kristen Stewart’s parties

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SonOfSpam

Had a bit of a fresh airy

Response from Meghan Markle as to why she keeps picking ginger from her teeth

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cox now into the pocket

– Kellen Winslow Jr.’s internal monologue as he pulls into a grocery store parking lot

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That makes 4 Demon behinds

– Nick Saban, translating performance reviews into layoffs

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ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a helluva corkie!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Gotta keep your head down over the ball!

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WCS

But, enough of what you yell on the golf course and in the bedroom.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Ball up!

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ballsofsteelandfury

Swallow hard into the contest!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Each and everyone of these insurrectionists should have a special plaque with the words “Donald Trump could have pardoned you, and it wouldn’t have cost him a single penny.” hung above the exit to their cells, Notre Dame style.

https://www.msnbc.com/andrea-mitchell-reports/watch/jan-6-rioter-who-used-stun-gun-on-officer-fanone-sentenced-to-12-5-years-183830597510

Excluding Ashli Babbit, of course, who should have it etched into her tombstone.

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WCS

Only if they have to touch it as the they walk past every time.

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Brick Meathook

comment image

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BeefReeferLives

Well, at least asphyxiation is a fairly painless way to go…

0
BugEyedBoo

Speaking of subs and old geezers sexy senior citizens, a mystery is solved. You remember these in the comic books:

NuclearSubComicsAd.jpg
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BugEyedBoo

This is what you got:

submariner.jpg
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Honestly for $7 that is still a pretty great deal.

3
Gumbygirl

Gumby wants one! I have a picture of him somewhere absolutely stuffed into an Indy car, it’s hilarious. He couldn’t get half a butt cheek in this thing.

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BugEyedBoo

I’m holding out for those X-Ray Specs.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Creep.” – Erin Andrews

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BugEyedBoo

Male gaze, baby!

xray.jpg
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Brick Meathook

I actually bought the little spy camera but it never worked.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

It only worked if you were a real spy

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Gumbygirl

.

spy-spy-vs-spy.gif
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Mr. Ayo

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Sharkbait

The more I read about that submarine, the more surprised I am anybody went in that thing willingly.

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Brick Meathook

The more I read about it the more appalled I am. This was a piece of shit with a piece of shit crew from a piece of shit company. I would not have set foot in this if it was parked on dry land inside a building.

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BugEyedBoo

I guess it shows you can’t rely on, “It has to be safe; the owner is riding in it.”

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Sharkbait

The only door opened from the outside! I thought we collectively learned that lesson from Apollo1 for fucks sake!

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Brick Meathook

Even if they got to the surface but weren’t yet found they could suffocate inside it.

4
Sharkbait

Not to mention the thing is painted white, which blends in to the white caps in a rolling ocean.

1
Downfield Matriculator

Suddenly its end to end

— Hemingway’s Movie Review of The Human Centipede

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Downfield Matriculator

Also works for That makes 4 Demon Behinds

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fishtowning beautifully

– Tom Brady describing his post-divorce dating life

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Suddenly it’s end to end

– Fedex Field groundskeepers describing the ongoing crabgrass infestation in light of their budget cutbacks during the final year of Dan Snyder’s ownership

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Here Comes The Fist

– LeGarrette Blount to Byron Hout following Oregon’s loss to Boise State

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Out of Tickets

– a police officer coming up with a nonsensical justification as to why Britt Reid was waved through a police checkpoint without performing a sobriety check

1
WCS

We would have accepted, “Morganhole Police Department’s reasoning why Bob Huggins went 16 years without a DUI in our jurisdiction.”

1
BugEyedBoo

My wife worked at Hills in Morgantown, a couple of miles away from campus. She says they had a standing order to not pester the football players when they came to shoplift.

As smashed as Bob Huggins was, the cops could/should have escorted him around town like he was a one-car funeral procession.

0
Gumbygirl

He was DUI ing in Pittsburgh, not Morgantown. That was his first mistake.

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WCS

Or Columbus, according to Huggins himself.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sidebottom with the banana

“Oh, no, I won’t be making that oratorical mistake again…” – Howard Cosell

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Downfield Matriculator

When the Paaarity’s Oooover!

— Dandy Don Meredith, after his fifth bourbon and water

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bit of a Meal of It

“Tell me more…” – Kelvin Benjamin

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Sell a little candy

“Oh, great, another one of those fundraisers where we have to swoop in and give Eli a six-week advance on his allowance because he was getting high on his own supply…” – Olivia Manning

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