It’s mid-Summer, which can only mean one thing: revisiting the Age of Sail! That’s right, bitches– in the absence of serious hockey, basketball and Tuesday football, oceans are now battlefields!

Currently I am listening to a biography of Commodore Stephen Decatur and reading a delightful account of the Seven Years War (French and Indian War for those of us in the States), including the sad story of Admiral John Byng.

It’s a fascinating story about a weak-minded admiral, the Rule of Unintended Consequences, political ass-covering and the role of ego in world history. Seriously, if George II wasn’t so pissed at Pitt the Elder, maybe Byng wouldn’t have been shot on his own quarterdeck.

Voltaire was being snide when he talked about the British occasionally shooting an admiral “to encourage the others,” but there is a fair argument it worked.

I’d like to pretend that my descent into Middle Aged White Dadness is a recent development, but I’ve been this way since college. It truly is a miracle I found a spouse.

TANGENT: you can see the HMS Surprise (nee Rose) in San Diego! Or if you are on the East Coast, the Tall Ship Lynx sails regularly.

NFL NEWS:

-After news broke that Dak Prescott had a mild foot sprain, I proclaimed that this was going to end with an amputation. Lo, Dak was spotted wearing a walking boot on vacation while insisting that it is a “precautionary measure” and that there is “absolutely nothing” wrong with him. Because who among us doesn’t occasionally hobble around wearing durable medical equipment for funsies?

-Jaguar Josh Allen is now Josh Harris-Allen. Which is good, because Josh Allen getting sacked by Josh Allen was both confusing and sucky.

WHAT’S ON TONIGHT:

Argentina! Canada! When these two classic rivals take the field, throw out the records!

Mostly because they’ve only ever played twice. And Argentina has been dominant.

Still! Team Canada (the Mounties?) has looked better since their opening group stage loss to Argentina. Really, these countries should be allies- a polar disposition, excellent steak cultures, etc. Alas, fate has made them bitter enemies.