Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Yeah, well, with the market readjustment from a few years ago and the fluctuating interest rates, there was a retrenchment from some of the core infrastructure investments[in bed] .
Hampton ( Severance)
Just get the new mattress, it’s only going to be more expensive next time.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Lol
Gumbygirl
Bengals and Math Monday Morning Joke:
“On a scale of 1-10, how confident are you going into tonight’s game?”
“A scale of 1-10? -10.”
Redshirt
Back from vacation. If there’s a way to gently glide back into work after a week+ off, I haven’t found it.
We stayed at a Quality Inn in Bluefield WV. I’m mentioning this because it was the most disgusting hotel room that I’ve ever been in. We were too beat to say fuck it and find another room, because Bluefield isn’t exactly a bustling metropolis. Hotel needs to be burned down, and another built in its place. So gross. I picked it, and I apologized to the missus for the entire next day. I think I’ll go apologize to her some more.
Beach was nice and quiet. Went to Ocracoke, was touristy.
WV tourism photo. We did a little blue highways side trip on US 60/US 19 from Charleston to Beckley. When I grew up we made that trip a few times, before the New River Gorge bridge was built. Passed through Randy Moss’ hometown of Rand WV. This is the Hawk’s Nest State Park scenic overlook. Saw it as a kid, lo those many years ago. Got there at the magic hour totally by accident.
BugEyedBoo
Furthermore, 😁 🇵🇷✊🏼
Don T
“Chat GPT, how do I fuck a girl?”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
“Chat GPT, how do I coach a professional football team?”
Redshirt
“Based on those two questions, nice to meet you Urban Meyer.”
SonOfSpam
If i was super rich here’s what I would do;
Hire top notch ninja spies with cameras and send them to every game in every stadium.
They would be instructed to locate and record anyone wearing one of those oversized baseball hats.
These images would use face recognition software to identify the person and where they live.
Then, a different breed of ninjas would beat them with a canvas bag full of rocks until they got the message to stop wearing those stupid goddamn hats.
jjfozz
Wow it’s been awhile, still see a few familiar names here.
Romonobyl
Bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrgggggh
i hope this is satire, but prob nawt
LMAO. He actually made the Ryder Cup about Toronto 🤣 pic.twitter.com/x2IAkHxOMe
— Toronto Sports Network (@TSN_Parody) September 29, 2025
Game Time Decision
The fucked up Arthur screenshots are just top notch.
Sharkbait
There’s a whole catalog of them.
Brocky
As a former CPS worker and lifelong social worker no matter what job I have, all I can say about Mr. Hill is: Good.
I hope it never heals. May he die alone, unmourned, and unloved.
NotShogunButShogun
Sharkbait
RIP Jane Goodall.
(and again, Death, there are SO MANY more deserving candidates)
SonOfSpam
CJ Stroud was asked about ways to improve his explosiveness:
“I feel like I’m getting old. I’m not as quick as I used to be. I was watching my high school stuff a couple days ago… I was like 180… I was rollin.”
What did that O-line do to CJ?
Wakezilla
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS INCLUDING YOUR AGE AND WEIGHT AND THE GAPS IN YOUR O-LINE
Doktor Zymm
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ In this
┃╱╱╲╲ house
╱╱╭╮╲╲ we root for
▔▏┗┛▕▔
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
Scorigami
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
Sharkbait
Just got back from my second walk.8300 steps today, woohoo! Not bad for an old fatass with a very sketchy hip. I see the Rams still haven’t arrived. They must be stuck in traffic.
Gumbygirl
Bear with me on this one.
Setting: my wife, my son, and my self are trying to figure out what he can do for his service project. (He goes to a Jesuit school.)
My son: “Why do I even have to do this?”
My wife: “Because it’s what good Catholics do.”
My son: “Oh, I thought they hated Jews and Muslims, that’s what your good Catholic mom does.”
I walked into the other room, fist pumped, almost choked on my laughter, and then came back into the room to issue a very lackluster reprimand.
jjfozz
Because every 105 pound labrador thinks its a lap dog
jjfozz
1 and 3, please and thank you and why are you aiming that mace can at me??
/also I am picking up Wolven Sort Legacy Child at airport at 11:40p, so I took a nap
//cats are passing a head cold back and forth, now Noodles has it worst
///to give Noodles a break from Bronco, I shut the door for my nap (Noodles was napping alongside, as he likes to do
////I assume I fell asleep on my good ear side, and he couldn’t wake me – I woke up to a warm feeling on my shins, where little man pissed the bed
THREE HOURS OF MANIC CLEANING AND EMERGENCY TARGET RUN FOLLOWED AND I MAY NOT HAVE A FULL NERVOUS BREAKDOWN QUITE YET BUT NO PROMISES
King Hippo
I’ve fallen down a rabbit hole of Pluto TV channels that shows nothing but Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and Star Trek: Voyager. Welp, I guess I’m not doing anything this weekend after all.
Narrator: No one believed Old Redshirt was actually going to do anything productive this weekend.
Redshirt
I hope Mark Sanchez is okay. It’s unfortunate how often players-turned-announcers get involved in altercations at bars. Why just last week I walked by Trent Green standing outside a velvet rope repeatedly shouting at a bouncer “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
With all the jokes about Joe Burrow winning MVP for getting hurt and the Bengals effectively regressing to Pee Wee Football Team, I think we need to reexamine all doubts about Tom Brady being the GOAT due to all the evidence of Bill Belichick without Brady.
Redshirt
/wifey is returning from a 10 day trip to Alberta tomorrow
Me: “Can’t wait for sexy time! Also, I washed the sheets on our bed so it’s going to be extra comfy for you.”
Wifey: “I’m so looking forward to it! The fresh sheets I mean.”
Narrator: “Scotchy never fully recovered from that near-mortal wound.”
scotchnaut
Brick Meathook
LFG!!
Mr. Ayo
Time to head out and re-stock the THC supplies. And possibly get something to eat, but it is not a priority.
ArmedandHammered
I need to get my morning walk in, but I’m trapped under the cat.
Gumbygirl
BeefReeferLives
I’m late! I could have sworn I set my alarm last night, whoopsie doodle
Gumbygirl
Hippo frowns from North Cakkalakky
litre_cola
When His Majesty stays up and watches the entire Sunday night or Monday night games, then he can judge me waspily. Until then, neener, I say. NEENER!
Gumbygirl
Reporter: “So, any comments on the Ravens performance today?”
JJFozz: “Shut the hell up-I’M RENDING GARMENTS OVER HERE!”
scotchnaut
United States might have to pay tariffs to the UK for sending the Jets their next week.
clint greasewood
UK: we are getting jets?
US: yes, we are sending jets to you
UK: are they F-35 jets? dunno if we want those. they have a bad rep
US: we are giving you ny jets
UK: we’ll take F-35s
fleshwound_NPG
October 5, 2025 6:29 pm
Got to see the chargering in person.
Jimbo
Two of the most insane, idiotic rules in the Catholic church:
If you go to mass before 2 pm on a Saturday, it doesn not count towards your Sunday obligation
If you get married outside – meaning out in nature – it is not recognized by the church.
Also:
If you’re wearing clothes, you are teasing the priest and inviting him to bone you.
jjfozz
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
October 5, 2025 4:35 pm
Trey Yesavage sounds like the name Kanye West uses at the John Birch Society
Crime is getting out of control!
Redshirt
Sharkbait
After years of wishing every Steeler fan in the world would die of toxoplasmosis, I’ve switched the force of my hatred onto Bills fans. Also fuck them for propogating the term “mafia.”
jjfozz
October 5, 2025 9:33 pm
Wow man… okay… sorry…
WCS
He’s just mad because the phrase ‘Bills Mafia’ reinforces that Italians are filthy criminals who can’t be trusted.
Fortunately I’m Irish and we have no such adverse stereotypes to deal with.
/goes back to drinking beer while writing a novel that could be described, at best, as ‘indecipherable’ while simultaneously topping off an empty soda bottle with gasoline.
Horatio Cornblower
THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO SMOKED MORE POLES THAN COLLINSWORTH WAS THE GERMAN ARMY IN SEPTEMBER 1939
jjfozz
If you have having trouble “loggin in”, once logged in it may say that you are not logged in, at that point, refresh the page. If that does not work, then clear your cache and “loggin in” again.
Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
NOTE banner image from here
One thing that’s dicey about this 120 Minutes Playlist Project is looking up torrents for bands and albums that are obviously going to cross over into pornography territory, like “The Buddy System”.
After learning more about the incident in question, I would like to revise my statement.
Yup. Me too. But don’t worry too much. There were takes that have aged much worse than yours:
Bengals make first small roster move at QB position
It begins. The first stone has been unturned. Russell Wilson will become a Bengal. Nothing can stop it now. We are all damned for eternity to burn in purgatory hoping…praying…begging for the warmth of Hell’s fire as we slowly dip into madness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or they felt having four QBs was a bit too much. Either or.
..
I vote for Gumbygirl as DFO’s new Big Walker!
walking is prob the easiest and bestest exercise one can do
I took yesterday off because my knee was killing me. The step counting app
( I almost said pedo app, lol) is VERY disappointed in me!
.
The dude Sanchez attacked filed a civil suit including Fox Sports for “negligent hiring, retention, and supervision” which is both hilarious and the sort of shit that makes cancel culture or whatever you want to call it necessary
These are the cases that should go before the Trump judges who have never sat for a trial.
Then CNN could spend all evening ripping on the judge for following every stupid/interesting rabbit hole Sanche presents. Finally this Entertainment Presidency will have something for ME*.
*Charlie Kirk getting shot doesn’t count because he didn’t hang on long. Like a cuck.