I got almost nothing.
-I’m not sure anyone had South Korea in the “elected leader declares martial law against political opponents” pool, but I’m sure they got good odds.
-I enjoyed Thanksgiving, food poisoning be damned. I’m not sure if Thanksgiving is the Most American Holiday- fewer explosions than Fourth of July, but more consumer spending- but it is the Best American Holiday. Nobody thinks “stuffing” for Labor Day.
-Congratulations to our Bears friends for their liberation from the Oppression of Eberflus. I look forward to seeing what guy named Matt the Bears hire next. I hear Matt Gaetz is free, and [Marc Trestman Joke Redacted].
-Still replaying the Most Glorious Bills Snow Game in my head. I normally disdain the brainless announcerism of “Out there playing like a kid,” but that’s what we got Sunday night. Twenty-two giant bears on rollerskates. Watching men who have devoted their lives to being the finest football players on the planet having to basically relearn how to move. Sean McDermott and Josh Allen doing snow angels together on national TV. What more do you want?
-Did anyone realize Trestman is currently on Jim Harbaugh’s staff?
-RIP Run CMC. Three and a half games into his return and now he’s out for the rest of the season. Somewhere, Brock Purdy’s agent is watching in real time as guaranteed money hemorrhages from his next contract.
-Trevor Lawrence is this generation’s Boomer Esiason. I will not be answering any follow-up questions.
-If you need something to keep you warm: Dak Prescott’s cap hit next year is almost $90 million. Moving on from Aaron Rodgers will cost the Jets $49 million in dead cap. Deshaun Watson would cost the Browns $172 million to cut loose.
-C.J. Stroud is this generation’s Trevor Lawrence. I will not be taking questions on this one either.
WHAT TO WATCH:
A Shane Black movie!
We’re all tired of the Die Hard As Christmas Movie horseshit. Especially since it’s not even the best 80s action movie set at Christmas- that would be Lethal Weapon.
But most any Shane Black movie will do to kick off your Christmas filmfest. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. Long Kiss Goodnight (criminally underrated). Iron Man 3. The Nice Guys (at the end). It’s his shtick.
