As I type this the Lions are having their way with the Bears and my silly prediction of Arizona walking into a trap game is coming to fruition. On the stupid prediction end of things, an “about to be injured” Saquon is tearing up the field and having himself a game. The Giants are being their usual selves. Speaking of…
To The Game!
Bucs/Boys:
-Eww! That sounds like a mis-spelled gay porn title.
-Have I ever mentioned that I hate Dallas and that the Jones ownership of said team is the gift that keeps on giving? No? Billionaires with their heads fully encased within their ass are the world’s gift to us cynical folks out there.
-Apropos of nothing, I was offered a price on burnt cow hoofs last week. WTH?
-Math Update: Funny how a four game win streak can turn a 4-6 Tampa team into a seemingly successful 8-6 team.
-Whatever. It’s the NFC South-the bar is so low there.
-For fantasy purposes, I’m glad that Dan Campbell is a “Foot on the Gas” kinda fella.
-Mayfield is a Texas boy and the last time he was in Dallas his squadoo put up 49 points.
-Finishing Strong: Tampa, of all teams, is 8-1 in December/January tilts since last year. They’re 20-5 going back to 2020.
-Tampa drafted well this year-wr McMiilan, lb Braswell, rb Irving, center Barton and safety Smith are all starting.
Give me your best.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNBpj81Cc9A
Love the week before Christmas. Sleep becomes a hypothetical concept.
same dilemma goto sleep but can’t, so guess gotta drink
I have to go Xmas shopping tomorrow. Very excited.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvzfI7cXCDM
Find a hiding spot, stay silent and still.
I’m starting to think that NFC East games are all AI generated
Clown fiesta
Odd time for the Cowboys to start trying.
I can’t imagine what Ol’ Double J would do with a top 4 pick these days anyway.
JOHNNY FUCKING FOOTBALL ANTONIO BROWN MAH GOTTDANGED STAR ZEEK AN’ OJ SIMPSON IN THE BACKFIELD
WE’RE NOT JUST ALL IN THIS TIME, IFFIN’ MAH STARS DONT WIN THE NEXT FIVE SUPERBOWLS WITH THAT TALENT IMMA BLOW THE GOTTDAMNED MOON, SUN, AN’ THAT BASTARD SATURN OUTTA THE GOTTDAMN SKY! WATCH ME DO IT, TOO YAH CHUCKLEDICKS!
YEEEEEHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWW I AM TRULY FUCKIN CRAZY
Oh right, yeah, there it is.
Sudden-ish change!
SUDDEN CHANGE!!!
Weird feeling, I’m kinda rooting for the Cowfolk here for some reason. Probably because they’re about to lose
Veni, Vidi, Vita Vea!
“This like watching the NFC championship game!!!!” says Collinsworth, lying through his teeth.
I think another one
Dec 8th, Ki One Korean Single Malt Virgin American Oak Cask
I’ve never had a fancy Korean whisky before, not sure I’ve had any Korean whisky before
I guess the Cowboys want the 2nd place team in the NFC North to play the Falcons
That’s a perfectly cromulent interception.
Tirico is in rare form tonight, and I mean that in a good way. I think he had a halftime martini.
He’s hanging out with Collinsworth. I’d be drinking Sterno.
I mean, are you not?
https://ibb.co/ctBVKnt
I wonder how many of those tiny solo cups they go through in a year?
My total bar bill was $2.00 but I tipped $15.00.
Close enough.
No, but I am living dangerously. I ate some grocery store sushi!
I’d be force feeding Chris a rusty sword
That’s the second WR Mayfield has tried to get killed this quarter alone.
Yeah, if the other team has a healthy Vita Vea in the middle it’s OK to go ahead and abandon the run.
vita means healthy in some latin-based language ppl forget that
It’s ‘life’ in Latin, which is the original latin based language
Ironic, for a dead language.
There is also a word for death in Latin, mortem. If Vita ever lines up across from a guy named Mort, Vita might have a great 3 quarters but Mort will win in the end
Mort is DEATH’S apprentice after all
Basic Latin is super helpful for appreciating British comedy!
I should reread Hogsfather, tis the season
I’m just counting down the days to the 32nd
Everytime I see him i can’t help singing “Weekend at Mort’s, weekend at Mort’s”. My kids are super into Bob’s Burgers lately so I’ve been rewatching a bunch. I can’t believe the consistency of the puns in the opening credits
Tell them one of your internet friends is friends with the voice of Hawk. He’s a cool guy and cooks a mean post-Thanksgiving discount turkey.
You know Shinji “Koji” Kojima? I will totally use that to make me seem cool in there eyes. Discount turkey is my favorite, got quite a bit goin on here
Valar morghulis.
Valar dohaeris.
That’s very Romantic.
Finally poured myself the next day in my Scotch advent calendar.
Oh this is nice, smooth and with some toffee and coffee notes on the finish. There should be other good stuff that starts with a letter and ends in -offee
If we get a “Boy howdy” and a “Skeedaddle” we hit blackout on the Collingsworth bingo card.
Whelp, that is enough of me watching this game, that actually hurt.
Baker, Baker, turnover maker.
That Toyota commercial is a fantastic argument for corporal punishment.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IP4TP_YtAFA
Some nights just have a vibe already.
That song is such a banger!
Steve Kornacki is like a pile of cocaine wished to be a real boy.
have we seen him and Scott Hanson in same place
“I swear to you officer, that’s the only explanation that makes sense!” – Jim Irsay, when a runaway fourteen year-old is found sleeping on his living room couch
not enough blades on those props
Haldo.
Haldo, mif dostas.
I like my marijuana like I like my coffee – freshly ground. Listening to Blood, Sweat, and Tears eponymous album and was wondering if there was any other band that sounds like them, I mean that is a very unique sound.
I’m going to get drugs for my Hawaii flight now!
Is it legal in Hawaii? I mean c’mon Maui Wowee.
No, he’s inserting heroin balloons in his anus. How do you think he’s paying for that kitchen?
It’s not. I mean, no one gonna bother my white land owning ass for smoking, especially because I’m always down to share (man in a foreign land et al) but there’s no legal marketplace. Probably has to do more with the logistics of establishing/maintaining a crony capitalistic marketplace on the islands — but it’d be a great thing to offer tourists. I imagine weed grown in volcanic soils, like all things grown in volcanic soils, is supreme.
Get to cultivating some personal strains, slacker!
I know Kauai used to have 1 medical dispensary, and they did take out of state medical marijuana cards, but no recreational yet. I haven’t been back in a few years, so I don’t know what the current situation is, though.
If you can’t buy pot in Hawaii you must be wearing a policeman’s uniform.
I can’t think of one. I’d say maybe Chicago comes closest, but not all that close
wait, this is just the end of the half!?
Believe it or not, they’re going to do this again in about 20 minutes.
Yes, if I were the owner of an NFL franchise I would be looking at the last three weeks of a lost season to make sure people hadn’t quit on me, because finishing 9-8, missing the playoffs, and picking 13th-18th is much better than going 3-14, missing the play-offs, and picking 3rd.
If you’re gonna miss the play-offs, miss by a wide margin.
Yeah, there’s a lot of ways you could use those games productively and maintaining some imaginary sense of dignity is not one of them
But the trick is to lose respectably as to not upset the fan base too much, but still tank in such a fashion to minimize possible injury to your few stars and not be too obvious. And of course no NFL owner can do anything respectably.
“They’ll get this right” says Mike Tirico, as if he were talking about something other than NFL officiating.
I think maybe it’s time for Cee Dee to call it a season.
THIS GUY CEE DEE LAMB I CALL HIM THE COMPACT DISC BECAUSE PHONETICALLY HE IS REFERRED TO “CEE DEE” AND BECAUSE HE NO LONGER SEEMS TO BE OF MUCH USE.
Picked the color for my Minimal Phone today!
The project is only a few months delayed and a handful of people in the Indiegogo comments are freaking tf out and yelling about refunds, kinda hilarious
Those are the same fuckers who start honking as soon as the light changes, even though they are 5 cars back from the front.
I just saw the last half hour of the Dark Crystal, because Labryinth is coming on next. Henson and Oz did some cool stuff. Dark for the kiddoes, maybe, but fuck them kids!
even was watching Emit Otter Jug Band last week and didnt realize how dark it was for kids and poverty
All good stories for children have a darkness to them. Look at Walt Disney classics like “Snow White” (contract killing), “Bambi” (Bambi’s mother is killed), and “Old Yeller” (they shoot the dog). After Walt died and his son in law took over, Disney movies became saccharine crap where nothing bad happened.
The rule of classic Greek drama is you have to go through hell before you can find redemption.
Children aren’t stupid and they respond to this. When I was a kid I hated anything that talked down to me.
Absolutely! I loved stuff like this when I was a young’n. So did my kid.
Even the original Benji has it’s dark moments when (spoilers) Benji’s original owner dies.
How funny, I hadn’t thought about The Dark Crystal for ages until I made a reference to it last night. It seems to have a really rich lore.
https://ibb.co/pW0fGjh
That fivehead is dead on.
I gave you a like even though I don’t know what “five hole” means.
Or “fivehead” either
a forehead + another head, you could land an Osprey on that fivehead, if it didn’t blow up on its own (the Osprey, not the fivehead).
Thx now I get it
Need us to explain five hole, too?
I ain’t been this fired up about Seahawks fuck ups since the Darrell Bevell days. I want to be bar drunk arguing that it was a blown route by DK rather than a terrible pass by Geno. Then call in to the morning AM radio show, still drunk, to yell my feelings out in a Boston Sportsball fan type rant, minus the racism.
Shake harder, boy
[sighs]
I remember the first time my dad showed me how to masturbate. Good times.
That was most definitely a fucked up route.
Not on Geno.
Baker Mayfield is an easy to like guy.
I hope he dies on the field during tonight’s broadcast.
See, you are catching The Darkest Timeline spirit!
I need the Cowfolk to win to save my gambling day. Make it so Gamblor!
I’m sure the team that just saw their season end will play with great vigor.
I really hope so, as it is all about me.
I knew this was going to be a glorious football Sunday!
It started really well when my Cherries gave ManUre three solid skid marks and now what?
13-2 is what.
SKOL motherfuckers!
Flex that Week 18 mofo already, MURRIKA wanna see the showdown!
That has serious badass potential.
Showdown for division and home field throughout.
And the bye
Yes ma’am!
Imagine being 14-3 and going on the road for the Wild Card round. Somebody gonna.
That’s fucked up.
At least it’ll be an easy road game in a nice warm climate against the winner of the NFC South
I just checked my fantasy matchup for the lulz- last time I looked, Boris was whooping my ass by around 50-60 points. Somehow, I won! And my top scorer was a Jaguar, lolololol!
Jason Garrett smiling at ways he coulda ruined Daniels career