Sexy Friday – 20230818

TGIF! What a weekend we have ahead! Week 2 of the NFL preseason is underway, now featuring some starters. Although last night’s “game” was not a harbinger of great things to come. EPL week 2 is here, and the WWC final as well.

Survival – Personal Edition

Let’s do some ice fishing. Now remember, this is a survival version, not a weekend warrior thing. No powered drills, tents, or heaters will be considered here. Might as well just go to the local fish store for all the challenge that provides.

  • First we need bait. Ideally we want some live bait. Try to locate ice in a shallow area with small fish underneath. Then drop a rock through that ice and grab a bunch of those tiny fish while they’re stunned. Those will make for some great bait. If you can’t find live bait, then make some lures. These can be fashioned from bird feathers or the down from a sleeping bag. Slap some foil on there if you have some to make it noticeable. Use a safety pin to secure this lure to your hook.
  • Next scout out an area where the big fish are most likely. This will be deep pools, so you’ll need to determine where the deep water is likely to be, such as the outer banks of a bay. Like any fishing, there will be good spots and bad spots for fishing, so don’t be afraid to relocate if you picked the wrong spot initially.
  • Our aim here is to fish the fishes, not sleep with them. As such, you’ll need to avoid thin ice so you don’t fall through. Some things to avoid are dirty ice as the impurities make it weaker; rocks or other protrusions through the ice; eddies and currents underneath that warm up and weaken the ice; on the river avoid the outsides of bends as the faster moving water weakens the ice.
  • Almost time to fish. But first we need to cut a hole in the ice. Here you’re going to use a large knife and/or a saw if available. You don’t need a perfect circle here or a big hole. It only needs to be large enough to pull out the expected size of fish you want. If you can’t cut a hole with your tools, you can also make a fire directly on the ice to melt the ice instead.
  • Bait your hook with your live bait or use your lure. With the live bait, push the hook through below the bait’s dorsal fin.
  • Now lower your line as deep as possible. Once as deep as you can let it, start slowly pulling it back up to the surface. Make sure to jiggle it up and down as you do so to draw attention to your bait or lure.
  • If everything works and you’re in the right spot, you’ll be catching fish at this point. If you’re successful with that hole, you can preserve the hole from freezing back over by covering it with branches and snow. Also place an identifier on top so you can locate the hole later.
  • If you’re going to continue fishing, make sure to check the stomach of the fish you caught. If they have freshly swallowed fish, reserve those for live bait. If there’s partially digested food, save that to use as chum before your next session.

Way to go ice fisherman! Go enjoy that fresh fish next to a warm fire back at camp.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!

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Brick Meathook

Next week’s “Sexy Friday Survival Guide”: Preventing Lube Oil Starvation in Your Porsche Engine in One Easy Step

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BugEyedBoo

Brain bleach? Yes, please.

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Gumbygirl

Looks like they got the micropeen right, at least!

yeah right

Hurricane?

Is that all you got?

I was in a hurricane. Gloria, back in 1985.
Lost power and shit for days.

Grilled in a hurricane.

The water is still too cold to do much damage.

I’m oddly excited for this.

herodotus450

I think I read a book about this once, an old man vs. a large mass of water,

yeah right

Stupid fucking fish.

Never even got a bite of it.

BugEyedBoo

Hurricane Ike did some crazy meteorological shit and gave us hurricane-force winds in Columbus. All the power company linemen had all hopped in their trucks to help out, so nobody was left to fix our power when the trees knocked down all the power lines. We lost power for five or six days, but the weather was gorgeous.

yeah right

My lead in my 2nd department is from Ohio and he said the same thing this morning when we were making contingency plans for Monday.

That storm left an impression.

BugEyedBoo

My First World problems were that I had to run an extension cord from my generator to the bedroom so I could make my World of Warcraft raid times. That, and I had to fill the toilet with water from my pond.

yeah right

You…

Have a pond?

I’m not even sure what that is?

BugEyedBoo

.

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Gumbygirl

Gumby did storm recovery for Ike, they had a bunch of rv’s and camped out at the University of Akron. His team went into New Orleans under police escort while Katrina was still going, they were setting up mobile cell towers and refueling the generators that power them. That camp was in a Target parking lot. He loved running storm recovery projects.

SonOfSpam

I THINK I GOT YOUR ALIAS
THAT YOU’VE BEEN LIVING UNDER

yeah right

Don’t make me play the song.

yeah right

Dammit

Gumbygirl
Brick Meathook

Gosh, I remember when I was young man, handsome and well hung. I didn’t have a dime to my name, but the gals were just all over me, loving me and pleasing me and doing whatever I wanted.

Now I’m old and the youthful looks are gone, well not really. But I have a lot of money so the gals are still all over me, doing whatever I want, etc etc, but it just doesn’t seem the same. I think I’m going to get a dog. And a motorcycle. And maybe a big quadrophonic sound system to play my 8-track tapes . . . ooh yeah ooh yeah oh god ooh yeah . . .

/starts fucking the sound system/motorcycle/dog

BugEyedBoo

This was you back in the day, huh?

BugEyedBoo

.

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Brick Meathook

Sorry I forgot you were here! You’ll get a chuckle out of this one:

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SonOfSpam

Angels just made a triple play (in the field not batting!) and Ohtani has hit a grand slam, in short, I shoulda been there but whatevs.

SonOfSpam

Well, they don’t have the storied history of the Mariners.

SonOfSpam

No we lost, so I drink. It’s a thing we have.

Doktor Zymm

The Atlantis resort in the Bahamas flooded a while back. But what do you expect when you name something after a place that SUNK INTO THE SEA?

Horatio Cornblower

Played poker tonight like I have never played it before and was not familiar with the concept at all.

Came home and though, “at least I can get the laundry folded and not have to do that tomorrow.”

That’s when I found out that, while the dryer had been running, it had not been spinning, and a full load of wet laundry had been sitting for two days.

That laundry is now all hung up outside, the basement smells like wet socks, the dryer is in several pieces, (issue was a broken belt, can’t get a new one until tomorrow), and I do believe it’s Lagunitas time.

Doktor Zymm

I did laundry yesterday and I had to run one of the dryers thrice, as it turned out the heat was broken on that particular dryer. That’s $2.50 I’ll never get back. This shit is why I take my clothes to Chicago to do laundry when I can. Also why laundry is the worst chore ever and I would make billions if I ever invented my clothes cleaning nanobots.

SonOfSpam

When laundry appliances break, it’s right back to the fucking Stone Age and everything is hell.

Doktor Zymm

Have an urge to play O/8, but play money PLO will have to do. I made $60k fake dollars in about 15 minutes!

BugEyedBoo

FIX. THAT. BELT!

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2Pack

I am going ice fishing after party with lady number 3. She said I can have cookies.

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Brick Meathook

Has anyone seen my keys?

Never mind here they are.

Doktor Zymm

Which is the better name, popcorn or puffed endosperm?

Brick Meathook

Cum shot

Game Time Decision

They are interviewing Jeff Garcia on the CFL broadcast. He looks olllllllllllld

Doktor Zymm

I bought some California Peach ice cream the other day and it was disappointing. Now I want Cherry Garcia

Gumbygirl

I just had a Fudgsicle, for medicinal purposes. All the fleurs around here are making my allergies act up. I have itchy eyes, a runny nose and a cough. The cough could be from something else, not gonna lie! And there’s been a burnt rubber kind of smell outside today. Zhut alors, maybe it is a tumoUr!

yeah right

Might want to invest in some sandbags. Y’all are kind of targeted in for this storm.

Gumbygirl

I was thinking of going to the Home Depot for this gizmo I saw, like one of those things that block out a draft, but for water. I’m only worried about the back door, it’s on a slight downslope. If we get water in the front, it’s a biblical situation and we’re fucked no matter what we do.

ballsofsteelandfury

I suggest sandbags and plenty of them. The good part is that you only need bags. You have plenty of sand in the desert!

Gumbygirl

I still have to get out there, let’s not count our chickens before they cross the road!

Wakezilla

So, I fell. Mrs. Zilla said that my knee and shin looked green for a minute. It now looks like I have a second knee below my first one. I can sort of walk, so I don’t think anything is broken. When I bend my knee, it feels like my MCL is pulling.

Anyone have this before? I’m thinking bad bruise

Sharkbait

I hyperextended my knee once. Couldn’t even bend it for a few days after. Pretty sure I sprained my MCL

WCS

If you start to feel or hear (yes, hear) things pop or grind, get it looked at.

Game Time Decision

It’s nawt a tumoUr

Doktor Zymm

Knees (and hamstrings for that matter) are whiny bastards. I’m pretty sure I eventually figured out what was going on with mine, and I think it was just kneeling too hard all at once that fucked up the patellar tendon. Just ice it and see if it’s still bad in a week, then worry

Horatio Cornblower

Buddy, if it looks like you have two knees on the same leg I doubt it’s a bruise. Go get it looked at.

Brick Meathook

In late June I came back east for a 10 day trip. I’ve been here 2 months and just extended 2 more weeks. I’m going to miss the hurricane and I’m kind of disappointed.

Doktor Zymm

It’s fun back east, but weird weather is definitely worth being around for. I’ll be in LA next Friday, but it’ll all be over by then. Hope we at least get some heavy showers in the Bay

King Hippo

If your FFL won’t let you be actually dirty, Milking Arthur Smith would be viable

Doktor Zymm

JROD, Is 8 more than AROD!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To be technically correct, it’s nine more.

Doktor Zymm

/beginovershare
The guy I’ve been fucking for the past 15 years or so is a Futurama fan, and knows that ‘How Hermes Requisitioned his Groove Back’ is my favorite episode, but has never quite grasped how incredibly sexy this line can be when delivered properly
/endovershare

Redshirt

Bengals are in full “Fuck it, we’ll take the tie” mode.

King Hippo

Didn’t y’all MOST GLORIOUS DRAW with these very Falcons recently? Or am I just doing too many drugs?

Redshirt

Eagles twice and Panthers.

King Hippo

maybe was confusing birdie types. Ain’t no orthologist or some shit

Sharkbait

Still can’t believe I got to see a most glorious tie in person.

Redshirt

Ha! TV Broadcast didn’t even air the final play.

King Hippo

TOUCHDOWN, Elizabeth Barrett Browning WKRP in teh clutch

Redshirt

Good: Bengals 3rd String QB is outplaying the backup.
Bad: Oh, great. We’re gonna go into the Regular Season starting our 3rd String QB.

Wakezilla

What happened to Burrow?

BugEyedBoo

Went to shit and the hogs ate him.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ll be prepping the house tomorrow for the arrival of the first Tropical Storm in LA since 1939. I’ve actually been in one when it made landfall. That shit is no joke.

King Hippo

What y’all gonna pick up on loot?

Gumbygirl

I am hoping like hell my SIL gets home tomorrow night, and I can leave Riverside and get home before all hell breaks loose. Gumby is HOME ALONE! There’s absolutely going to be flooding out there, I have no idea exactly where. We didn’t need flood insurance, they told us. We shall find out!

ballsofsteelandfury

Are you in a flood zone? As long as you’re on high ground, you should be alright but be VERY careful around dry creek and river beds. Those are going to flood and bring tons of debris with them.

Gumbygirl

Not in a flood zone, but right at the base of the mountains , so the runoff from that plus inches of rain in completely baked sand may be a problem. If it rains hard enough, any place can flood.

Doktor Zymm

Stay in, and if you do have to go out don’t do anything you know you shouldn’t like driving through water. Flash floods are probably going to be the biggest thing, and those will not be an issue if you are indoors. Can you call your SIL and make sure she gets back ASAP?

Gumbygirl

She changed her flight to Saturday instead of Sunday, but she isn’t getting in until late. She’s flying from South Dakota, not a lot of choices! I have to stay with the dog and the cats, her two other friends with keys are out of town, and the dog hates them anyway!

Doktor Zymm

Good luck! I hope it all works out well

Brick Meathook

I sat under one in the Atlantic off Florida once. We were rocking a bit at 150 feet so we dove to 400’ and the rocking was only very slight, so we could watch our movies in peace.

Gumbygirl

Gumby had to surface transit into Kings Bay during a horrendous storm once. He said it was a barf fest, they were rocking and rolling.

ballsofsteelandfury

MILK AND COOKIES!!

King Hippo

but enough about Arthur Smith’s bouncy sideline titties!

Wakezilla

If you like Ice Football and Sudoku, you should check out Puckdoku. It’s lots of fun. There’s a new game every day.

https://www.puckdoku.com/

Sharkbait

I love puckdoku

Wakezilla

The thousands of hours I played the NHL series by EA in the 90s has paid off. I scored a 3 in uniqueness today

Sharkbait

Holy damn that’s impressive. I got a 0.0 on a player last week

Wakezilla

Amazing! I got that once. It was pretty rad

Doktor Zymm

I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m pretty entertained at the whole LA Hurricane thing. Tips for hurricane parties:
1) Expect the power to go out, have lots of candles and coolers full of ice
2) When the power does go out, eat all the popsicles you have. Dip them in vodka for a fun treat!
3) Be careful when going outside, you might see some neat stuff like lightning blowing up the transformer for your neighborhood, but you also might have to dodge some trees that are slowly falling down
4) If a neighbor asks you if you are okay after watching a tree slowly fall down in your vicinity, don’t hesitate to reassure them and offer them a popsicle and some vodka, disasters are great for making new friends!

yeah right

Kind of hard to get a read on the landfall and timing.

I just hope these inexperienced chuckleheads don’t start that hoarding shit again. Catalina folks are prepping and guess who’s about 26 miles due east of them?

ballsofsteelandfury

Camp Pendleton?

yeah right

Oh yes. That’s right there. San Diego and Imperial County are in the mix.

Doktor Zymm

Gin, coconut lime bitters, diet coke. Should be okay, let’s see

King Hippo

Charlotte FC just had an ad at HT, they have the same coloUr scheme and everything. Leaning into the Lesser Black Panthers vibe.

Brocky

Evening, can’t hang around long, this is this week’s contribution:

Spoiler

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King Hippo

It is almost Bears season!

King Hippo

I don’t think the Black Panthers’ 2nd string is gonna FREE HUEY anytime soon.

Brocky

Hey man, Wakanda Forever wasn’t THAT bad

Doktor Zymm

If you do fall through the ice, you can still be okay. Getting out of ice is actually pretty similar to getting back in a kayak, maybe even a little easier!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QKpAzvXSldA

WCS

At least you’re honest.

WCS

My brother got caught in riptide off Ocean City, MD when he was maybe… 11?; lifeguard got him.

Never forgot to swim parallel to shore if that happens again.

WCS

EDIT: He tells me he was actually eight by his memory.

Either way, don’t panic, and swim parallel to the beach, kiddos. You’ll be fine until help arrives.

Gumbygirl

Did he get some fries from Thrashers to make him feel better?

WCS

Knowing our dad, my brother probably got yelled at for being a dumbass instead.

King Hippo

One presumes he never stopped giving you shit about it. AS HE SHOULD.

Doktor Zymm

ICE FOR AN EYE

King Hippo

Tales From a Montana Childhood

litre_cola

At least you got out of there before the inevitable opiate addiction.

King Hippo

DON’T KINK SHAME BRUH!!!!

WCS

I thought dropping books on my brother’s back was mean…

Gumbygirl

That happened to my brothers too. Older one pulled younger one out of the pond, and then made him run the whole way home because he was afraid he’d freeze to death, and older would be in trouble.

Doktor Zymm

Poor guy goes back in 3 times

Doktor Zymm

I love the end
“I hope this was helpful because it was horrible to make”

TheRevanchist

It’s good to be home.

King Hippo

and hopefully done shitting blood!

TheRevanchist

If I do, or any of a bunch of symptoms I know too well, straight to the ER, or die.

Other than that, perfectly okay.

King Hippo

that is a good way to accept the need for prompt medical attention!

Gumbygirl

You’d better do what they tellz ya, don’t forget our No Dying rule!

scotchnaut

Still mad at Tabula…

King Hippo

RITE??? Think of all the books he coulda recommeded to us!

scotchnaut

I was in a similar spot 11 months ago. I just told myself that it wasn’t going to happen to me. And it didn’t. It’s just that easy!

WCS

Glad you’re glad to home.