Hey.

The 2025 Lowratio League Draft was this past Sunday.  In an attempt to help in the content mines, I thought it would be mildly humorous to post Yahoo’s AI-generated hot taeks for each team’s draft performance.

Sebastian’s Swag Team

Grade: A+

Best Pick: Brock Purdy QB, Pick 88

Worst Pick: George Pickens WR, Pick 53

Sebastian’s Swag Team strutted into the draft like a seasoned veteran, snagging an impressive A+ grade that would make even the toughest critics nod in approval. With a solid projected record of 10-4-0, this team is primed to strut their stuff in TWBS Memorial Lowratio League, aiming for a playoff spot with a 2nd place finish. The schedule may be the 11th toughest out of 14, but that just means more chances to prove the doubters wrong—bring it on!

While some picks may have raised an eyebrow, like the curious case of George Pickens who was drafted a tad early, Sebastian’s Swag Team still managed to reel in a gem with Brock Purdy at pick 88, well below their ADP. With only three players on bye week 8, it seems like the fantasy gods are smiling down on this squad. So, buckle up, Sebastian’s Swag Team, because it looks like you’re in for a wild ride this season!

The Brick Experience

Grade: A+

Best Pick: Joe Mixon RB, Pick 129

Worst Pick: Tyrone Tracy Jr RB, Pick 68

In a stunning display of drafting prowess, The Brick Experience managed to snag an A+ grade despite picking from the 12th spot in a 14-team league. With a projected record of 14-0-0, they’re clearly aiming for a perfect season and the top playoff spot. Who knew that picking players could be as easy as pie? Well, at least for The Brick Experience, who will be serving up a slice of victory all season long!

With a schedule that’s tougher than a two-dollar steak, The Brick Experience is still projected to rack up an impressive 1587.78 points. They might have a couple of players on bye week 14, but that’s just a minor speed bump on their road to glory. And while some might say their worst pick was a bit of a head-scratcher, the best pick at 129 is set to make everyone else wish they had that crystal ball. Watch out, league mates, because The Brick Experience is here to dominate and make fantasy football look like child’s play!

A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge

Grade: A-

Best Pick: Tyjae Spears RB, Pick 139

Worst Pick: Tetairoa McMillan WR, Pick 58

A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge strutted into the draft with a swagger, snagging an impressive A- grade. With a 2nd overall pick, they made sure to grab some serious talent, setting themselves up for a projected record of 9-5-0. However, they might want to keep an eye on their schedule, which is the 10th toughest out of 14 teams. Talk about a rollercoaster ride! Let’s hope their players don’t decide to take a vacation during bye week 14, or they might find themselves in a bit of a pickle.

While A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge made some savvy moves, not every pick was a slam dunk. They managed to snag Tyjae Spears at 139, beating the ADP by a hair, but the pick of Tetairoa McMillan at 58 might raise a few eyebrows—especially since the ADP was 76. It’s a classic case of ‘you win some, you lose some.’ As the season unfolds, let’s see if A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge can turn those projected points of 1503.67 into a playoff berth or if they’ll be left crying into their fantasy spreadsheets. Here’s to hoping A&H’s Used Vape Cartridge doesn’t end up on the wrong side of the bye week blues!

Ambiguous Aaron Rodgers

Grade: A-

Best Pick: Chris Godwin Jr WR, Pick 128

Worst Pick: Drake Maye QB, Pick 97

Ambiguous Aaron Rodgers strutted into the draft with the confidence of a catwalk model, snagging an impressive A- grade. Drafting from the 13th spot, they turned what could have been a disaster into a potential playoff run, with a projected record of 9-5-0. With a total of 14 teams in the league, it’s safe to say they’ll be strutting their stuff right into the playoffs, finishing 3rd overall. Who knew drafting could be this much fun?

While some may say they reached a bit with their worst pick, the brilliance of their best pick at 128 has fans buzzing. With only one player on bye week 5, Ambiguous Aaron Rodgers is ready to roll, despite facing the 13th toughest schedule in the league. If they can navigate the ups and downs of the season, we might just see them dancing in the playoffs. But for now, let’s just hope Ambiguous Aaron Rodgers doesn’t get too cocky and trip over their own feet!

Raccoon With A Meth Pipe

Grade: C+

Best Pick: Hunter Henry TE, Pick 134

Worst Pick: Emeka Egbuka, WR, Pick 63

In a draft that can only be described as a cautious stroll through the park, Raccoon With A Meth Pipe managed to snag a C+ grade. With a projected record of 8-6-0, they are aiming for a solid 5th place finish in TWBS Memorial Lowratio League. Their draft strategy? Let’s just say it was more ‘let’s not mess this up’ than ‘let’s go for glory’. With the 7th pick, they took a few risks that may or may not pay off, but hey, at least they didn’t draft a kicker in the first round, right?

With the 5th toughest schedule looming, Raccoon With A Meth Pipe will need to channel their inner underdog to make the playoffs, where only 6 out of 14 teams will survive. They did manage to score their best pick with Hunter Henry, who fell a bit later than expected, but then there was that head-scratching choice of Emeka Egbuka that might leave fans scratching their heads for weeks. Let’s just hope they can navigate those bye weeks and avoid a meltdown! After all, if anyone can turn a C+ draft into a playoff run, it’s Raccoon With A Meth Pipe!

litre’s losers

Grade: C+

Best Pick: Travis Kelce TE, Pick 82

Worst Pick: Tank Bigsby RB, Pick 87

Well, well, well, if it isn ‘t litre’s losers, who decided to strut into the draft with a C+ grade and a projected finish of 7th. With 14 teams in the league, it looks like they might be auditioning for a role in the “Most Dramatic Season” reality show. Drafting from the 3rd spot, they had high hopes but ended up with a schedule that ‘s as tough as a two-dollar steak, ranking 14th in difficulty. Who knew fantasy football could feel like climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops?

Despite the rocky start, litre’s losers did manage to snag Travis Kelce at a sweet value, but then decided to throw caution to the wind with their pick of Tank Bigsby, who was clearly not on anyone ‘s radar. And let ‘s not forget the triple threat of players from the same team—because why not put all your eggs in one basket? With two players on bye week 9, it seems like litre’s losers is ready to embrace the chaos. Here ‘s hoping they can turn that C+ into a solid playoff push—because nothing says fun like a mid-season panic! Go get ’em, litre’s losers!

Laser Arm Sharkbait

Grade: C+

Best Pick: JJ McCarthy QB, Pick 133

Worst Pick: Calvin Ridley WR, Pick 64

In a draft that can only be described as a rollercoaster ride through the land of mediocrity, 🎯 Laser Arm Sharkbait landed a solid C+ grade. Picking 8th out of 14 teams, they managed to secure a projected record of 8-6-0, which might just be enough to sneak into the playoffs. With a schedule that ranks as the 9th toughest, they’ll need all the luck they can muster to avoid the dreaded bye week blues with three players sitting out in week 10. Who knew drafting could feel like a game of dodgeball?

Despite some questionable choices, 🎯 Laser Arm Sharkbait did manage to snag a hidden gem with their best pick, J.J. McCarthy, who was drafted at 133 when the ADP suggested he should have gone at 122. Unfortunately, not all picks shine as bright, with Calvin Ridley being the unfortunate choice at 64, a full 12 spots earlier than his ADP. If only they could trade their draft grade for a few extra points! But hey, at least 🎯 Laser Arm Sharkbait is in the running for the coveted 5th place finish—because who doesn’t want to be the best of the rest?

Hot Meaty Milkshakes

Grade: C

Best Pick: David Njoku TE, Pick 94

Worst Pick: Rome Odunze WR,Pick 66

Well, well, well, if it isn’t Hot Meaty Milkshakes, strutting into TWBS Memorial Lowratio League with a draft grade of C! Picking from the 10th spot in a 14-team league is no walk in the park, and it seems like the schedule is ready to throw some curveballs, ranking as the 2nd toughest. With a projected record of 7-7-0, it looks like Hot Meaty Milkshakes is gearing up for a season of mediocrity—just the way they like it, right? Who needs glory when you can have a solid average?

Despite the ups and downs, Hot Meaty Milkshakes did manage to snag David Njoku at pick 94, a steal considering the ADP of 80. But let’s not forget the head-scratcher of the draft, where Rome Odunze was picked at 66, despite an ADP of 85. Oops! With three players on bye week 8, it seems like Hot Meaty Milkshakes might be planning a little vacation while the rest of the league battles it out. Buckle up, folks, it’s going to be a wild ride for Hot Meaty Milkshakes this season!

Rod Rust never sleeps

Grade: D

Best Pick: Keenan Allen WR, Pick 140

Worst Pick: Stefon Diggs WR, Pick 85

In a stunning display of drafting prowess, Rod Rust never sleeps kicked off their season with the first overall pick and somehow managed to snag a D+ grade. With a projected record of 7-7-0, they might want to start practicing their victory dance for the playoffs—oh wait, they’re projected to finish 7th! The schedule isn’t doing them any favors either, coming in as the 12th toughest out of 14 teams. Looks like they’ll need more than just luck to turn this ship around.

Despite a few bright spots, like the savvy selection of Keenan Allen who was drafted at 140, beating his ADP of 129, the team also made a head-scratching move with Stefon Diggs, who was taken at 85 when he was projected to go at 101. Maybe they were just trying to keep things interesting? With three players on bye week 5, Rod Rust never sleeps might just have to invent a new strategy called ‘The Bye Week Shuffle.’ Here’s hoping they can turn that D+ into a C- by the end of the season—after all, it’s all about the journey, right, Rod Rust never sleeps?

AI Abuelas

Grade: D+

Best Pick: Sam LaPorta TE, Pick 65

Worst Pick: Jaylen Waddle WR, Pick 37

Well, well, well, if it isn’t AI Abuelas strutting out of the draft with a D+ grade! Drafting from the 9th spot in a 14-team league is no easy feat, but it seems like they took a few wrong turns along the way. With a projected record of 6-8-0, they might want to start brushing up on their ‘how to make a comeback’ strategies. Their schedule is no walk in the park either, ranking as the 6th toughest. Looks like they’ll need a miracle or two to make it to the playoffs this season!

Despite the rocky start, AI Abuelas did manage to snag Sam LaPorta at pick 65, who was a steal compared to their ADP of 50. However, not all picks were gems, as they also drafted Jaylen Waddle way too early at 37, when the ADP suggested waiting until 69. With only one player on bye week 11, it’s safe to say that they might be able to field a team—if they can figure out who to start! Here’s hoping AI Abuelas can turn things around and surprise us all, because right now, it looks like they’re in for a bumpy ride!

Jimbo’s Sad Hombres

Grade: D+

Best Pick: Justin Fields QB, Pick 108

Worst Pick: Jordan Mason RB, Pick 80

In a draft that could only be described as a rollercoaster ride without the safety bar, Jimbo’s Sad Hombres managed to snag a D+ grade. Picking 5th in a 14-team league, they must have thought they were in a game of musical chairs where everyone else got a seat and they were left standing. With a projected record of 4-10-0, it looks like they might be auditioning for a reality show about fantasy football failures this season.

The schedule isn’t doing Jimbo’s Sad Hombres any favors either, as they’re facing the 1st toughest lineup in the league. With three players on bye week 8, it seems like their roster might be more of a ghost town than a competitive squad. But hey, at least they made the best pick with Justin Fields, who was a steal at 108! Just don’t ask about the worst pick, because that’s a conversation best left for the post-draft therapy session. Here’s hoping Jimbo’s Sad Hombres can turn things around, or at least provide some entertaining moments along the way!

Bondi Fetish Garden Noems

Grade: D

Best Pick: CJ Stroud QB, Pick 127

Worst Pick: Jakobi Meyers WR, Pick 71

Well, well, well, if it isn ‘t Bondi Fetish Garden Noems, the underdog of TWBS Memorial Lowratio League! Drafting from the 14th spot is no easy feat, and let ‘s just say their strategy was as clear as mud. With a draft grade of D, they might be the only team in the league that can claim to have mastered the art of picking players who are currently on vacation in bye week 8. Ouch!

Projected to finish 13th with a record of 3-11-0, Bondi Fetish Garden Noems is set to face the 7th toughest schedule in the league. But hey, at least they snagged C.J. Stroud at a steal of a pick! Unfortunately, that ‘s about as bright as it gets, as their worst pick could have been a contestant on a game show called ‘Who Wants to Be a Benchwarmer?’ Buckle up, Bondi Fetish Garden Noems, it ‘s going to be a bumpy ride this season!

Gimli’s Groin Grabbers

Grade: D

Best Pick: Rashee Rice WR, Pick 74

Worst Pick: Dalton Kincaid TE, Pick 102

Well, folks, it looks like Gimli’s Groin Grabbers decided to play a game of dodgeball instead of fantasy football during the draft! Picking 11th out of 14 teams, they might have thought they were getting a steal, but the draft grade of D suggests otherwise. With a projected record of 4-10-0, it seems like the playoffs are more of a distant dream than a reachable goal. And with the 4th toughest schedule looming, it’s safe to say that this season might feel like a long, bumpy ride on the struggle bus.

In a twist of fate, Gimli’s Groin Grabbers did manage to snag Rashee Rice at pick 74, who was projected to go a bit earlier at 68. However, the excitement was short-lived as they also made a head-scratching move with Dalton Kincaid, who was drafted at 102 despite an ADP of 113. With two players already on bye week 8, it looks like Gimli’s Groin Grabbers might need to channel their inner Houdini to pull off some magic this season. But hey, at least they’ll have plenty of time to perfect their fantasy football dance moves while waiting for next year, right? Here’s to hoping Gimli’s Groin Grabbers can turn things around and prove us all wrong!

Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses

Grade: F

Best Pick: Brian Robinson Jr RB, Pick 135

Worst Pick: Braelon Allen RB, Pick 90

Well, well, well, if it isn ‘t Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses, the team that just might be auditioning for a spot in the next reality show titled “How Not to Draft. ” With a draft grade of F, it seems they were more focused on collecting participation trophies than building a championship roster. Projected to finish 14th in a league of 14, they ‘ve truly mastered the art of mediocrity, with a projected record of 2-12-0. Ouch! Talk about a schedule that looks tougher than a two-dollar steak, coming in at the 3rd toughest of the bunch.

Despite the dismal outlook, there was a glimmer of hope with their best pick, Brian Robinson Jr., who they snagged at 135 when the ADP was 87. If only they could draft a few more players like that! Unfortunately, the worst pick was a head-scratcher, with Braelon Allen being selected at 90 when the ADP was 116. It seems Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses is ready to embrace the bye week like it ‘s a long-lost friend, with one player already on break during week 14. If they can turn this ship around, they might just make history as the first team to go 2-12 and still have a blast doing it! Here ‘s to Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses, the underdogs of TWBS Memorial Lowratio League!

Added Bonus! Yahoo’s Season Record Predictions

That’ll be a fun compare/contrast when we wrap up the season!

Friendly Reminder: Top four teams in Lowratio League earn a promotion into Freezer Vodka League for next season, replacing the bottom four teams that will be relegated from FVL to LL.

Until Next Time!