INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
Guest producer HUNTER RENFROW is seated in front of the soundboard, looking glum. DJ 3000 looks on with an appearance of concern as HUNTER listlessly toys with a few figurines.
DJ 3000: HEY BUDDY, WHAT’S WRONG? STILL FEELING DOWN ABOUT RENFROCO?
HUNTER RENFROW: Huh? Oh, no. We’re in the middle of training camp and I was thinking about how so many of the guys I used to play Guardians and Gladiators with are no longer around.
[he pushes a figure forward.] Johnathan Abram…
HUNTER RENFROW: …Derek Car…
HUNTER RENFROW: …Coach Whisenhunt…
DJ 3000: YEAH, THAT’S A BUMMER. KOLTON MILLER IS STILL AROUND THOUGH, ISN’T HE?
HUNTER RENFROW: Yeah, but he’s too busy bulking up for the season. He doesn’t have time to play G&G right now.
DJ 3000: WELL HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS? WHY DON’T *I* PLAY WITH YOU? I CAN SIMULATE ANY KIND OF DIE THAT WE NEED! I’VE EVEN GOT MY OWN FIGURINE!
A panel on DJ 3000 opens up and a small tray extends, revealing…
HUNTER RENFROW: Um…huh. I’m not entirely sure how I’ll be able to work a Centurion from Battlestar Galactica into the milieu, but…the bigger problem is that I never figured out how the gameplay actually works.
DJ 3000: OH.
HUNTER RENFROW: Yeah, it turns out inventing a tabletop game is hard. But part of the fun was just getting together with the guys and trying to work it out.
DJ 3000: THAT IS A SHAME. IF IT HELPS, I TOO KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE SEPARATED FROM FAMILIAR FACES AND SURROUNDED BY WHOLE NEW ONES.
HUNTER RENFROW: Oh, because you’re an alternate timeline version of the real DJ 3000?
The camera zooms out from DJ 3000, then zooms back in on him again.
DJ 3000: WAIT, WHAT? YOU KNEW?
HUNTER RENFROW: The missing buttons – and changes to the switches – were a dead giveaway. You think I didn’t dine out on those “Spot the Differences” placemats once a week when I was a kid? But we’ll talk about that in a minute, we’ve got some tunes to play. I thought this week we’d do songs about the kind of stuff you’d find in Guardians and Gladiators.
DJ 3000: So…songs about dungeons and dragons?
HUNTER RENFROW: Yeah. And goblins and orcs and dwarves and stuff like that. Anything you’d find in the Monster Manual or the Fiend Folio. Why don’t you get us started with a little song about beasts and dragons?
Today’s theme is “Guardians and Gladiators”. We’re looking for any song that references the concepts of Dungeons & Dragons. Songs about dragons, battle axes, paladins, elves, etc. are all fair game. We’ve done “magic” before though so while songs about sorcery aren’t explicitly off-limits maybe try to limit your selections in that realm to ones that fit the D&D motif. Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?PuNtL3g0l4s and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. Last week’s puzzle answer of “Ruby Soho” by Rancid was solved by NOBODY because it was too fiendishly difficult. Adventure awaits!
I think the entire catalog of Man-o-War would be at home here
OK, after scrolling I see that I am blair witching 2pack but I do feel validated
“https://youtu.be/MUKHQBtxwDo?si=hLs5RgqalWbNB6tQ
Goddammit, how the fuck do you post videos
https://youtu.be/MUKHQBtxwDo?si=hLs5RgqalWbNB6tQ
OK, why the quotation mark then?
Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?PuNtL3g0l4s
Ahh, well, now I gotta figure out posting pics
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DMUKHQBtxwDo&ved=2ahUKEwjc0vzqh_uHAxVRJEQIHTRtGBoQwqsBegQIJBAF&usg=AOvVaw3ZNtZKUun563w8El9XNJY9
OK, I did not link to the cult… or the cure. Am I being fucked with?
OK, I have no idea what’s going on and I’m not even high. I swear, I posted a video link, and it finally worked and was Manohar, the came back and it was the cult, and the refreshed and it was back to Manohar. I gotta screenshot this shit for my own sanity. Goddammit
Manowar. What the fuck does autocorrect think Manohar is? Fuck. Anyways, good talk everyone
Oh I can’t see how that would pose any problems in the modern NFL.
“Don’t worry, I’ve got it.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnyxEz4l70Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQSNLLRT1x0
Awesome
Whelp, I’m out. Thanks for the fun, RTD!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJRXeYGwzv4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDC8bsSsqOo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5fHUDXf7QnU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vNe8jk7Ooo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTxK_otwEFo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MmZSeHLu8ew
http://www.thebadguyswin.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/11/09.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1WaV2x8GXj0
https://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/Ring_of_Fire_(5e_Equipment)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hq369pWcDZM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vhG8zC4npsE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rF2BZqTYTcE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnMXfHYqTRk
Goddamn poisoned needles in the locks of treasure chests…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0t0EW6z8a0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4dk-kNxTB4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cepNuZxfVH4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4szSbWr1SV4