A Week After the Storm – Footy Abundance Thread

Last week, we had the titanic clashes.  King’s Afrikan Water Pistols trying to hang onto an incredible win at City of Men – who were on what seemed to be the world’s longest, dry power play.  Somehow, they found the equalizer at the very death, but Arsenal still boast the momentum.  In Hippo’s view, the Title is now Handsome Mikel’s to lose.

We also got treated to an absolutely insane-even-by-JV-NFL-standards Georgia/Alabama classic.  Words fail to describe matters.

And this week, we come down a little bit.  The footy gods will have to surprise us with anything anywhere in the vicinity of September’s denounement.

We skip right over the early bird, which is nice given the fairly interesting Friday night JV titls.  Ipswich away to hammers (10:00, USA) gets surprisingly broadcast, with City/Whitey being the best streaming option (Peacock).  Pep’s men are fully on “shock result” watch here, as everything sets up great for the White Men (apart from the match being at the Etihad).  The aforementioned Pistoleros will get to pad their goal differental, home to dreadful Sham Town (also Peacock).

Weirest Spotlight Dance of the season (to date), Very Disappointing But Maybe Survivable Everton hosting ugly motherfucker Anthony Gordon (12:30, NBC).  I mean seriously – they must have had to bribe the family dog to lick that ass-looking face of his.  But Geordie Arabia should still win rather easily.

Everyone’s favoUrite parlor game on Sunday!  Watch to see if Erik ten Hag finally gets the sack, away to Villa (9:00, USA).  These sides both played midweek, to varying vibes.  Villa re-did their 1982 European final performance, with a 1-nil win over Bear Team.  In Shempions proper.  Whereas Men Untied made it 2-for-2 in Zooropa play, but in slapdick Draws (this time to Porto).

Trashbirds/Spurs will carry you into RedZone time (11:30, USA), but as we all know – early morning Euro-NFL fixture means a MANDATORY 14-hour watch on Sunday.  So get your mutiple devices set up before slumber.

Missouri (+2.5) at Bonfire Cult (Noon, ABC)

Hippo’s acknowledged SEC bias aside – this is mighty interesting.  Mizzou has been walking a tightrope, narrowly avoiding embarrassing home losses to BC and even Vandy.  But undefeated, they remain.  But not at all with last year’s momentum, which they need to piece together post haste.  TAMU is always an intimidating home environment, and they have steadied the ship after their no-show opener against the Domers.  Somebody could seriously come undone as a result of this fixture.

SMU (+6.5) at Lousiville (Noon, ESPN)

Here’s your moneyline special – this is no worse than a toss-up, and it’s priced as a 2-for-1 profit.  Death By SMU-SMU is the better squadron, and Louisville is MOAR genteel than imposing, as a gameday environment.

Iowa (+18.5) at THEEEE Ohio State Yada Yada (3:30, CBS)

This stands out only because the Treenuts made it all the way until 5 October before playing anyone with so much as a pulse.  Still, though.  It’s just Team Cornpone and their usual shittastrophe of an offensing unit.  With less nepotism this year, at least.

Auburn (+22) at Georgia (3:30, ABC)

Boy howdy, have the trajectories of these two (somewhat unheralded, in rivalry terms) diverged in the wood over the past decade.  Georgia will be pissed off after last week, and War Damn Eagle has best lube up beforehand.

Ole Miss (-9) at South Cakalaky (3:30, ESPN)

Finally, a road favoUrite, and a shaky one at that.  Humbled at home last week by Kenfucky, Johnny Reb will try to get their season/playoff hopes back on track.  They can’t afford another slip up, and this matchup could prove tricky to navigate.  Suspect Johnny Reb pastes Cocky, or loses outright.  No middle ground.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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ballsofsteelandfury

VANDY IS PEOPLE!!

litre_cola
clint greasewood
  • Alabama vs Vanderbilt Point Spread: Alabama -23.5, Vanderbilt +23.5
  • Alabama vs Vanderbilt Moneyline: Alabama -2400, Vanderbilt +1180
  • Alabama vs Vanderbilt Total: Over/Under 53.5 points
WCS

Aww, thanks, BLEERGH!