GHOSTS ON THE GROUND: CEMETERY-4

Define opulent.

Hey, what’s that kid doing to that chicken?

Only one goal today.

Jump in the Honda and traverse the downtown Los Angels freeways on a mid Tuesday morning. If all goes well headed back home before 1:00.

Famous last words. You ever drive the 110 North to downtown?

The mania burns fierce and bright. The queen calls and I hear her.

THAT’S A SIC PIC BRUH!

This by far is the biggest collection of dead boxes that my travels have led me to. Almost like it’s own town.

After all the lost wandering I have done at the last 3, I decide this time I am going to ask in advance. Absolutely no help.

She said “Why it’s just right up that tiny hill and when that little ol’ hill crests, why heck you’ll be right near “The Last Supper Room”.

So she gave me no map. Damn it, lost again.

This time I had some intel. I knew she was entombed with silly ass Michael Jackson which made this adventure somewhat easier, somewhat. But burial site and monument?

Two completely separate things.

Off to the internet for exact whereabouts. Hey is that Walt Disney? Holy shit he owes me money.

Found the tomb after some searching.

Straighter on would help genius.

THE WINDOWS ARE BLACKED OUT, NO INSIDE VIEWS.

There on your right is a call box with a small sign attached that reads “Open from 9-4:30 Seeing how it was 11:30 I pushed that button and demanded admittance, this did not happen. Large authoritative voice came on the line to tell me family and guests with proper credentials only may enter. Drat, foiled again.

Now what?

According to legend (There are at least 3 and a conspiracy theory on top of that) multiple persons lie in repose in said domicile. Mikey. The recently added,Tito, BO-BO the chimp and the reason I am here.

Now hopelessly lost yet again. I am forced to ask for help. When suddenly out of nowhere, well to be fair pert near ran her over, a nice officer says you are far away from where the Grand Mausoleum is located, it’s by The Last Supper Room.

Dang it!

Here there be confusion. She is interned in the “No one allowed crypt” with Mikey and the monkey but she has a cool memorial located elsewhere? Neat.

Why won’t you just tell us who you are searching for?

If you know me at all you know I have the big 4. Garbo is buried in Sweden. Joany is somewhere in New York. You’ve already seen Natalie which leaves only,

Jump back in the car at least I know where it is this time.

CAN’T FAKE THAT SKY

A last moment change was forced on my already lost soul. There are to be no cameras allowed from this point on. Forced to use only my Iphone. Marched with Canon complete with 50 millimeter (still trying to learn all it can do) lens in hand back to my car’s trunk where I deposited said device as ordered. For you see I follow the rules, mostly.

Is my phone not a camera I asked? He just frowned.

As I entered the glorious hall that opening phrase danced through my head. Opulent indeed.

BEHOLD,THE QUEEN

From the reverse side.

No I did not place a rose, I tried they said no flowers allowed.

JUST WHAT IN THE HELL DOES THAT SAY?

Good eyes, yes that is the foretold of Last Supper Room.

Let ye without stone cast the first sin. It was so peaceful and calm that I sat right down on that bench and pulled out my EVP (don’t act like you don’t know, Electronic Voice Phenomenon) recorder and asked Liz if she had a moment to speak with me, busy I guess, she did not share any beyond the grave insights with me.

I MEAN GOD DAMN DUDE. LOOK AT THAT REFLECTION.

What is it with you and stairs? I mean come on.

As I left I felt calm, almost serene. No horror show filled my eyes with dread. No blood soaked visions blinded me with their rage. Only a deep satisfying peace. May have actually smiled, nah.

So what have we learned?

Allow me to answer. We haven’t learned dick!

One thing is certain, There are no ghosts at cemeteries. Only calm, peaceful and in some cases humbling vistas. No angry spirits roaming the foggy moors, ZERO!

So it was all a waste of time, no spookies?

Not any place I’ve seen but thankfully I do have another idea. How about instead of where the ghouls lay at rest, let’s go to where all of the madness really is?

You talking about a haunted house?

It’s true, I have made people stop the car so I can shoot a staircase.

Lar/Taj Jan-Feb 2025