DFO overlords are glad I didn’t say “fuck off, cunts” in the title.  But seriously…fuck off, cunts.  We need a full day of all varietals of footy!  Especially with this rather dire JV NFL slate.  But as usual, the world don’t care what we need, especially what Hippo need.

Northwestern at Minnesota (Noon, BTN)

Wow, they is some dogs in this window.  This’un is flagged because the Mildcats have clinched a berth in the B1G title match, with an 0-3 non-conference mark.  With a little bit of luck, they could be 6-6 and play for the championship, which would be the most B1G thing ever.

Michigan State at Nebraska (Noon, Fox)

Sparty is a mere 2-point favourite here.  As my preferred college indie band would say, Jump! On that elevator…

Yes, that’s what I’m gonna do… (and yes, this actually made MTV’s 120 Minutes, Hippo was so excite)

Utah at Colorado (1:30, PAC-12)

This should actually be a good game, though the offenses are nothing to write home about.  Team Secular Big Love probably has the best mathematical chance to represent the jumbled South v. the Apple Cup winner for the conference title.  As such…probably betting the JV Donks here.

Syracuse v. Notre Dame @ Babe Ruth’s Corpse Field (2:30, NBC)

L’Orange aren’t that bad offensively, but they have about as much chance to stop the Irish from scoring as a random assortment of Commentist Party members.  Don’t go getting your hopes up (unless you are Fronk).

West By God Virginia at Oklahoma State (3:30, ABC)

On one hand, this is a bear trap of a match for Fuckers du Cousins.  But on the other, BDSM State could be emotionally drained after their 1-point loss in Stillwater.  Could go either way.  And a blowout in either direction.

Boston College at Florida State (3:30, ESPN2)

Two notables.  First, BC is a road favourite in Tallahassee.  Second, an Iggles win means no bowl for the Semenholes, breaking like a bajillion year streak.  Purely a schadenfreude watch.

USC at UCLA (3:30, Fox)

Hey, it’s still a rivalry.  Now with race war overtones!!  Here’s some more hipster goodness, thematically correct:

Duke at Clemson (7:00, ESPN)

Don’t sleep on this matchup, the Devils TOTES can threaten the 28-point spread.

UAB at Texas A&M (7:00, ESPN2)

UAB is 9-1 against mostly nobody, but TAMU is kinda shitty so could be a fun upset (Blazers are +17 as of this writing).  This is that strange pre-Thanksgiving week where most of the SEC takes a virtual bye.  BLECH.

Stanford at Cal (7:30, PAC-12)

The Best of the West are all on the internal network this week, as these Golden Shower Bears have looked hungry of late (and the Trees…not so much).

Cincinnati at UCF (8:00, ABC)

Seriously, JV Cincy v. Hitler Mice is the national prime-time selection.  Jesus wept.

Iowa State at Texas (8:00, LHN/ESPN3)

Two top 20 sides, in this crap slate, and it will only be available streaming to most folk.

Arizona at Washington State (10:30, ESPN)

Oh, this is tricky as fuck for Mike Leach’s pirate crew.  Apple Cup is next, and will decide the PAC-12 North no matter what.  Can they stay focused and keep their long-shot playoff hopes alive?  Watch and be amazed, as Wazzu has really turned up the defensing in November.