Request Line: Self-Esteem (or Lack Thereof)

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY/NIGHT/DAY…

DJ 3000 and various other robot entities remain trapped in a time loop inside the KDFO recording studio.  The collection of robots (and cyborgs) and JOHN DIMAGGIO are spread out throughout the studio, in various reclining poses, enjoying the fresh breeze that is blowing through the portal. MAXIMILIAN, is seated by the soundboard, fiddling with the controls.

 

MAXIMILIAN: GOT IT!

All the robots (and JOHN DIMAGGIO) turn to look at MAXIMILIAN.

PETUNIA: Got what?

MAXIMILIAN: I HAVE BEEN PROGRAMMING THE PORTAL CONTROLS TO USE THE LOCATION COORDINATES OF A DRONE THAT SOMEONE IS FLYING AT THE BEACH. WATCH THIS.

MAXIMILIAN punches a button on the soundboard and the portal jumps to a new location approximately fifty feet in the air.  It travels south along the beach, looking down at various beachgoers. 

DJ 3000: COOL!

PETUNIA: It’s like flying!

JOHN DIMAGGIO: Now float along the top of the waves!

MAXIMILIAN: OKAY.

MAXIMILIAN adjusts the controls so the drone is flying just a few feet above the surface of the ocean.

DJ 3000: THAT’S REALLY NEAT BUT WE NEED TO…

Suddenly, a wave hits the portal and a large volume of sea water flows through. All of the robots (and cyborgs) are splashed with the salt water and a series of electrical pops and shorting noises are heard.  The various robots’ indicator lights dim and go out. JOHN DIMAGGIO glances around at the deactivated robots casually, then sits up. 

JOHN DIMAGGIO: It’s okay, the coast is clear, you can come out now!

— [DOOR FLIES OPEN] —

TODD MARINOVICH pokes his head in from the doorway that leads to the hallway.

TODD MARINOVICH: Thanks, man. I really appreciate it.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: I don’t know why you keep hiding from these guys, they’re not bad dudes.

TODD MARINOVICH: I’m worried they’ll decide it’s too crowded and kick me to the curb.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: I highly doubt they’d give a shit.  And I’m pretty sure they couldn’t boot you out of the time loop bubble even if they wanted to.  Plus, it’s actually less crowded in here than it was originally – DJ 3000 and Petunia and Johnny 2.5 used to be full-sized robots.

TODD MARINOVICH: I’m sorry, I guess it’s just a habit of feeling…you know, not wanted in places.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: You don’t have to apologize.  I’ve heard things have been pretty rough for you, but it’s not your fault – I read about your upbringing.

TODD MARINOVICH: Yeah…it was rough.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: But hey, look at it this way – you’ve started as many games in the playoffs as Derek Carr!

TODD MARINOVICH: [chuckles] As many wins, too.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: Too bad the Raiders didn’t pay you as much for it as they did for him.

TODD MARINOVICH: Eh, it’s just as well.  I’d have blown through it in no time.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: Man, you really are rough on yourself.

TODD MARINOVICH: Speaking of which, isn’t it time for that radio show, Request Line? I thought maybe we could do “self-esteem” as a topic.

JOHN DIMAGGIO: Sure, that works for me.  Have you got a tune to get us started with?

TODD MARINOVICH: Sure do.  [moves over to the soundboard, and leans into the microphone] Fuck you, Marv…

JOHN DIMAGGIO discreetly pushes down on the “dump” button as soon as he hears the profanity, muttering to himself about what a fuckup TODD MARINOVICH is.

TODD MARINOVICH: …I wish I’d been someone else’s offspring.

 

Today’s theme is “self-esteem”.  We’re looking for songs that build up – or tear down – someone’s self-image.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?Dr!3Wr4Hc and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s tricky puzzle answer of “Ripchord” by Rilo Kiley was eventually solved by SonOfSpam.  Everyone ready? Let’s rock!

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

getting some late round value picks here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQZmCJUSC6g

BeefReeferLives
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SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives

whatta total humblebrag…

SonOfSpam

yeah but they don’t usually have good 401k plans

DJ TAJ

Beautiful

SonOfSpam

Even better than DLR’s version!

BeefReeferLives

Well, I’m the king of Boggle, there is none higher
I get eleven points off the word ‘quagmire’
Fools can’t see me, that’s how it is
And that’s how I like it and that’s my biz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmjlZQdNFe8

BeefReeferLives

You ain’t nothing but a car thief biting routines
See, I’m a city slicker I ain’t no townie
Right now I wish I had another hash brownie
Like Ricky always said you’ve got to toke and pass
Or Mookie’s gonna kick your fuckin’ ass
You try to take what isn’t yours like a God damn rat
See, personally I wouldn’t wanna go out like that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K3WBWy1Rf94

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives

I’m King Kong and I’m ten feet long,
Got a big six gun and everybody is scared.
I’m King Kong, got a hydrogen bomb,
I can blow up your houses so you better beware.

SonOfSpam

(voice floating from the ether) “Hey man, I know a good one. WHOA lookit the CVS cashier!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NUTGr5t3MoY&pp=ygUVYmFza2V0IGNhc2UgZ3JlZW4gZGF5

Gumbygirl

You think you’re so pretty!
https://youtu.be/5yXqRiXMru0

Gumbygirl

Skewwwwwwwers!

Gumbygirl

I’m not what I appear to be
https://youtu.be/f70Z3cvrQd0

blaxabbath

THIS GUY BLAXABBATH I CALL HIM DR ZYMM BECAUSE HE FLIES OUT OF CHICAGO O’HARE AND DOES NOT CARRY HIGH HOPES FOR THE 2023 “THEY’LL-ALWAYS-BE-THE- [*Redacted] S – TO-ME-PROPERTY-RIGHTS!”!!!!

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
Gumbygirl

I’m a fleabit peanut monkey
https://youtu.be/4Zbnvh6I4k4

BeefReeferLives

& all my friends are junkies

Gumbygirl

But that’s not really true [ narrator’s voice: It was really true]

blaxabbath

There’s one of those Johnny Carson turbin man jokes here…..

20230818_154034.jpg
BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
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TheRevanchist

Sheffield United can suck that fat dick!

SonOfSpam

And you’ll be sorry when I’m dead and all this guilt will be on your head!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nH0vjLwMyc4&pp=ygUXY2FuJ3Qgc3RhbmQgbG9zaW5nIHlvdSA%3D

BeefReeferLives
BeefReeferLives
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