Request Line: NFC East

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

All the lights in the studio are burning brightly.  DJ 3000′ boots up…

…to see a cheerful and relaxed HUNTER RENFROW sitting at one of the desks, talking on the phone. 

DJ 3000′: [flashes its console lights in greeting]

HUNTER RENFROW: [acknowledges the greeting, holds up a finger]…well thank you so much, I’ll be sure to get there before 3 p.m. to pick it up.  I can’t thank you enough for accommodating me on the special request!

HUNTER RENFROW hangs up the phone, then sits back with a contented sigh.

DJ 3000′: WHAT’S HAPPENING?

HUNTER RENFROW: I just finished the last of my prom preparations.

DJ 3000′: WELL DONE!

HUNTER RENFROW: Thanks.  You know, I think Rachel Dunbarton and I are going to have a really good time.

DJ 3000′: I’M GLAD TO HEAR.  SO LET’S RUN DOWN THE CHECKLIST AND MAKE SURE YOU HAVEN’T FORGOTTEN ANYTHING.  TRANSPORTATION?

HUNTER RENFROW: Check. Old Man Biletnikoff is letting me borrow his Cadillac Series 62.

DJ 3000′: THAT’S VERY GENEROUS OF HIM.  ATTIRE?

HUNTER RENFROW: Check.  Just got off the phone with the tuxedo shop.  Wait until you see my vest and tie!

DJ 3000′: [engages BART SCOTT voice module] CAN’T WAIT!  CORSAGE?

HUNTER RENFROW: Check.

DJ 3000′: PROTECTION?

HUNTER RENFROW: Check. [holds up item]

DJ 3000′: THAT’S NOT WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT.  YOU’RE NOT REALLY BRINGING A GUN TO PROM, ARE YOU?

HUNTER RENFROW: I mean, it’s Soscatee High School. If you leave your EDC at home for social events where they don’t have the metal detectors set up you might as well be wearing a prom gown.

DJ 3000′: E-D-C?

HUNTER RENFROW: Every Day Carry.

DJ 3000′: I VERY STRONGLY DISCOURAGE YOU FROM BRINGING THAT THING.

HUNTER RENFROW: [imitates Hans Gruber’s voice] I’ll take that under advisement, Mr. DJ 3000′.

DJ 3000′: LET ME INCENTIVIZE YOU A LITTLE. IF YOU LEAVE THAT AT HOME I WILL GUARANTEE THAT YOU GET LUCKY ON PROM NIGHT.

HUNTER RENFROW: Really?

DJ 3000′: WELL, IN AS MUCH THAT I WILL HACK INTO THE CITY’S TRAFFIC GRID AND ENSURE THAT YOU WILL NOT HIT A SINGLE RED LIGHT ALL EVENING.

HUNTER RENFROW: All right, fine. What else?

DJ 3000′: PHOTOGRAPHS?

HUNTER RENFROW: Check. The prom committee hired an official photographer.

DJ 3000′: REQUEST LINE TOPIC?

HUNTER RENFROW: Ch…uh…oh.  Ah, nuts.

DJ 3000′: IT’S OKAY, WE’VE GOT ONE LAST DIVISION WE CAN USE: THE NFC EAST.

HUNTER RENFROW: All right.  So we’re looking for songs about the Philadelphia Eagles, the Dallas Cowboys, the New York Giants, and the…uh…wait, what’s Washington’s team called these days?

DJ 3000′: RIGHT NOW IT’S STILL THE COMMANDERS.  BUT SOME CHILD MOLESTER IS TRYING TO STRONG-ARM THEM INTO CHANGING BACK.

HUNTER RENFROW: Huh. So I guess there’s some flexibility there.  I have an idea – want to get us rolling with a quad shot?

DJ 3000′: SURE!

HUNTER RENFROW: All right then. Please cue up a little Steve Miller Band, some Boys Don’t Cry, They Might Be Giants, and, um…how about a little Sly Foxx?

Today’s theme is the NFC East.  We’re looking for stuff that’s complicated, nonsensical, or just straight-up pretentious. Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?45(r0Ft_5o4R” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh.  Last week’s puzzle answer of “The Trees” by Rush was solved by BeefReeferLives.  Off we go!

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Horatio Cornblower

Me, gearing up for another season of the Dallas Cowboys…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DH_T6tr7ENw&list=RDDH_T6tr7ENw&start_radio=1

Horatio Cornblower

Ok, this is a bit of a stretch, until you consider Ol’ JJ is very old and, well…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1l50slBaGg&list=RDY1l50slBaGg&start_radio=1

Horatio Cornblower

I think I’m looking forward to this prom more than Hunter is.

Anyway, this is probably a Blair Witch, but for some reason I can’t see half the videos, and I just got here, so fuck everything, I’m going deep.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i85ob2DackI

BeefReeferLives

I don’t think anyone has posted this tune, so I think you are safe from the clutches of the dread Blair Witch.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s great late round value! The Tom Brady of this draft, if you will.

SonOfSpam

Didn’t know this song makes out with its son.

Horatio Cornblower

No, it’s just that it was cucked by its wife’s jiu jitsu instructor.

Last edited 9 months ago by Horatio Cornblower
BeefReeferLives
Gatoraids

twofer Gigantic – Pixies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xJncHEZ3URs

yeah right
Gatoraids

Master and Commander violin cello duet
like to think they are celebrating the sinking of Snyder yacht

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocbfZ6unaCU

Gatoraids

A song as in tune and deluded as its team, ownership and fans
Tom Waits – I’ll Take New York

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eoPZgFEusM

Brocky

This song is basically Russell Wilson’s career at this point

https://youtu.be/2c4hnA8jXwo?si=220cs2DIxE2juA7L

BeefReeferLives

They were giants.

“The term “Nephilim” in the Bible refers to a group of mysterious beings or people of unusually large size and strength, who are described in Genesis 6:4 as being on the Earth both before and after the great flood.”

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephilim

Gatoraids

Philadelphia Eagles ABC Action News Song – Closer To Your World

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozZTVUL33tE

ThurberHerder
SonOfSpam
Last edited 9 months ago by SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives

Elton John: The ‘Malibu Stacy’ of musicians.

ThurberHerder
Brocky

God damn it how did I not think of this

SonOfSpam

As the video says, it was shot 4 days before 9/11. It’s also a good song, and also Ryan Adams is a sex pest. Everything is complicated.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmHgY_J63Ik&list=RDhmHgY_J63Ik&start_radio=1&pp=ygUecnlhbiBhZGFtcyBpIGxvdmUgeW91IG5ldyB5b3JroAcB

SonOfSpam

All these assholes available, and Death takes Jim Lovell. What a dick.

BeefReeferLives

at 97, I think Jim was ready for that last journey.

(but yeah… trump is RIGHT FUCKING THERE, Death!! WTAF?)

Gatoraids

song too good for the team Cowboys are Frequently Secretly Fond of Each Other – Orville Peck and Willie Nelson

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BirJMnMcfBs

BeefReeferLives

Double Shot! (so are the cowboys gay or not, Willie? MAKE UP YOUR DAMN MIND!)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG9hCSUckCg&list=RDpG9hCSUckCg&start_radio=1

Gumbygirl

All the way from Washington, her breadwinner begs off the bathroom floor
https://youtu.be/iO6OvHxD_m8?si=Fxh7mJxeRxkFbMtL

SonOfSpam
Last edited 9 months ago by SonOfSpam
BeefReeferLives

comment image

Brocky
SonOfSpam

Sure, and Renfrow appreciates it

Brocky

This song’s lyrics makes reference to the REDACTEDS, so it fits, imo

https://youtu.be/Q3sJlr0kw8I?si=w7kehb_95SDQHwoe

BeefReeferLives

& the demon on the jacket art’s skin is, well, a certain coloUr…

BeefReeferLives

I was about to say “just like Dan Snyder’s face after yet another sexual harassment suit is filed by the cheerleaders for his perviness”, but I don’t think Dan can feel shame.

BeefReeferLives
Last edited 9 months ago by BeefReeferLives
SonOfSpam

Correct and gross.

BeefReeferLives

I say again: Dude….

Brocky

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Didn’t he resign, or get fired, when some of GW’s thugs were trying to strong-arm him into doing something completely unconstitutional?

I doubt there’s a single thing John and I agree on politically, (or socially), but at least there was a floor he wouldn’t tear out and dig a hole beneath.

Horatio Cornblower

I went to a wedding once that he attended. There was no dancing.

He’s a really fun guy.

Doktor Zymm

https://youtu.be/Zu618sRQuvQ
I thought this was apt

BeefReeferLives

Quite.

Well played, Dok.

BeefReeferLives

Aw… Shoulda made this a double shot with the puzzle song (I think)

Doktor Zymm
Doktor Zymm
ThurberHerder
BeefReeferLives

Remember when weed had seeds? I remember, ’cause I’m old.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x0XiND_61wM

BeefReeferLives

If the puzzle is the song & singer I think it is…

Dude….

SonOfSpam

Rikki pines for the halcyon Dubya Days. I kind of get it.

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