47 Wide Right

Earlier eras of football history saw reckless intervention by alien forces. As time progressed, though, subtler and subtler methods were used by the planetary interlopers. By the start of the 1990s, technology was getting better, documentation more ubiquitous. The greys began to leverage comparatively sophisticated measures for altering the outcomes of games. Even still, it’s possible to pinpoint exact moments and methods from this period in time, as opposed to the extreme level of scrutiny that must be employed to discern influence in today’s game.

 

Super Bowl XXV, January 27th, 1991. The Buffalo Bills’ outstanding roster will face off against a New York Giants team coached by human paragon Bill Parcells – and his defensive coordinator, the single most influential human-born extraterrestrial agent known to us: Bill Belichick. His malignant presence on the sideline will always draw the attention of grey-watchers, but in this instance he was little more than an observer, sent to ensure conditions are right. Again, by this point in history the greys weren’t so heavy-handed with their methods. This game proceeded essentially without interference until the final moments.

 

Scott Norwood lines up for a kick. It’s the tail end of the 4th quarter and he’s at the tail end of his kicking range. His accuracy from this distance is just a hair above 50%, but the odds are in his favor. The snap is clean. The hold…isn’t. Frank Reich has aligned the laces to the right, but he’s on the right hash. This ball is going to sail, hard to the right. Norwood sees the situation play out in front of him in bullet-time. A minute adjustment to his motion can save this situation. He’s dialed in his power perfectly, now to just—

 

The tension in his muscles relaxes, and he sees the future play out in front of him. Four consecutive Super Bowl wins. Scott Norwood, hero of the Buffalo Bills. Outrageous parades, he and his teammates riding on floats in downtown Buffalo. A street outside the stadium reads, Scott Norwood Boulevard.

 

—Before he had the chance to adjust his aim, the ball contacts his foot. There it goes, sailing towards the upright. Maybe it’ll be fine, he thinks. It flies through the night air, approaching the right upright and clearing the outside of the post by about a foot. Defeat. Shame. Horror.

 

“Working as designed,” reports Belichick into his 2023 AirPods Pro, before going to celebrate with his innocent, ignorant hero, Parcells.

 

The methods implemented in this game to alter the final result are, compared to today’s, archaic and obvious. Our work to reveal the grey’s influence only gets more challenging with each passing season. But in this instance, we see a marked change in the philosophy of the other-worlders: why shove, when a gentle nudge will do?

 

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Alex_Demote
Game designer, junk collector, paint chip taste tester
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[…] round, no real reaches, quality playmakers at DB, RB, and WR, B+ consensus draft grades…did aliens take over the Bears brain trust, […]

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was aliens? I always thought Norwood’s miss was due to the actions of a Romonculus.

litre_cola
King Hippo

Isn’t this one of the new, very thinly disguised anti-Semitic ah’m just asking questions strange how that bothers u smgdh tropes?

litre_cola

He is an absolute pinhead. Was abused in junior hockey, then the drugs happened in the pros now is a hardcore Freedumber and wants Trudeau arrested for treason, which makes no sense.

He and an ex olympic figure skater Jamie Sale are doing freedom shows across conservative canada.

Doktor Zymm

Ok. I can also name random words and point out that they are different. KOALAS ARE NOT DUMBWAITERS OR INTERNATIONAL XENON

litre_cola

BC Dick may be evacuated from K-Town.

His federal representative tweeted today about her issues with the carbon tax…. not about her constituents. People suck.

https://bc.ctvnews.ca/structures-burned-people-trapped-as-parts-of-b-c-s-okanagan-ordered-to-evacuate-1.6524568

King Hippo

Look, when your town and/or province burn down, all you really need is FREEDUM FROM TAXES

King Hippo

Am I embarrassed to be watching Black Panthers/Vertically Enhanced Persons? Yes. But I am very much doing so, and ready to unleash my Young/Mingo stack on the fantasy-verse.

Gumbygirl

I’m skipping this one because I need to watch the news/ weather, but I’ll try to catch some of the second game.

King Hippo

Good golly, I remember this because of my massive migraine (should’ve guessed it was aliens). I had it on (quietly) in the background, but really only could pull myself up to watch that last drive. Poor Bills Mafia.

WCS

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