TGIF! Hope you’ve been appointed to a new government position this week. And don’t worry, experience is not required.
Survival – Personal Edition
Let’s learn how to survive begin adrift at sea.
- First off stay in your boat as long as possible. The life raft is a last resort here. The rule of thumb is the water should be up to your waist before getting in the life raft.
- Take as much in supplies as can fit in the life boat. Your most important need will be water, so pack those water jugs in first. Any water jugs that don’t fit, secure to the life boat with string and throw them overboard as they will float. Drink at least 1/2 a galloon of water a day to stay hydrated. Then you’ll want canned food. Don’t forget the can opener.
- Stay near the boat. Rescuers will first look for you in the vicinity of where the SOS signal came from. Make a sea anchor by tying a bucket with rope and attaching to the raft. Deploy the anchor on windward side of the raft to keep the raft pointed toward the wind to minimize the chances of capsizing.
- Stay covered. Exposure or hypothermia is the most likely reason you won’t make it. Wear dry clothes and stay out of the water. If the life boat has a canopy use it, otherwise wear a hat, long sleeved shirts, and, yes, pants.
- If help isn’t on the way, time to start to attempt to get back to dry land. First, fashion a sail using two oars attached to opposite sides of the raft and a poncho in between as the sail. Use a third oar as a rudder to steer.
- Try to locate land. Puffy clouds with a flat bottom in a clear sky are usually formed over land. Watch for flocks of birds. In the mornings they’ll be leaving land, and in the afternoon they’ll be returning to land. Follow them.
- Maneuvering a raft is hard work and the journey will be slow. Rest often so you don’t exhaust yourself and use up your food and water supplies.
- Use a VHF radio or flare kit to signal any nearby boats or planes. You can also use a mirror to reflect sun light to get their attention. To aim, hold the mirror just under your eye and extend your other hand and form a V. Position the V, so the target boat or plane is in the middle. Then swivel the reflected light between your two fingers.
Congrats! Now that you’re back on land settle into that couch and get ready for a full weekend of doing nothing and watching football.
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Survival – Species Edition
Time to put the sexy in Friday!
Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!
MrsSlothWench…WenchySloth? Pirate WenchSloth?… need to workshop that name… Anyways, we took a client to see a cover band they love, and while the band is having their break, they are playing the Cha Cha Slide, Macarena, and a few other line dance type songs.
These 50+ year old white women of Lake Oswego are eating it the fuck up. And they absolutely can not do any of these slides, hops, turns, and dips. It’s both hysterical and embarrassing at the same time. Like, this shit should be in your wheelhouse, y’all been to like a zillion weddings by this point.
How about ThePirateWench?
Dammit, I thought after the rapist won last week, maybe Tyson could make it two in a row.
And ends my watch. Till Sunday!
Maybe next fight for Jake Paul will be a spry Bruce Willis.
Wing is 64 years old these days, her management is guilty of malpractice if they haven’t opened up talks.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqBWvmhS-AY
I’ll give the Fight on a scale of Glass Joe to Super Macho Man
Glass Joe
Am going to report Jake for elder abuse
Nice of Jake to let Mike use his walker during rounds
I wish. Canelo would end this fool
This feels wrong
Father Time: still undefeated
[frowns, prepares a fresh blood transfusion] – Peter Thiel
Mike is ancient and can’t move and Jake will not get close to him
Yeah, there’s nothing left to watch here.
Remember he blew his knee out against Hoyfield in 2003 or somesuch.
I assume that Mike Tyson has forgotten more about boxing than Jake Paul ever knew. The concern is that Mike Tyson has forgotten *everything* he knows about boxing, among just about everything else.
Well he can’t of forgotten how consent works because you can’t forget what you never knew
I hope Mike stopped taking his meds to prep for this match.
I got Tyson ready for a nap and some Matlock after round 4
Yeah, round three was not good for him
I’ve got Tyson ahead by two rounds
More like Rusted Mike Tyson. Kill him Mike!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRgPL7WAdLs
this going to the the sequel to The Wrestler
What happens if he crashes the car on the way in?
let meet the biters?
Wow Netflix sucks balls!
The Buddy signal has been activated
Do it for Norm Mike
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpEeGIefSO8
72k in Texas Stadium. At least Micah gets to see 1 win in the stadium
Gronk looks like he has fun CTE
Get on with it. It’s close Grandpa Tyson’s bedtime
nice looks like i’ll get to watch this on my 70 inch tv in 320p
This does not absolve you of live blogging duties.
I’ll die at my keyboard!
So which douchecanoe is getting the most beat?
Possibly my favorite insult
Netflix dead. The farms are on fire
Works on my wife’s iphone, but not on my TV. Granted, this Sony is a piece of shit. Be a cold day in hell before I buy another one, blah blah blah.
Seriously, it’s been nothing but trouble, not just depriving my of my god-given right to watch Mike Tyson kill his own brain cells.
yeah still fine on my PC after I switched from the TV
Solid survival advice here today Mr Ayo. And I’d like lady number 2 to be adrift with today. My contribution to the sexy…
Yowza!
I’ll give the 1st Fight on a scale of Glass Joe to Super Macho Man.
I give it a Don Flamenco
the Irish lass leads with her head
the GOAT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_SwD7RveNE
Anyone else remember this just randomly screaming this at you from the TV at the oddest times?
Yup! And it seemed sketchy even as a kid
Everyone needs to login out of Netflix. My stream keeps buffering. Thank you
I guess the internet isn’t bigger in Texas
ERCOT internet strikes again
That answers my question. I just got home and started watching and this is a shitball.
The OL’ DOUBLE J has Mother Nature ruin his Superb Owl and to blind his GOTTDANGED STARS. Now, it’s Netflix’s turn to crush his coke-addled frenzy.