Monday Morning Mock Draft: What The F*ck Is That Thing!?!?

Good morning people.  I assume it’s a good morning for some of you anyway.  Me, I’ll still be rolling into Daylight Savings Time, which I hate for depriving me an hour of beautiful sleep, a time when, like Ralph Wiggum, I’m a Viking, or at least unconscious and not having to deal with

(gestures broadly)

that.

I also have two depositions scheduled today.  And I came up with his topic all by myself, so you’re largely going to be on your own.  Pick a commissioner from amongst yourself; I trust everything will work out.

/returns 22 seconds later

Ah.  Well.  Nevertheless.

This week we draft mascots.  Initially I thought of breaking this into two drafts, like last year when we drafted coaches we’d want to coach a favorite team, and then coaches we wouldn’t want anywhere near a favorite team.

/tips hat to Rick Kotite

Then, however, I came to the conclusion that mascots, with few exceptions, are generally pretty stupid.  Large, garish, furry…things that wander around the park or rink or field, entertaining children who would have tapped out of the game 20 minutes in if it weren’t for the funny-looking green thing bouncing around two sections over, and distracting those of us there for the game by being, well, a funny looking green thing bouncing around two sections over.

Fun aside, one time I took my then young son and a friend of his to a minor league game and Tater the Navigator

came over to entertain them.  While doing so he knocked my beer into my lap.  The kids started laughing and Tater leans over and says “hey, sorry man; I’ll have a new beer sent down to you” which he did, which the kids found even funnier.

So draft whatever mascot you feel like, good, bad, or ugly.  Feel free to state your feelings about said mascot as well, even if, (especially if), you’re drafting them because they suck.  Have fun with it:  it’s a Monday, and we’re all short an hour of sleep.

With the first pick I’ll take the aforementioned (and late and lamented) Tater the Navigator.  The Norwich Navigators are, much like the Whalers, no more, having moved to Richmond, VA  just because they “couldn’t draw fans” and “lost a ton of money” and the Norwich Stadium was “hard to get to” and the facilities were “not up to acceptable standards” and “probably should have been condemned.”  RIP Tater, but you did buy me a beer once, so you get to be the first pick.

The rest of you are on the clock.

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Brocky

If you’re a steelers fan wondering if Rodgers going to Pittsburgh feels like a form of punishment:

That’s because it is.

And you deserve it

BeefReeferLives

Well, if that’s the price to pay for winning 6 superbowls over the years, I guess I’ll take it.

& I’ll take your word for us deserving it. If anyone knows anything about taking punishment, it’s a Bears fan…