Instant Hippo (Hazy) Thoughts – Week 11, 2021 Season

Yesterday was Hippo Family Thanksgiving, so my attention was divided.  Plus, the games were kinda butt (third week running, DUE BETTER NFL).  Still, FITBAW things happened, and here are a few of those things.

Speaking of doing better…Grumblelord finds hisself back atop the AFC East, thanks to the reeling Bills.  If you started the BUF D/ST (/raises hand sheepishly), you fucking lost.  The Fat Humps (ok, just Jonathan Taylor) went into WNY and absolutely pushed their shit in.  41-15, and it certainly could have been worse, had Indy needed, lik, point differential bonus.

Macro level – we’ve all learned not to over-extrapolate from one really BAD quartered backing year.  Perhaps its time to be similarly wary about one GOOD such year.  Brokeback’s 2020 mirage seems a lot like Baby Buster’s 2018, yeah?  Perhaps the brain-dead dolt who threw to whoever he felt like (regardless of uniform coloUr) is the real Josh Allen.  But the recent QB play (and play calling) are a significant concern.

There was one legitimately decent game early, and perhaps the Vikings have finally gotten over their late game hoodoo?  Or not – they certainly let Q-aaron and pals back in the game, time and time again.  It even looked like Dingleberry gifted GB a chance to win the game, but VAR overturned the pick, and Minny took advantage of that new life, running the clock out (wisely) and kicking the winning chip shot.  34-31, Minny improves to 5-5 with a pulse.  It’s a 5-5 that has some promise attached.

Maybe there just aren’t any complete teams this season?  Or even very good ones.  It sure seems like when we have a bead on someone pulling away, they get yanked right back to cold, hard reality.

Speaking of cold, hard reality?  Tanny Fanny’s 4 pickerceptions, in a shittastically bad 22-13 home loss to the 500s.  Perhaps Tennessee can survive this mulligan, but when they are bad – they are really, REALLY bad.  Most impressively?  DonT saw this one coming – really don’t think anyone else in the clubhouse has a better read on their favoUrite squadron.

#ThePauls are back over .500, even if it doesn’t much feel like it.  They limped home against the sad sack, Tim Boyle-led Lions – squandring most of a 13-nil nead.  Perplexingly, DET kicked a FG on 4th and 1 with like 9 minutes to play, to make it 13-10.  That ain’t the proper odds play, when it’s 4th and 1 – not 4th and 11.  I mean, I commend the dedication to a 2-game Draw streak, but Jesus.  0-9-1, headed into their one and only annual showcase game.

Which they will no doubt win, because Bearistocrats!  Strawberry Fields got hurt, so Daywalker Dalton returned, and looked like he was going to lead CHI to a 13-9 victory over fellow backup Tyler Huntley.  After all, Huntley was hardly someone you’d expect to be able to answer with a 2-minute drill, after not sniffing the end zone for the first 58+ minutes?  But again…Bearistocrats.  BLEERGH certainly had a hand in it, but Matt Nagy is just begging to get fired at this point.  Thursday’s matinee loss should certainly do the trick.  Balmer survives, 16-13.  Probably not the worst thing in the world for Lamar! to have a week off, anyway.  He takes a beating.

Miami has a 3-game winning streak, courtesy of an ELITE 24-17 win in Joisey.  I have nothing else to say about that puppy abortion.

Riverboat Ron got a win for his Charlotte homecoming, 27-21 over Cam’s Panthers.  Newton played reasonably well, but McCaffrey is lacking a bit of his peak burst, and the defense just couldn’t contain Heinecke on 3rd down.  That should be the end of that mini-resurgence, and I guess WTF isn’t completely ded at 4-6, playing in the NFC Special Needs Division and all.

Same applies to the Iggles, a half-game better at 5-6 after blasting the Saints, 40-29.  Anyone who says they understand either of these two squadrons is a fucking liar.  Complete schizos.

But WAIT! you say.  Ain’t Dallas good?  No.  No, sirree Bob.  The version that got ass-blasted at home by the Donks came back, this time against the…DEFENSE-first Chefs?  What a turn around, indeed.  Dak! was flustered from start to finish, and they didn’t ask Mahomes to do very much (which is good, because he sucked again).  Kelce ran one in early, and CEH got the only other TD (on your bench), in a dreary 19-9 win.  Good clock/game management at the end by Fat Andy, punting from the Non-Gendered 35 with 2:30 to play (with a 10-point lead, the short field was way more dangerous than a long FG would plausibly help).

I left out Tomsulas/Jaguras, because it was a sad, sad thing.  Janeane led her charges on a 20-play, 13+ minute FIELD GOAL drive to start the game, and it never got any better for Prison Girlfriend and crew.  30-10, and I swear this one ended before 3p EST.

Colt McCoy had to start again, but the roller coaster went back up.  Qards go to SEA and end the ‘Truthers season, with a comprehensive 23-13 stomping.  Time to burn it down and start over, there.  It just ain’t happening.

That’s Rikki’s Raiders! may need another motivational episode.  At home, they managed to get Team WKRP back on track, 32-13.  Vegas was just horrible, in all phases of the game (what little of it I saw, or at least noticed).

Thank fuck The Ben shook off his #NuAIDS for SNF, as even Yinzers don’t deserve another week of MAGAt Mason Rudolph.  Clippers du Merde really needed to get back on track, too.  Could we maybe get a good game?   Aaaaannnndddd, Hippo entered turkey coma and slept through whole damn thing.  Clips holds off Yinzers, 41-37?  Wow, must have been bonkers.

Despite the mid-season quality lull – all the elements are there for a great Thanksgiving week + December.  Division and wild-card races all over the place, and absolutely NO dominant teams, in either conference.  Anything could happen, and that’s mostly why we watch.  Keep on watching, and the rewards will eventually come.