Request Line: Superlatives

The recording studio at KDFO looks much as we’d remember it from the before-time.  There is no evidence of the PRODUCER’s long descent into quarantine madness, or of DJ 3000’s work arranging logistics for pregnant women who will now be forced to travel to sanctuary states in order to exercise their right to an abortion.  The PRODUCER is seated in front of the sound console, attempting to suppress a quizzical expression as he interacts with the week’s guest inside the sound booth. 

PRODUCER: …and you say this is your fifth year in the NFL?

JEROME BAKER: That’s right!  Just signed a new contract and I’m really looking forward to the new season.

PRODUCER: And you’ve been with the Dolphins this whole time? [released talkback button, talks out the side of his mouth towards DJ 3000]  Who did you say this guy was again?

DJ 3000: JEROME BAKER.  HE’S A LINEBACKER OUT OF OHIO STATE.

PRODUCER: [pretending to pay attention as JEROME BAKER responds to his question] We couldn’t get anybody better?

DJ 3000: WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BETTER? HE PLAYS IN THE NFL, HE’S ONE OF THE BEST ATHLETES ON THE PLANET.

PRODUCER: I mean, more familiar.

DJ 3000: IT’S HARD TO BOOK ANYONE RIGHT NOW, JUST ABOUT EVERY SINGLE PLAYER WITH A FAMILY IS ON VACATION.

PRODUCER: Oh, cause school just got out?

DJ 3000: YEAH AND TRAINING CAMP ISN’T THAT FAR AWAY.

THE PRODUCER realizes that JEROME BAKER finished responding a while ago and has been sitting quietly and patiently since then.

PRODUCER: [punches talkback button] Sorry, Jerome, just a little audio issue out here.  You were saying?

JEROME BAKER: Oh, no problem.  I was saying that…

DJ 3000: HA HA HA BAKER, I HARDLY KNOW HER.

JEROME BAKER: Um.

DJ 3000: HEY HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED THAT VERY FEW ADJECTIVES WORK WELL IN THAT JOKE FORM?

PRODUCER: [annoyed at the interruption] What the hell? What is going on with you?

DJ 3000: LIKE, YOU’VE GOT YOUR CLASSICS LIKE “GLADIATOR” AND “LIQUOR” BUT THINGS LIKE “FASTER” AND “ANGRIER” DON’T MAKE ANY SENSE.

PRODUCER: Sorry, Jerome, we’re having some issues with our I.T. system.  That audio kink seems to have been worked out though, so let’s go ahead and start the show.

JEROME BAKER: Okay, sure.

PRODUCER: [counts it down]

JEROME BAKER: Hey folks!  I’m Jerome Baker of the Miami Dolphins, and I’ll be your host for Request Line today.  Today’s theme is “Superlatives” and we’re looking for songs about things that are better or worse than other things.  Things that are, say, faster, stronger, harder, et cetera.  You get the idea.  I’ll get us started with an unfamiliar tune that gets me more pumped up than anything else I’ve heard lately.  I hope you like it, and be sure to give me a call and get your requests in; see if you can come up with something even better!

Today’s theme is: Superlatives.  We’re looking for songs about things that are better or worse.  Or the best, or the worst.  Post links as “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5t0pM4k!n6$/100” and they should embed in the comments after you refresh. The clue for last week’s puzzle song was “Thermalot” which referred to the puzzle song of “Pillar of Salt” by The Thermals”.  Have at it!