INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
All the lights are…actually, most of the lights are out. A single spotlight is pointed at a disco ball on the ceiling, the reflections from which faintly illuminate DJ 3000′ as it boots up…
…to a studio that has remained empty during the entire NFL season and postseason so far. As we watch, DJ 3000”s console flashes the text "TCP-IP connection request sent..." shortly followed by "TCP-IP connection secured...receiving data..." before cutting to a security camera displaying…well, it’s actually so dark in there that it’s hard to tell.
INT. SOSCATEE HIGH SCHOOL CHEMISTRY LABORATORY – NIGHT.
HUNTER RENFROW and ANGIE MARTINEZ and RACHEL DUNBARTON are huddled closely together on the ground behind one of the chemistry benches. It is very dark inside the room.
RACHEL DUNBARTON: I’m not sure this is necessary anymore Hunter.
HUNTER RENFROW: We’re less visible if we’re all snuggled I mean huddled together like this.
ANGIE MARTINEZ: Then why is your hand on my thigh?
HUNTER RENFROW: Oh, I’m just, uh, checking to make sure you don’t have hypothermia.
ANGIE: It’s fine, I think my body temperature is back to normal now. But that’s very sweet of you.
RACHEL: It’s a good thing we found these sweatshirts inside the girls’ locker room.
ANGIE: Sorry there were only just the two, Hunter.
HUNTER: [continues shivering]
RACHEL: Too bad we can’t use one of these bunsen burners to warm you up, kiddo.
HUNTER: Can’t risk having the killer spot the flickering light from the hallway.
ANGIE: So…what’s the plan, anyways? We can’t just stay hunkered down here forever.
RACHEL: Yeah, we really need to try to get out of the building.
HUNTER: [relatively softly] DJ 3000′, this is Clem Fandango can you hear me?
DJ 3000′: [over the intercom system, also relatively softly] YES CLEM FANDANGO, I CAN HEAR YOU.
HUNTER RENFROW and DJ 3000′ giggle while ANGIE MARTINEZ looks confused.
ANGIE: Clem Fandango?
RACHEL: It’s an inside joke. British humor.
ANGIE: Like Monty Python?
RACHEL: Kind of, yeah. The next generation of that sort of stuff, I guess?
HUNTER: DJ 3000′, is it safe to leave the room right now?
DJ 3000′: YES, THE PERPETRATOR IS CURRENTLY IN THE HISTORY WING OF THE BUILDING.
HUNTER: Perfect. I’ve got an idea.
HUNTER RENFROW, ANGIE MARTINEZ, and RACHEL DUNBARTON rise up off the floor. HUNTER RENFROW opens a drawer and pulls out a couple of items and sets them on the bench.
RACHEL: Hunter, what are you doing?
HUNTER: I’m setting a trap.
HUNTER RENFROW connects the tubing to a natural gas outlet and uses the striker to light the bunsen burner, which lights up the room like a candle.
DJ 3000′: SPEAKING OF IDEAS DOES ANYONE HAVE ANY SUGGESTIONS FOR THIS WEEK’S REQUEST LINE OH NEVER MIND I JUST CAME UP WITH SOMETHING.
ANGIE: Which is?
DJ 3000′: SOURCES OF ILLUMINATION. WE’RE LOOKING FOR SONGS ABOUT CANDLES, FLASHLIGHTS, LANTERNS…YOU GET THE IDEA.
As they are talking HUNTER RENFROW hurries around the room opening up all the other natural gas outlets while RACHEL DUNBARTON watches.
ANGIE: Oh neat! Mind getting us started with something from the Afghan Whigs?
DJ 3000′: [pleasantly surprised that ANGIE has taken an interest] IT WOULD BE MY PLEASURE. I TRUST THIS TUNE OFF “BLACK LOVE” WAS WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND?
Today’s theme is “Sources of Illumination”. We’re looking for songs about candles, torches, flashlights, etc. Please post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63Rh4rD_r!(hT3R”. Last week there was no puzzle because your host is a bum who doesn’t plan his time well. Still hoping that BeefReeferLives rejoins us here – everyone else, let’s light it up!
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