INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

Once again, all the lights are…wait, it turns out the lights are actually on this week.  Though, as usual, it remains completely silent.  DJ 3000′ boots up…

…to realize that the studio is empty.

DJ 3000′: [checks calendar] OH, THAT’S RIGHT, HE’S OFF THIS WEEK.

Suddenly, the “incoming call” button on DJ 3000”s console lights up. 

— video call flies open —

HUNTER RENFROW: Hey man what’s happening?

DJ 3000′: NOT A WHOLE LOT.  WHY ARE YOU CALLING IN, AREN’T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN SOUTH CAROLINA FOR THAT 4TH OF JULY BARBECUE?

HUNTER RENFROW: It’s more of a family reunion, really.  But yeah, I’m here.

DJ 3000′: TO REITERATE MY QUERY, WHY ARE YOU CALLING IN?

HUNTER RENFROW: Oh, you know, I just got bored.  And it’s kind of a drag here.  It’s my dad’s side of the family, and most of them are from the Sumter area, and you know what that means.

DJ 3000′: AH. I DIDN’T THINK YOU CARED MUCH ABOUT POLITICS.

HUNTER RENFROW: I prefer to avoid the subject, mostly.  As long as I can get my hands on some decent manga and they don’t restrict games like Cyberpunk 2077 any more than slapping an M-for-Mature rating on them, I’m happy to go with the flow.  But with these guys…let’s just say that several of them are really big Clayton Kershaw fans.

DJ 3000′: I DON’T FOLLOW.

HUNTER RENFROW: …because he just recorded his three thousandth strikeout?

DJ 3000′: [displays spinning wheel icon]

HUNTER RENFROW: Okay, so you know how a thousand strikeouts would be “k” “K’s”?

DJ 3000′: AH, I GET IT.

HUNTER RENFROW: The most stomach-churning part is hearing them drone on and on about how wonderful everything is now that they’re in charge again but not a single one of them is involved their community in even the most tangential way. But it is a little amusing to hear about how the new administration’s policies are affecting them directly.

DJ 3000′: DO SHARE.

HUNTER RENFROW: Okay, for example, after he got his OTH discharge from the Army my Uncle Mason started working as a security contractor for USAID.  He’s been all over the world, Indonesia, Guyana, Tanzania, you name a country, he’s probably pointed a gun at one of the locals and told them to stand the eff back.  But USAID has been shut down, so he got laid off, and now he’s back living with my grandparents in Harvins Crossroads.

DJ 3000′: WOW, WHAT A SHAME. ABOUT USAID, I MEAN.

HUNTER RENFROW: And then there’s my cousin Hazel, the one who hasn’t missed a Young Life meeting in six years? She was going to take a gap year and do Americorps – she was really hoping to get posted to North Carolina for the flood recovery work they were doing there – so she didn’t apply anywhere other than Spartanburg Community College.  So now that Americorps is toast, you’ll never guess what she’ll be doing next year.

DJ 3000′: GOING TO SPARTANBURG COMMUNITY COLLEGE?

HUNTER RENFROW: Well, no, she didn’t get in.  She’s probably going to keep waiting tables until next year.  And that’s assuming they can even keep her on after the end of the summer. It’s hard to imagine she’s going to get anything more than part-time hours, but Aunt Charlotte kept going on and on about how nice it was going to be that at least Hazel wouldn’t have to pay taxes on her tips…do you really think Hazel is going to be pulling twelve thousand dollars out of the tip jar at Fishin’ Fellas?

DJ 3000′: ESPECIALLY IF PEOPLE REDUCE THE AMOUNT THEY TIP THINKING THAT THEY’RE SPLITTING THE DIFFERENCE.

HUNTER RENFROW: Yeah. And then there’s my Great-Uncle Emmett, he’s already complaining that he can’t find anyone who will harvest blackberries for the wages he’s used to paying…

DJ 3000′: HEY SORRY TO CUT YOU OFF BUT WE’VE GOT TO GO TO AIR IN JUST A MINUTE, I DON’T SUPPOSE YOU CALLED IN BECAUSE YOU CAME UP WITH A TOPIC? SOMETHING APPROPRIATE FOR THE 4TH OF JULY?

HUNTER RENFROW: I mean that’s not why I called, but yeah, all this flag-waving has got me thinking that “Politicians” might be a decent topic.

DJ 3000′: SPECIFIC PEOPLE, OR JUST GENERAL TERMS LIKE “THE MAYOR”?

HUNTER RENFROW: I think either is fine.  Maybe you can get us rolling with a band who got their start not too far away from here in Athens, Georgia.

DJ 3000′: R.E.M.?

HUNTER RENFROW: [touches nose]

DJ 3000′: CAN DO.  NOW GET BACK TO THE FAMILY REUNION.  AND DON’T GO TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HAZEL’S EMOTIONAL VULNERABILITY LIKE YOU DID WITH ANGIE MARTINEZ IN LONDON SO YOU CAN MAKE OUT WITH HER.  SHE’S YOUR COUSIN, THAT’S GROSS.

It looks like the clowns in Congress have done it again, so today’s theme is “Politicians”.  We’re looking for songs about politicians – whether named specifically or not.  Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r3yWdDdU8r and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “Golden Lions” by Johnny Warman was solved by GumbyGirl (who gets extra credit for wading through an extensive wikipedia page that was clearly written by the artist themselves). This is what democracy sounds like, I guess.