Here are your Super Bowl Quotables results. I’ll uh — well, assuming Britt Reid doesn’t inhale a bunch of pills and liquor before waddling behind the wheel of a motor vehicle and plowing down myself and two young children in a parked car, leaving us in a coma while the investigation is ongoing and Reid remains uncharged while waiting four to eight weeks for blood alcohol test results because Missouri is absolute shithole place populated with low quality people and headline news is objectively damaging to the social fabric — though not in the same way speeding a truck into a parked car with children may be damaging to said children who will nearly face death on account of Britt Reid’s Missourian behavior — so, assuming that, I’ll see you all next season.

Submission are available here.