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"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio
It’s been a luverly day. Hope you enjoyed yourselves.
Tonight’s sports:
Keep in clean for the last work week before summer. BEACH SHORTS ARE FOR THE BEACH!
AD Season 4 has a shit ton of supporting actors, and not even with the clever puns the series used to give them.
Pratt & Whitney R-4360 Wasp Major 28 cylinder radial engine (cut-away)
“Hot” Eskimos
I managed not to do anything. Yay, me!
You managed to brag about it.
OUR FROGS ARE TURNING GAY!
ARRRRGGGH!
Happy Pride 2017 all!
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Lesson learned: Don’t FUCK with turtles, man!
Dayum. Not fucking around.
Christmas is only six months away.
Just saying.
Commies tryna steal our womens.
Unsurprised:
If all you saw yesterday was naked pasty white men, you were either too early or too late. I participated in the Naked Bike Ride, and I have never seen so many beautiful naked women in one place in my life. Hundreds of them! Granted, I couldn’t talk to any of them, due to my crippling social anxiety, but just being among them made me feel like I was in heaven.
You should definitely participate next year, or at least find a way to get involved.
/Gets on bike…. tires flat.
C’mon, if there’s one thing that naked bike ridin’ ladyfolk always go for, it’s Big Black…Richard. 😀
Whenever I hear about these naked events, I always wonder what the Boner Policy is. I mean, I get wood at church ffs. I’d be getting a stiffy for sure and get my ass arrested for indecent exposure or lewd conduct.
Seriously, how does that work so that participants don’t get arrested for indecent exposure?
hee hee, I had some thought. Was having anxiety just imagining it.
Didn’t have a boner, didn’t see anyone that had one, including the younger guys.
While I don’t think a written policy exists, I’m pretty sure that the unwritten policy is that if you think you won’t be able to keep it down, then kindly wear loose-fitting boxers.
Adding here that I used to be afraid to go to nude beaches because I was afraid that I would have constant wood, like I do at strip clubs. It doesn’t work that way for me, though. Apparently context matters.
I think I’d probably wear a jock strap and call it a day. At least my ass would be participating…
It is easy not to get a boner in public unless you are 18 or younger, in which case the self control is not there.
*Historically accurate.
Gifs have conditioned me to anticipate a wave knocking her over. I just can’t simply enjoy the pretty girl.
Finished the Lakers/Celtics 30-for-30 this weekend. Those were some really good playoff series in the 80s, when the NBA was still real basketball.
And fuck, did I ever despise the Celtics. I was Lakers all the way, baby.
Ditto me that.
Sure, Magic, Kareem, Worthy (gags a little, sorry)…..but Michael Cooper knocking down three’s was funner by far.
Bird? Meh. But fuck McHale and Parrish.
Coop was my favourite. That’s who I always (badly) pretended to be in childhood pickup games.
Don’t forget Jamaal Wilkes! Silk, baby!
I used to do that overhead around the neck shot. Badly.
Larry Bird gets dunked on.
I have to go write this thing before I get yelled at, and that’s not even accounting for the apps, and there’s an essay I want to write. Later taters.
BWAAAAAAH!
Fuck. I want to see Veep already.
Oooh. Thanks for the reminder.
Oh Jesse. Oh, honey…..
Buddy rn:
Shit, I’m drunk again.
You misspelled high
STFU…be cool man.
What I’m learning from the 30-for-30 “Catholics vs. Convicts” special is a kid can’t pay off a debt of a few thousand by making shirts a thousand times more creative than the schools can ever think of, but the schools profiting millions from the physical and mental wear and tear of their players is a-okay.
God Bless America
My sister called the “Calm Down, Get Ahold of Yourself” joke a Family Guy joke instead of an Airplane joke even though she’s seen Airplane. I have to kill her now, right?
Affirmative. Death to the infidel.
Every time she asks you for something tonight, tell her you “don’t speak jive”, and do something else. That’ll teach her.
Then kill the infidel.
In her defense; Family Guy has been on long enough to steal all the jokes.
But that’s all it’s done since the movies.
“to steal all the jokes.”
The Day The Internet Broke Buddy
I hit peak OCD today, for about 7 hours all I did was stay on the Internet and check my cell phone in vain for messages that never came.
I can’t keep doing this. It’s becoming torture and my life hasn’t been better for doing so. Obviously, I won’t be able to forego technology completely (my God if I could though…) but man, I have been a worse person since trying to outsource my life onto the Web. As mentioned before, there are few worse feelings than being so profoundly desperate for interaction, you run to the website du jour and make a comment, hoping enough thumbs up give you a hit of a dopamine.
The biggest takeaway from all of this is that it is okay to feel like shit for a little while without actively seeking something to distract you from pain. It’s okay to be alone and not feel a desire to want to share something with someone. It’s okay to just have moments to yourself.
Another problem I have with the Internet is that it has made me borderline neurotic with how I view myself. Reading articles like, “You’re a Shitty Person if you are X, Y, or are not speaking out about Z” actually sometimes convince me I am a shitty person. It’s taken some therapy to even break my thought process on that and that I am not a bad person for trying to get my own shit together. When I feel like I am a shitty person or did something wrong, it cripples me. Everything in my life suffers, and I fall into a tailspin of “you’re not redeemable” thinking.
So yeah, I don’t need to be up on the latest news and views. I don’t need to read the ABSOLUTELY necessary political think-piece. I don’t need to comment on every article and tailor it like I am writing a fucking thesis so it gets plaudits or up-votes. I don’t need anyone’s approval, really.
Time to tap out from being plugged in for 12 straight years and start being an actual human again. This isn’t the end of Buddy at all, but just the end of mindless interactions and hollow relationships at the expense of people in my life.
The absolute worst thing you can do, internet or not, is listen to anyone’s opinion about you who doesn’t know you. X, Y and Z can go suck it. Life doesn’t work that way.
Avoid that stuff, my friend.
I think maybe the OCD-ish/checking phone for msg that never came might not be rooted in internet itself. Which is a good thing, and also very normal.
Getting emotionally caught up, craving contact. It’s normal. Sadly, sometimes it doesn’t turn out as we’d like.
But trust me on these two things…..
You are NOT a shitty person.
…and…
Plenty of folks here love ya.
Seconded. You make people laugh, which is great, but if you’re tired of making people laugh or you’re not hitting the jokes 100%, you’re still great. Some days I just want to do nothing, and that doesn’t make me worthless, it’s often restorative. It’s harder sometimes to resist the siren’s call or trying to impress someone or something.
Any anonymous Internet person that says you’re shit because you do or don’t believe what they believe are shit themselves.
My advise, go to a park with nature trails and reset. If you aren’t healthy enough to hike or walk, get in your car and take a joyride. Ride with no purpose. Just ride to see the scenery.
I agree with Redshirt, just unplug. Fire on some music you listened to during happier times and know that there are corners of the internet that are not full of awful people (here).
Dial it back to just porn & dick jokes. Once you’ve cleansed the system, then you can branch out again. And for God’s sake, stay outta the comment sections!
And, as said below, we love you.
That’s fucking funny.
Yeah man, we love ya even if not in the mood to make with the funny. Just come in here and yell at clouds if’n you want.
/actually fuck that – no stealing mah bit ,, smgdh
Please don’t take this comment as racist, but why is the BET Awards on half my channels? Are the cable channels suffering from white guilt or something?
Synergy!
Could be it is the summer TV dry season and award shows are popular.
Is it February again already?
I have decided to take the summer off to help with Decilitre and not not murder anyone. I have 4 days of work left and I cannot even deal with that. I will be seeing parts of your wonderful land that I never thought I would such as Mt. Rushmore (is the cheeto on there yet), Yellowstone etc. I can’t fucking wait to not work for 2 months!! (except the bar, but that doesn’t feel like work)
Good on ya. I decided on the same thing, so no summer school for me. A hit to the wallet, but a benefit to the system.
Yep, due to decilitre I can take leave to care for the lil guy with no pay. I will bartend to keep food on the table but I need a break. As discussed on Slack postal jobs can drive you mad.
…..and not not murder anyone.
Double negative. Message received.
I’ll bring the travel documents and the supplies we talked about.
You dig the holes.
Holes leave evidence like disturbed dirt. A dip into International Waters leaves no evidence and some time left over for fishing.
Pssst, Litre….I’m bringing Redshirt.
Logistics n junk.
Noted. I will order more supplies…..
Meh on Rushmore, but do stop at nearby Crazy Horse. Take a pic with decilitre, then in 18 years see how they’ve both changed.
Do people seriously wear shorts to work? WTF?
WHY DOES SHE NOT WORK FOR ME AT CANADA POST???????
Something something on-time delivery and my package.
Oh, I have a lot of these fuckwits that work for me.
I’ve learned that in Boulder, the answer can be yes.
I can wear shorts at my work but I would have to shave my legs to do it. I’m not prepared to do that, and my father has a heart condition so…
I have coworkers that wear shorts to work in suburban Portland, yes. For an office job.
We wouldn’t have to keep buildings at fucking 68 in 100 weather if it was common practice.
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