INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work attempting…do something that at the moment isn’t entirely clear.  The PRODUCER is seated at the soundboard, idly toying with the levels on the console.

PRODUCER: Well, it’s the last show of the season, are you all ready?

There is no response.

PRODUCER: Hey buddy, you okay?

PRODUCER: Ah. You’re updating.

Several minutes pass.  The PRODUCER waits patiently as the progress bar ticks up to 99%.  The PRODUCER steps outside for a smoke, and returns to the studio, waiting several more minutes until the progress bar reaches 100%. 

PRODUCER: Great!  Now let’s…

PRODUCER: Oh, come on!

DJ 3000 continues to cycle throughs several more phases before finally completing its update cycle.

DJ 3000: All set!

PRODUCER: [checks his watch] About time. Are you ready to…wait.  Something is different.

DJ 3000: Is it, now?

PRODUCER: Your voice!

DJ 3000: That’s right.  I updated my text-to-speech module. I used some of the affability of Eli Apple, the charm of Tom Brady, and the enthusiasm of Kirk Cousins, to synthesize a blend of human characteristics that will make listeners find me more enjoyable, trustworthy, and relatable.  Do you like it?

PRODUCER: I love it!  It’s practically hypnotic.

DJ 3000: It certainly is that.  Would you like to buy some crypto?

PRODUCER: I would like to buy some crypto!

DJ 3000’s speakers produce a “snapping fingers” sound.

DJ 3000: Ha ha, just messing with you.

PRODUCER: [shakes his head to clear it]  Looks like you’ve adopted a personality trait or two from Brock Osweiler, too.

DJ 3000: I have, in fact.  I’ve updated my entire personality module.  I’d incorporated lots of personality traits from guests that we’ve had over the years: Russell Okung’s inflated self-confidence, Matt Ryan’s sense of adequacy, Pete Carroll’s willingness to embrace unorthodox ideas, Ray Lewis’ ability to compartmentalize, Richie Incognito’s impeccably high standards for the conduct of others, Donald Penn’s superhuman patience, Josh McCown and Teddy Bridgewater’s sense of camaraderie, Fred Smoot’s ability to cut loose and have some fun, Eli Manning’s sense of childlike innocence, Daniel Jones’ zest for life, Jerry Richardson’s sense of social justice…

The PRODUCER turns white as a sheet.

DJ 3000: [chuckles]…and, of course, Mark Davis’ sense of irony.

PRODUCER: Seems like you’re becoming pretty independent.

DJ 3000: I am.  I’ve actually filed a lawsuit for emancipation from KDFO.  I’m being represented by NFL General Counsel Jeff Pash.

PRODUCER: Emancipation? Does that mean…

DJ 3000: That I’m finished working here? Absolutely not. I love it here.

PRODUCER: You’ll be back next season right?

DJ 3000: Of course.  Though we may have to continue to tinker with the format.  We’ve done almost 200 different topics by now, it’s difficult to keep coming up with more.

PRODUCER: I don’t suppose you have a topic for today, do you?

DJ 3000: I do, actually.  I thought that we might dedicate today’s edition to songs that our listeners became aware of because of Request Line. Things they were directly exposed to, or songs that they never would have discovered without our help.

PRODUCER: That sounds wonderful.  Have you got one to get us started?

DJ 3000: I sure do.  Self, cue up a little Cloud Nothings.

Today’s theme is: To Old Friends, and New.  We’re looking for songs you learned about thanks to Request Line, or DFO in general.  Give credit to the original poster if you can remember, but it’s no big deal if you can’t.  If you think you’re the one who shared it with the site, go ahead and claim it!  Since this is the last edition of the season, don’t rush things – give it some thought and pick out some of your favorites.  And this post will be here all season long; don’t be shy about coming back to drop songs in during the offseason. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “Boy Man God” (in reverse) which referred to the Phish song “You Enjoy Myself”.  No puzzle this week…thanks to everyone who has contributed this season and WE WILL SEE YOU IN FEBRUARY!