These games would ordinarily be Thursday-Friday, but they apparently needed an extra day to Lysol down Greater Indianapolis.  I get it.  Plus, I had too much work bullshit yesterday, so it all worked out fine.  THANKS, Diamond Joe!

10S Virginia Tech (pick ’em) v. 7S Florida (12:15, CBS)

I want to say that maybe Butler upset the Gators in a distant-memory NCAAT, so maybe Hinkle Fieldhouse will be a jinx?  The Forcibly Non-Gendered Turkex need all the help they can get.  For the ACC was liquid ass, you see.

14S Colgate (+8.5) v. 3S Arkansas (12:45, truTV)

Near-Ivy League against the school that gave us a President called “Bubba.”  Cultures, they can clash.

16MW Drexel (+22.5) v. 1MW Illinois (1:15, TBS)

You remember that really awful kids’ show Dragon Tales?  I always pretended those kids were Satan worshippers, summoning daemons.  Not enough daemons in any realm to help Drexel past the Illini, though.

11S Team Secular Big Love State (+4) v. 6S Guns Up!! (1:45, TNT)

America’s favoUrite “bunny boiling crazy” banner pic is back, baby!  This should be a pretty good game, too.

15S Oral Doesn’t Count (+16) v. 2S tOSU (3:00, CBS)

That’s right, harlots.  Suck your man dry and take no action in pursuit of your own pleasure.  Or it’s down to hayellll yew goes.

16S Hartford (+25.5) v. 1S Bay-Bay (3:30, truTV)

Wait, the Whalers changed sports?  And became a university??  Fuck, this is a weird ass timeline.

9MW Georgia Tech (+5.5) v. 8MW Loyola-Chi**** (4:00, TBS)

America’s FavoUrite Nun is still kicking it at 101.  Will the Bees kill her ded?  Do they REALLY want that on their conscience??

12MW Oregon State (+8.5) v. 5MW Tennessee (4:30, TNT)

Niiiiiiiccccccce Beaver!! won the Pac-12 torneo, and have that “we’re just happy to be here” vibe.  But you know better than to bet on Rick Barnes in March…dontcha??  Too late to change your bracket now, fuckadoos.