While most of us hate him with a burning white passion, it’s hard to deny the magnitude of Tom “Marvolo” Brady’s impact on the National Football League. That’s why we’re going to scoop up some of the residual hate left over from 2020 and apply it to the construction of a mixtape commemorating Tom Brady’s life and career.
Below, I’ve compiled a list of some of the key moments and periods in Tom Brady’s history. Your job is to choose songs to represent these. It’s by no means an exhaustive list; if you have another incident you think belongs on this mixtape, please add it (along with your song suggestion, if you’ve got one). It’s probably best to think of this as an offseason version of Quotables, where quality matters much more than quantity and the liberal use of the +1 button is encouraged. Feel free to keep adding over the weekend and into early next week.
- Childhood in the Bay Area as a front-running fan of the Boston Celtics, the Los Angeles Lakers, and the San Francisco 49ers.
- Attends the University of Michigan, where he is buried in the depth chart behind Brian Griese for two years and then starts as a junior and senior.
- Drafted by the New England Patriots in the 6th round of the 2000 NFL Draft (199th pick)
- Drew Bledsoe is injured and Tom Brady takes over the starting job.
- Tuck Rule
- Leads game-winning drive to beat the Rams in Super Bowl XXXVI.
- Abandons a pregnant Bridget Moynahan to begin dating (and later marry) supermodel Gisele Bündchen.
- Becomes involved with alternative medical practicioner Alejandro “Alex” Guerrero.
- The Patriots’ bid for a perfect season in 2007 is disrupted by Eli Manning and the New York Giants
- Bernard Pollard destroys Brady’s ACL and MCL in a preseason game.
- Deflategate
- Displays a MAGA hat in his locker and implicitly endorses Trump for president.
- Brady drops a key pass and is strip-sacked for a game-deciding fumble by the Eagles in Super Bowl LII.
- Splits with Belichick and leaves the New England Patriots to sign with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.
- Leads the Buccaneers to become the first ever team to win the Super Bowl while playing in their home stadium.
Next Friday, I’ll compile the mixtape into a single track for us to enjoy, and I’ll announce the topic that we’ll be requesting songs for on the following Friday (with the expectation that things will quickly devolve into something like the Pre-Taped Call-In Show). Have fun!
NOTE: Banner image via: https://fineartamerica.com/featured/tom-brady-art-painting-joann-vitali.html
For Giselle.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBmXLABEo_k
As he does not eat nightshades:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkPDlATxMBo
Split with Belichick:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LOtwhkHmR8w
This works for Guerrero or the time he posed for a photo shoot with goats
https://youtu.be/fDeBfkzsJ3o
I don’t think there are enough options for Deflategate so:
https://youtu.be/a01QQZyl-_I
Tuck Rule
https://youtu.be/X_DVS_303kQ
(in case that was too subtle)
https://youtu.be/jL5ZeZPjhuk
Got it.
“As I leave the Patriots, I’d like to thank Bob Kraft.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXI43zGeyu4
Bob Kraft or maybe just the Patriots in general will be getting their own mixtape.
Stay with me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dgi2lY62Hto&ab_channel=StephenGebhardt
Part Deux
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQu_NLRvULM&ab_channel=endawright
The Payoff
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG1NrQYXjLU&ab_channel=BillyIdolVEVO
Slow played nicely.
Red Hat stupidity
https://youtu.be/QPU_7DEwPuM
The MAGA endorsement:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Bl4dEAtxo0M
Along those lines…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tXgReZFB1SY
Or this one
https://youtu.be/x5SYjoZsLQE
Boy did that song ever get relevant again.
Tom Brady signs to play for Tampa Bay:
(also video has Elisha Cuthbert)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwv-iRvyDZg
Aw, “weezer” makes me think fondly of Rush Limbaugh’s dying moments.
Just checked. He’s still dead.
“I’m a huge fan of the tune ‘Unsung’ by Helmet.”
-David Tyree
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jBfygUiS50g&ab_channel=HelmetVEVO
Nice.
Tawmmy and other Patriots fans:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JnQfKIFERU
Who was that one QB who beat him in the 2013 postseason?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vbu_K41efvY
The Alex Guerrero years.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYyRLTveFJQ
Snoop knows
https://youtu.be/fWCa3GvbNUE
Celebrating the 2021 Super Bowl with Gronk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LL9O0B0gzZE
SEVERAL HOURS LATER
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QHhNt6q06_k
Would also have accepted Boat Drinks
Brady takes over for Bledsoe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTzcaEpvQec
“Finally! Took long enough. Ok, so who drafted me?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-64CaD8GXw
Leaving Moynahan for Giselle
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkcbxjWG9Mc
When he discovers the Giants won the NFC Championship game
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1A2eet1bttY
The almost perfect season:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZ1MdRgU7Hw
Eagles Super Bowl:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8wXcQ8v-nOA
DOUBLE FUMBLE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qU8UfYdKHvs
I thought it was Drew Bledsoe that got injured and started Tommy’s career, not Drew Brees.
Note that my memory ain’t what she used to be, so may be wrong
Yes, of course. My brain was apparently elsewhere; I’ll edit.
found a funny:
When I check the expiration dates of items at the grocery store that’s purely performative, I have no idea what today’s date is and this information means nothing to me
Can this work?
Dude was like a hero for pats fans with all them game-winning drives…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TFVrOC8gOhU
Oh, that would be great for when he took over for Bledsoe.
Also works for the Rams SB win.
Originally I had this slotted for Deflategate from one of the Pats employees’ perspective, but it works for Tom’s MAGA endorsement too.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VH5BSkVQLsw
Bernard Pollard destroys Brady’s ACL and MCL in a preseason game.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2-V8kYT1pvE
How about this for Pollard?
https://youtu.be/o9mJ82x_l-E
Oh, that’s a strong contender.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5mtclwloEQ
Along those lines:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=eIp8G8BZF3Y
Or from Bridget’s perspective:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=NPcyTyilmYY
I was thinking this for that moment
https://youtube.com/watch?v=zIAku-Qwfl0&feature=youtu.be
Or fuck it, this one
https://youtu.be/XRv_svCDYZY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WpkATS6mjbc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cleCtBP0o5Y
On his relationship with his son:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JT3YNiwK4bg
I mean…did he have to? Did he have to?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Kspj3OO0s
Tampa Bay Super Bowl victory:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=qEYwz3zxGNc
Childhood as a frontrunner:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WX6UbPN1hTg
Relationship with Guerrero:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rhT3MhzTsWQ
Alternate:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Tb9L3iAUhc0