God, this offseason just will not end. I cannot wait for Hippo Thoughts to move in here every Monday through the off-season, and not just because it’s always funny, to the extent I understand any of it.
Disturbingly, I am getting to the point that I understand most of it. Probably not a good sign.
Anyway, the point is that
coming up with a topic for a draft every week. I mean, it’s not coal mining or anything, but for a dainty-ass lawyer-type like myself, all this typing is giving me calluses on my fingertips, and the thinkin’ part is giving me debilitating headaches, the same kid my clientele usually doles out in low-speed accidents.
Last week we went full-on lowbrow, essentially drafting women with nice asses, with the occasional pork butt thrown in. This week we’re doing a quick 180 and going highbrow:
Works of Art.
That’s right, is it’s a painting, or a sculpture, it is eligible for this week’s draft. Yes, there are other forms of art, but I might need them for next offseason so don’t give me any shit, OK? AND DO NOT DRAFT EMILY RATA..RAJA…RAKA
LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, OK!? JUST DON’T. I WILL TURN THIS CAR AROUND SO FAST!!!
-ahem-
/assumes docent’s voice
With the first pick, I shall select Van Gogh’s ‘Starry Night’
I love this painting. It’s just so cool. I had a joke in here about how that girl should have taken one for the team and married Van Gogh so he wouldn’t cut off his ear and eventually kill himself, but apparently there wasn’t a girl involved, it was an incident over a possible debt and Vincent being generally, I believe the correct term here is ‘fucking batshit crazy,’ and the confusion stems from him later having the ear packaged up and sent to a brothel.
As one does.
On that happy note, the draft is open. The rules are noted above. Your commissioner is Vincent Van Gogh, of course.
Go ahead, piss him off. He’s got a razor blade and he’s already down one ear. He’s got nothing to lose.
The first pick is already made. The rest of you are on the clock. All artwork in the post is available, including the featured image, except Starry Night.
Keeping the Chicago and Spain only thing going, I guess, I’ll close out with Dali’s the Persistence of Memory
The lack of naked ladies is what caused this Dali painting to slide into such a late slot.
Saved the best for last:
When I saw this in person, it left a huge impression. El Entierro del Conde de Orgaz by El Greco
The Mondrian below reminded me of this. Another favorite. Broadway boogie woogie
Kehinde Wiley’s portrait of President Obama. It’s awesome and can be an immediate litmus test for guests.
That’s a great pick. I saw it in person and was pleasantly surprised by how arresting it was.
Mark Rothko Paint-By Numbers Kit
(RIP Doghouse Reilly)
Piet Mondrian was the first and best.
Ernst Haas
La Suerte de Capa, Pamplona, Spain 1956
Route 66, Albuquerque, New Mexico 1969
Reflection, Revolving Door, NY 1975
W. Eugene Smith
Last(ish) pick, The Kramer
The George one on the red couch makes me laugh
All this draft is doing is confirming what a bunch of high class reprobates we are. We may make dick jokes, but they’re high brow dick jokes.
“He’s bad, but he’ll die. So, I like it”
The Scream by Munch.
I love this for the surrealism, inner pain expressed by the main image, as well as the fact that the Krakatoa eruption was so severe it discolored the sky as far away as Norway leading to the inspiration of this work.
Last pick, I’ll take Vermeer because giving a girl a pearl earring is a much more difficult feat than the more commonplace necklace.
https://youtu.be/FxKZeR2v6Q4
Neato – thanks for posting!
Pick the Fourth: Vigo the Carpathian
Wiki says it’s a response to Titian’s Venus of Urbino.
Love the inclusion of the black cat
1,2,3,4…
5. A personal favorite of mine, Seascape by Gerhard Richter.
For Horatio:
Would’ve worked well in last week’s draft, too.
Pretty clearly skipped leg day, but still possibly the greatest sculpture of all time.
Ms. Favre, you can’t stay here all night. We need you to move it along.
Magritte caught hell for this-the actual title is The Treachery of Images.
Wish I’d remembered to pick this
“Naked Chick On A Clam” is solid late round value
That’s almost as good as my first pick, The Gummy Di Milo.
so why can’t we edit comments any more? Did Elon buy DFO?
THANKS OBAMA!!
My 6th round and final selection… Frank…
Jeff Koons, for this insane sculpture of Michael Jackson and Bubbles
The chimp wouldn’t hold still that long, so they had a small boy sit on his lap all day.
(nawt true far as i know)
“It’s just a lovely flower!” Yeah right, Georgia. [rolls eyes]
Gumby chooses Bob Ross and his happy little trees
MC Escher’s studies in perspective still fascinate me..
Canadian content time! Alex Coville was amazing.