TGIF! We have one last weekend of JV hardwood ball remaining. Enjoy those hoops.

Survival – Personal Edition

The sun is out and the temps are over 60°. That’s means it’s outdoor drinking and grilling time! And, whoops, you just set your lawn on fire. Here’s a handy guide to avoid burning down your entire neighborhood.

  • Gather some fire fighting tools. First water. This can be a hose, buckets of water, the kiddie pool, or your above ground pool. You can also grab a couple shovels and rakes.
  • Take those tools and try to smother the fire. Liberally apply all sources of water to the flames and unburnt grass and vegetation in the path of the fire. You can also use the shovel to cover the flames with dirt or sand. You can also use the shovel to directly tamp out flames. Regardless of method, stay well back of the flames and out of the path of the fire.
  • Locate any possible fuel sources in the path of the fire and get them out of the way. Rake any loose leaves or brush out of the path of the fire.
  • If you’re losing the battle, use the shovel and rakes to clear a path to safety. Also, call your local fire service as they’ll be able to professionally control and extinguish the fire.

Now that the fire is out, go ahead and just order a pizza. Clean up the yard while its getting delivered and plan on making a fire safe area where you can drink and grill in the future.

Click here to get to commenting

Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Brick Meathook

Watch boys, they do three great comedy routines here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UyFb45x_zgA

rockingdog

Trump supporters, 2016: Look at that jet! Donald Trump is an American success story who’ll use his years of business experience to put more money in your pocket!

Trump supporters, 2025: Listen to the leaves in the wind…the calling bird…the humble cricket…what possessions compare to these?

LoL

WCS

havin a 410k and having monies is WOKE liberal LIES
JeSSE WATTERS said TRUMP loves us and TRUST him over JESUS and the LIBETARDS who just HATE MURICA

rockingdog

Classic Dril post with a topical twist

check this shit out motherfucker (i impose tariffs on every country in the world and tank the economy, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do)

LoL

Last edited 1 year ago by rockingdog
SonOfSpam

Gold Coast 91, Adelaide 90.

Would’ve been a kickass game to attend

rockingdog

Found a funny:

I hope I’m not be the first person to bring this up

But there has never been a more vindicated guy

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Gatoraids

“You can’t refuse the question” “But I do” “But you can’t” “But I did”

Same debate Dorn had vs Khorne

SonOfSpam

AUSSIE TALK

Geez, what happened to the Demons?

And the game on right now is a corker or chazzwozzer.

Ok, that’s all.

ballsofsteelandfury

Helluva finish!

SonOfSpam

Maybe I’ll get the Watch AFL package.

(I will not, but sure seemed like a great game)

yeah right

I was gonna say No Spoilers but Freo doesn’t play until tomorrow night so..

/clears throat

As you were!

SonOfSpam

Oh shit, not thinking, sorry. Sourry.

/sees “as you were”
//batin

SonOfSpam

Tomorrow night’s free game is Port Adelaide/St Kilda on FS2.

Don’t remember St Kilda from Catholic school.

yeah right

She was the one with the tartan.

Doktor Zymm

It’s a timeline error, there is no St Kilda…. YET

WCS

“Eminence Front,” “Owner of a Lonely Heart,” and “Stone Cold” by Rainbow in a row with zero input from me. Well played, YooToob.

yeah right

I’ve had that exact Playlist before.

yeah right

Lost track of the number of times I’ve watched that.

Now I’m going to find out where to watch it again.

Shit, it was like 3 months ago.

Top ten.

SonOfSpam

Badges?

yeah right

And our favorite weirdo girls are back.

This bassline rips.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Kjz89xYmS4

I played this so I can listen to it on my headphones.

Brick Meathook

“Where the hell are the penguins? Stupid fucking penguins!”

https://ibb.co/ccfjP1gB

Horatio Cornblower

Wrong pole you idiots!!

Brick Meathook

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Horatio Cornblower

That was also my joke.

Brick Meathook

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yeah right

Well hello!

I’ve got my chores done.
Got my grocery done.
Full tank of gas in the car.
Current state is good.

One more week until Canada!

Man, I’m feeling as chill as I’ve felt in weeks.

How are you doing?

It’s motherfucking Friday!

WCS

It’s motherfucking Friday!

I’d say you earned it. You can have my share of the booze.

yeah right

Why thank you.

Another frio cerveza would be lovely.

Gracias!

Doktor Zymm

For some reason LinkedIn thinks I should follow Dwayne Wade

SonOfSpam

Yes, just like it sounds.

WCS

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yeah right

Only not spelled the same.

Sharkbait

Linkedin is still a thing? I have one, but I can’t remember when I last logged in

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, they’re trying to be a social platform now instead of just a jobs site so it’s extra horrible

Horatio Cornblower

Scott Van Pelt interviewing Alex Ovechkin after Ovechkin ties Gretzky for most goals scored in, like, ever, and Ovechkin clearly can’t wait to end this interview and go hammer beers with the boys to celebrate.

Sharkbait

I love that he took Ryan Leonard out drinking in Boston the day he signed his ELC.

Doktor Zymm

He’s the entire reason the Caps have a beer fridge in their locker room. He’s an inspiration

rockingdog

Dudes Rock! 🤘

Gatoraids

if not music yet at least we’ve brought the Onion back full strength,

https://bsky.app/profile/bencollins.bsky.social/post/3llzimgrfj226

Doktor Zymm

It’s a golden age for memes as well! I’m skeptical about music coming back mostly because I think the 1996 telecommunications act had as much to do with its decline as prosperity

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm

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I think I figured out why they’re screwing the penguins!

yeah right

In the words of the old internet…

That made me LOLercopter.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s wild to see UConn obliterating UCLA like this. UCLA is the top-ranked team in the country and UConn is making them look like what would happen if Bryn Mawr fielded a team.

Horatio Cornblower

Beating USC when Schuster had blown out her knee two days earlier was one thing. This UCLA team was at full strength, and UConn played like UCLA wasn’t even on the floor.

South Carolina on Sunday. Get ready for jihad.

2Pack

My interest tonight falls upon lady number 3. Thank you Mr Ayo for this valuable service you provide.

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yeah right

What Ayo said.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t feel like mixing more capirinhas, but I also don’t feel like drinking straight cachaça. What should I drink? Rum?

Doktor Zymm

You feel like sticking with liquor/mixed drinks?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am thinking I might just sip some Puerto Rican rum. Too lazy to mix anything and have to clean up afterwards.

Sharkbait

This is the way. I ditched the vermouth and bitters myself and moved to straight rye

SonOfSpam

I am having this, it’s a “turbo radler” because 8%:

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Doktor Zymm

I thought Lemonade Rage was the sequel to the classic 90s video game Lemonade Stand
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SonOfSpam

Lemonade sales are gonna suck when it’s that cold, stupid kid.

SonOfSpam

If there’s one thing chicks dig, it’s a guy who does it Pitino-speed.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m killing Hookers.

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SonOfSpam

How dare you. He didn’t say “hobos” so clearly this is Craig James.

yeah right

Sangsters overproof, Mon!

Cures what’sa ailin’ ya.

fleshwound_NPG

atta girl to sue bird whom just dropped an f bomb on the espn2 simulcast of the uconn game

still not as good as taurasi saying you should take inches from the cocks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6nChbbee5A

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had tuned into them during the earlier game and was glad I did; they work well together.

blaxabbath

My neighbor apparently used to go to the whatever (A&M?) football game that was at the fair in Arlington. So he’s a guy who is really good at carnival games. We’re gonna take our boys the the county fair tomorrow and I’m gonna see if I can get some big stuffed animals.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[ears perk up at the prospect of “getting…stuffed”] – Deanna Favre

WCS

/loses enthusiasm when hears, “big”

2Pack

My kid (the 32 y/o one) still has one that I won for her in a shooting arcade when she was little. They will not forget that Dad. It will be thier touchstone to your fun times together. Have a blast.

blaxabbath

My wife keeps insinuating I am at fault for her health problems. Take responsibility, I tell her. It’s called a UTI, not an OurTI.

Doktor Zymm

There’s a U AND an I though

Horatio Cornblower

Legitimately a banger of a tune

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_pi8yBaooQ

WCS

Sometime in my late 20s, I figured I’d never, ever see a Triple Crown winner, a 16-seed upset a 1, and Gretzky’s goal mark beaten.

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I was WAY off.

WCS

I can’t refute this, either.
(and technically she’s a countess, but that’s schematics and quickly loses people’s attention)

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

Pfft! Baroness or GTFO.

(has no idea if a countess outranks a baroness)
(Isn’t really sure what either is)

WCS

Her highness is the one with the royal/noble stock. I’m just some Yinzer with Irish, Polish, German, and Rooskie mitochondrion, none of that fancy, proletariat Frankish-Luxembourgian stuff.

WCS

Is that how this shit works?

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fleshwound_NPG

or the west do this to their cold war champions trophycomment image

Doktor Zymm

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Doktor Zymm

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Redshirt
Gatoraids
Redshirt

They did it! They reached…uh…damn it, it’s been so long I forgot what it was called….Fourth Base? Whatever that home-shaped plate is, the Reds reached it.

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Redshirt

A crooked number!

blaxabbath

Sounds like they need a series against a team with an embarrassingly bad defense.

Can the Bengals take the crosstown — i don’t know what they have in Ohio… Paul Ryan Expressway — for a Saturday doubleheader?

Doktor Zymm

Every year it throws me off how late in the year the NHL playoffs start. Too damn warm in April/May

fleshwound_NPG

used to be about this weekend or so when it actually started. still a week and change to go

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Have we had to reschedule a hockey game due to a hurricane yet? Given how many teams are located in Florida, it seems like just a matter of time.

Jimbo

Weird that Florida has 2 teams and Wisconsin and other cold states have none.

Sharkbait

Even weirder is that a team from Florida has been to the last FIVE Finals.

WCS

It’s even weirder both franchises have won the bloody Stanley Cup in the last decade.

Sharkbait

Tickets for the Capitals-Islanders game Sunday are already hitting $700 on the secondary market

Jimbo

As a former catholic, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this has something to do with molestation.

https://abcnews.go.com/US/beloved-catholic-priest-fatally-shot-church-kansas/story?id=120490511

Sharkbait

I still find it funny that when Spotlight won best picture, I was surprised that I hadn’t seen any ads for it. Then I saw it and remembered where I lived and it all made sense.

WCS

I’m sooo in love with a princess. It’s her highness’ Lap Around the Sun Anniversary today, so I am celebrating by:

A.) Dealing with an overdose
B.) Relaying false burglar alarm activations
C.) Burning my tongue with hot coffee
D.) Continuein cellular mitosis
E.) Some combination of above

How are yinz?

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait’s is tomorrow. We’re dropping the kids off at my sister in laws, and doing dinner in the North end and getting a room in the city.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m okay. I’m kind of jealous that you have the inside track as neo-feudalism starts to take hold; are you taking serf applications yet or should I wait until next week?

WCS

They’re always taking applications, so just submit one and I’ll see if I can help.

Horatio Cornblower

I have access to some lovely filth, if that will get me an edge on the serf application.

WCS

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Lord, I hope I don’t screw this up with her. I’m having so much fun with this angle.

Oh, and you know, having a son together, and being in love with her, blah blah…

Last edited 1 year ago by WCS
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Tis also my birthday today. Wish the princess a happy birthday from a fellow 4-4

Jimbo

Feliz Cumpleaños GTD!

Doktor Zymm

Congrats on being born!

WCS

Congrats on your latest lap around Sol, as well.

Sharkbait

Happy Birthday!

2Pack

Have a good one Buddy

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Happy Birthday!

2Pack

Happy Birthday
/ respectfully wished from bended knee and bowed head

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In honor of Azzi Fudd of the Lady Huskies, I’m going to get blind drunk drinking capirinhas, which I’ve learned is the Portugese word for “hillbilly”.

Jimbo

I’m rooting for the small lady bears for no reason other than it would be a huge upset.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s insane that it would be a huge upset for a 36-2 team to beat a 35-3 team, but what you say is true.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Except that what *I* say is not true – UCLA is actually 34-2.

WCS

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Brocky

So pretty sure I’ve posted some of these before, legit can’t keep track

Spoiler

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Brocky

Where’s Balls when you need him? His photographic memory of all things asses is required!

ballsofsteelandfury

I concur that I don’t see any repeats

2Pack

Thanks Buddy, that last lady certainly has my attention.

Brocky

I should start a petition that if ovi gets the record, people have to acknowledge Barry Bonds as the home run king

Jimbo

-No, all beisbol fans

Doktor Zymm

Poor people on the inbound flight of the plane I’m gonna get on landed 25 minutes ago and haven’t made it to the gate yet. I should have a cookie while I wait for them to deplane and clean

2Pack

I so don’t look forward to flying commercial anymore.

fleshwound_NPG
Dunstan

Man, fuck that guy with the splintery old Sherwood stick in my parents’ shed from 1983.

Jimbo

Evening folks, are we liberated yet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Of our 401k’s, absolutely.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How many adjusted for inflation?

Doktor Zymm

That’s already in constant 2009 goals

Sharkbait

Couldnt get the hatty for the record damnit.

/tears up betslip.

Redshirt

I am cautiously optimistic.

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Sharkbait

I agree that shouldn’t be a major.

Dunstan

Because it should be a match penalty?

Horatio Cornblower

Same. Not enough force. Sometime very bad things happen when large people are moving fast on ice.

Redshirt

In reassuring news, the Cincinnati Reds scoreless streak has now reached 31 consecutive innings and they are losing 1-0. Again.

LemonJello

One more sign that spring is upon us!

WCS

Has anyone THANKED President Trump for crashing the stock market yet?!

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LemonJello

Looks like he’s explaining what his idea of foreplay is with that couch down in the basement.

BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Judges would have also accepted mascara brands and proper application

Redshirt

.

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Doktor Zymm

Oh damn

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Got out of a farewell party for one of Lady BFC’s friends so made myself a large Last Word and we’re watching a movie.

Doktor Zymm

What movie?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rewatching That Thing You Do

Doktor Zymm

Hm, actually it looks like they aren’t updating futures markets and haven’t since 4:59 pm EDT. That seems…ominous

Doktor Zymm

I lost quite a bit of money today, but not as much as I could of. It was time for TAIL to shine, with an 8% increase and I bought some SQQQ (a triple leveraged fund that shorts the N asdaq 100) and it went up 3% between the time my order executed and my screen refreshed. Futures markets looking like another 5-6% drop at open tomorrow so curious to see what happens. Thank goodness this didn’t happen while I was unemployed though.

I have one friend from high school who is a risk taker and pretty good at it. He’s had 75% of his 401k in SQQQ since Feb and making stupid amounts of money. Kinda wishing I had been that confident with my hedges but oh well

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m afraid to even look.

Doktor Zymm

Just enjoy the penguin tariff memes until things settle down

Doktor Zymm

So many

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fleshwound_NPG

GAAAHHHH

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Doktor Zymm

Only try and use your drink to put the fire out if you’re drinking some shitty low abv beer

LemonJello

I feel singled out.

But I set the lawn AND my riding mower on fire.

ballsofsteelandfury

The winning poses this week are #s 1, 3, & 8.

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