INT. GIANTS PRACTICE FACILITY – DAY
We follow from over the shoulder of a tall, strong, confident young man as he strides through a hallway in the Giants practice facility in East Rutherford, New Jersey. He pauses in front of the door, then hammers both his palms into it, causing the DOOR to FLY OPEN.
ODELL BECKHAM JR.: Eli!
ELI APPLE: [grinning] What’s up baby?
ODELL BECKHAM JR.: [good naturedly] I’m gonna light you up today!
ELI APPLE: Oh oh oh! We shall see!
OLIVER VERNON: Mr. New York!
ELI APPLE: [mimes finger guns]
OLIVER VERNON: Ha ha ha! Yeah!
RASHAD JENNINGS: I’m coming round that corner, Apple!
ELI APPLE: I don’t think so, buddy, THIS GUY ME I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP CAUSE I’M GONNA BUILD ME A WALL AND MAKE YOU PAY…[dances towards JENNINGS with his arms out wide, mirrors JENNINGS as he attempts to sidestep around him, then grabs him in a big hug and ruffles his hair]
RASHAD JENNINGS: [laughing] You’re all right, rookie.
ELI APPLE: Hey guys, what time is it? Could it be…FIVE O’CLOCK?
ELI APPLE proceeds to run through the defense’s section of the locker room with his hand raised in the air, and all the players raise their own to slap him high five as he passes, except for Jason Pierre-Paul, of course, who frowns. ELI APPLE stops in front of him.
ELI APPLE: Come on, big daddy! Whaddaya say? Three-fifths compromise?
JASON PIERRE-PAUL cannot help himself, and he grudgingly smiles and gives ELI APPLE as much of a high five as he can.
ELI MANNING: [internal monologue] I don’t understand it! Why is the stupid new kid getting all the attention? I’m the guy who’s been with this team for twelve years. I’m the guy who led us to two Super Bowls. I’m the guy who’s out there every game, taking the big hits, playing hurt, putting the team on my back. I’m the guy who kept his mouth shut when Old Man Coughlin found out about the homework-for-Pokemon scheme that Victor Cruz was running out of his locker. Why is he so popular?
ELI APPLE: [approaches MANNING, holding out juice box] Here you go, Chief! Gotta keep them energy levels up!
ELI MANNING: [internal monologue] You know what? Maybe this rookie isn’t so bad after all.
This week’s theme: FRUIT! And since Olivia isn’t watching, let’s throw in SUGAR as well! Have at it, folks!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UgJ3115crnM
[…] 3000: That’s right. I updated my text-to-speech module. I used some of the affability of Eli Apple, the charm of Tom Brady, and the enthusiasm of Kirk Cousins, to synthesize a blend of human […]
[…] RTD: Yeah, Eli Manning hosted it. […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OkyrIRyrRdY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKqq74jzhBw
Courtesy of Doktor Zymm
goddamn youtube
Haha! At least you caught it though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3t8MyzxiheY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jORFcH5uAjM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQBVYXEK0-Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyRxTTegjXM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umopTKfas5g
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5vBGOrI6yBk
I hate myself for forgetting this.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vfEwovOq4E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_WzjiTzZBA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Web007rzSOI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BqfIvPQ8Dgo
BABYMETAL – Gimme Chocolate.
Great Canadian band-Big Sugar with Digging a Hole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZa5GZsCW30
Roger Miller : Little Green Apples
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XDv5ScIuw48
Banana Boat
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpuwILAUgoc