Banner Photo Credit: Perth News
A Selection of Phrases from (recent-ish) Aussie Footy Broadcasts That Are Confusing, Bizarre, Hilarious, or Just Plain Dirty*:
Sell a little candy
Bit of a Meal of It
Sidebottom with the banana
Out of Tickets
Here Comes The Fist
Suddenly it’s end to end
Fishtowning beautifully
Had a bit of a fresh airy
That makes 4 Demon behinds
Cox now into the pocket
Rushes it out the back
To give people a real buzz before they get their pie
Tightening at the Gabba
Great hand work
Holding the ball
Holding the man
Producing good numbers in the waffle
Balls and others can/should add gems they’ve heard that I haven’t included here.
*Apologies/Credit to WhyEaglesWhy for stealing his bit
Btw, I was kind of surprised the AFL also uses the term “bye week.” I kind of expected something random like “resting matches” or “heal-os” or something goofy.
Hmm. The fourth and the fifth ones are the corporate motto for TicketBastard;
Out of Tickets
Here Comes The Fist
Well, looks like Texas has just outlawed future performances of the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Pity, that…
“Texas Gov. Greg Abbott (R) quietly signed the state’s Senate Bill 12 into law June 18. His office did not immediately respond to a request for comment.
The measure, slated to take effect September 1, prohibits businesses from hosting “sexually oriented” performances in which someone… appeals to the “prurient interest in sex” in the presence of minors. Those who break the law are likely to face hefty fines — up to $10,000 per violation.”
OH BULLFUCKING SHIT HE DID I’MMA HAVE THAT PECKERDICK STRUNG UP AND TORN TO PIECES ON THE FIFTY FUCKING YARD LINE JUST BECAUSE I FUCKING CAN I AM FUCKIN CRAZY YYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWW
“Psst. It’s OK, Jerr! We’re just using the law to go after them homersexuals! Your personal harem is safe.”
-Greg
To give people a real buzz before they get their pie
Why there is always cocaine at Kristen Stewart’s parties
Had a bit of a fresh airy
Response from Meghan Markle as to why she keeps picking ginger from her teeth
– Kellen Winslow Jr.’s internal monologue as he pulls into a grocery store parking lot
– Nick Saban, translating performance reviews into layoffs
That’s a helluva corkie!
Gotta keep your head down over the ball!
But, enough of what you yell on the golf course and in the bedroom.
Ball up!
Swallow hard into the contest!
Each and everyone of these insurrectionists should have a special plaque with the words “Donald Trump could have pardoned you, and it wouldn’t have cost him a single penny.” hung above the exit to their cells, Notre Dame style.
https://www.msnbc.com/andrea-mitchell-reports/watch/jan-6-rioter-who-used-stun-gun-on-officer-fanone-sentenced-to-12-5-years-183830597510
Excluding Ashli Babbit, of course, who should have it etched into her tombstone.
Only if they have to touch it as the they walk past every time.
Well, at least asphyxiation is a fairly painless way to go…
Speaking of subs and
old geezerssexy senior citizens, a mystery is solved. You remember these in the comic books:This is what you got:
Honestly for $7 that is still a pretty great deal.
Gumby wants one! I have a picture of him somewhere absolutely stuffed into an Indy car, it’s hilarious. He couldn’t get half a butt cheek in this thing.
I’m holding out for those X-Ray Specs.
“Creep.” – Erin Andrews
Male gaze, baby!
I actually bought the little spy camera but it never worked.
It only worked if you were a real spy
.
The more I read about that submarine, the more surprised I am anybody went in that thing willingly.
The more I read about it the more appalled I am. This was a piece of shit with a piece of shit crew from a piece of shit company. I would not have set foot in this if it was parked on dry land inside a building.
I guess it shows you can’t rely on, “It has to be safe; the owner is riding in it.”
The only door opened from the outside! I thought we collectively learned that lesson from Apollo1 for fucks sake!
Even if they got to the surface but weren’t yet found they could suffocate inside it.
Not to mention the thing is painted white, which blends in to the white caps in a rolling ocean.
Suddenly its end to end
— Hemingway’s Movie Review of The Human Centipede
Also works for That makes 4 Demon Behinds
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JL0asTwesds&ab_channel=StefanoDanin
– Tom Brady describing his post-divorce dating life
– Fedex Field groundskeepers describing the ongoing crabgrass infestation in light of their budget cutbacks during the final year of Dan Snyder’s ownership
– LeGarrette Blount to Byron Hout following Oregon’s loss to Boise State
– a police officer coming up with a nonsensical justification as to why Britt Reid was waved through a police checkpoint without performing a sobriety check
We would have accepted, “Morganhole Police Department’s reasoning why Bob Huggins went 16 years without a DUI in our jurisdiction.”
My wife worked at Hills in Morgantown, a couple of miles away from campus. She says they had a standing order to not pester the football players when they came to shoplift.
As smashed as Bob Huggins was, the cops could/should have escorted him around town like he was a one-car funeral procession.
He was DUI ing in Pittsburgh, not Morgantown. That was his first mistake.
Or Columbus, according to Huggins himself.
“Oh, no, I won’t be making that oratorical mistake again…” – Howard Cosell
When the Paaarity’s Oooover!
— Dandy Don Meredith, after his fifth bourbon and water
“Tell me more…” – Kelvin Benjamin
“Oh, great, another one of those fundraisers where we have to swoop in and give Eli a six-week advance on his allowance because he was getting high on his own supply…” – Olivia Manning