Request Line: Eli’s Slumber Party Mixtape – Volume 3 (Getting Together)

EXT. NONDESCRIPT BROWNHOUSE, PARK SLOPE – DAY

A woman in a black leather jacket carefully climbs up the front steps, swaying slightly with each step.  In her left arm she carries a massive handbag.  She reaches out with her right arm and extends a finger to push the doorbell, and after several attempts manages to poke it successfully.  

— [door flies open] —

OLIVIA MANNING: Well hello, love.

AMY TRASK: [slurring slightly] Good night!  I mean, good evening!

OLIVIA: My darling Amy, what have you been up to?

AMY: Oh, you know, just getting a head start on things for tonight.

OLIVIA: [with some distaste] I meant in life, dear.  [looks her over] Though I suppose I can make an educated guess.

AMY: [pulls open her bag and withdraws a bottle] I brought wine.

OLIVIA: But of course you did.  Come in, come in.

As they move inwards, the doorbell rings again and OLIVIA steps back to answer it.

— [door flies open] —

ASHLEY: [blushes, as though she is somehow surprised that a door she knocked on has opened] Oh!  Good evening, Mrs. Manning.

OLIVIA: [smiles gently] How many times do I have to tell you, Ashley, I’m your mother-in-law, you can dispense with the formalities.  Just call me Olivia.

AMY: [snickers] Or how about “Mom”?

OLIVIA: [glares at her] Let’s get that wine of yours opened.  [reaches out and takes the bottle]  Oh, a nice…unchilled Chardonnay.  How delightful.

AMY: Actually, I’m ready to move on to something with a little more kick.

OLIVIA: Well, I certainly could use a martini myself at this point.  Ashley, do you know how to mix one?

ASHLEY: Is a cosmopolitan a martini?

OLIVIA: No dear, it is not.  A cosmopolitan is a cocktail.

ASHLEY: What about an appletini?

OLIVIA: [frowns] Didn’t you used to work in a restaurant? One of those “bar and grill” type establishments?

ASHLEY: Yes, but…oh my!  [clearly flustered] All of that was so long ago!  Oh, I’m so sorry!  These days all I know how to do is open bottles of Budweiser!  [breaks fourth wall and turns to face the camera, enunciating clearly]  Budweiser is Peyton’s favorite, and mine too!

Suddenly, the door handle rattles and all three women turn towards the entryway.

— [door flies open] —

VIRGINIA McCASKEY: [grinning happily, then her smile fades] Where…?

OLIVIA: Virginia!  So glad you could make it.  Let me take that…fur coat…of yours.

ASHLEY: Is that…is it…snowing?

OLIVIA: In May? Don’t be daft, dear.  Virginia, what’s this on your coat?

VIRGINIA: [looks at her blankly, then her eyes brighten with recognition] Oh, I’m so sorry, Marge. I must have brushed against your dogwood and got myself covered in blossoms.

ASHLEY: [aside, to AMY] Marge?

AMY: [whispers back] She thinks Olivia is Marge Schott.

VIRGINIA: Your boy really needs to do a better job of trimming them back.

ASHLEY: [quietly] “Your boy”? I hope she’s talking about Eli.

AMY: She isn’t. [steps forward and speaks up]  All right, looks like everyone’s here. Now, bitches…

OLIVIA: [icily] Amy.  Please watch your language, Eli is upstairs.

AMY: [sarcastically] Ooooh, sorry, forgot about those virgin ears of his.  But as I was saying…it’s time for Book Club, [with exaggerated softness] bitches.  Let’s get this party rolling.

—

Editor’s Note: “I thought the theme for this was going to be ‘literature’,” is what you’re probably saying.  “Seems like a slam dunk,” you continue, “wasn’t that the whole point of announcing that Olivia’s book club was scheduled for the same evening as Eli’s slumber party?” And you’d be right; that’s certainly what I had planned.  But as it turns out, we already did that topic.  So instead today’s topic is “getting together”.  Now you can be talking about “getting everyone together” or you can make it “getting yourself together”.  Anything (of those two options) goes!  No limit on picks for today, so go wild!  I’ll get us started with one from The Doors.