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Sexy Friday – A World Cup Preview!

ballsofsteelandfury

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I was going to do this last week, but I ran out of time. Luckily, I had plenty of time last weekend to work on this. This will be the first of many World Cup 2022 posts.

Yes, they’re being held in a country with a very questionable (to put it in the kindest terms) human rights record and yes the Canadian National Team is currently in a dispute with the Canadian Soccer organization over equal pay for men and women and appropriate shares of World Cup revenues and yes the Mexican National Team looks like a warmed-over refried bean burrito that exploded in the microwave, but I choose to be an optimist and I choose to look at the bright side of life.

We are going to have a LOT of games coming up this autumn that will fall right around US Thanksgiving, which means we can take extra days off work and watch them all until we can’t watch no more and then it’s Christmas and we’ve survived the cold winter thanks to football/soccer!

To start to get you ready, I’ve prepared a handy dandy sheet with all the times/dates/games/TV channels so you can prepare appropriately.

In addition, we have lovely ladies from each 2022 World Cup country! Enjoy!

I do suggest you follow the links in the captions to go down some fun rabbit holes.

***

For those of you prudes that don’t like cheesecake or beefcake, click HERE to skip to the music videos.

Here are your pictures of the week!

Senegal – The Senegalese Twist is a very popular hairstyle
Netherlands – Dutch Baby > Dutch Oven
Ecuador – It’s too hot here not to shave!
Qatar – No, this was not easy to find
England – Gotta love their muffins!
Iran – Actually, not very hard to find at all
USA – I’m saluting.
Wales – I’d like to buy a vowel.
Argentina – Still pissed about islands.
Saudi Arabia – She moved to LA to fulfill her dream but still!
Poland – Ukraine’s best friend since 2022!
Mexico – “Ah, the Mexican Blonde. One of life’s truly misunderstood creatures. To whom no man is truly worthy.” Bonus points if you get the reference.
Denmark – Just don’t call them heartbreakers.
Tunisia – Tunisian food is delicious!
France – A ménagé a trois is not what you think it is.
Australia – Yeah Right suggestion: Aussie Meat Pie.
Germany – Pretzels for breakfast, fuck yeah!
Spain – Or churros instead!
Japan – Everyone needs to visit Japan at last once in their life.
Costa Rica – Good surfing there.
Morocco – A land of contrasts
Croatia – They have colosseums too!
Belgium – You know they were invented here, right?
Canada – Bonnie McMurray can sing the anthem in two languages
Switzerland – Holes in cheese and in mountains!
Serbia – Sooooo complicated in so many ways
Cameroon – For fuck’s sake, don’t iron titties!
Brasil – The land of the ass!
South Korea – Taking over the entertainment industry one soap opera at a time.
Ghana – Eazzy does it!
Portugal – Don’t retire there before Yeah Right!
Uruguay – Can we stop with the biting jokes?

***

YOU’RE-A-PRUDE

***

And now, for the music!

As I mentioned before, I’ve decided that I must take up the mantle that tWBS ran with and help to make this world a better place. I will do this in the one way he couldn’t: By introducing you to good music!

Song Number One:

https://youtu.be/nMplIrSlg8E

Canción Número Dos:

Chanson Numéro Trois:

Canzone numero quattro:

Canção número cinco

Seigarren zenbakia:

***

That’s all for this week, folks! Be good to each other and fly low and avoid the radar.

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TheRevanchist

If you don’t know the Wales lady, she is also a Wrexham supporter. She’s on twitter. Name is Alaw Haf. And like all Wrexham supporters she is a badass mofo.

1
Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

I never have time to stream shows but I somehow find time to stream Lost City on Paramount+.

Totally about Sandra of course.

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Mr. Ayo

And yes, it’s not great.

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TheRevanchist

It’s not great, but it’s mindless fun. And I enjoy that level of entertainment sometimes. So, enjoyable, but not a good film.

0
yeah right

Wasn’t planning on having a memorial for human rights the day before I’m having a memorial for my ex wife but I’m here in San Diego and we’re going to do something tomorrow.

One thing I can say for sure is my former wife would have hated this country for today. And that’s why I’ve always loved her.

I just couldn’t stand being married to her no more.

3
2Pack

Nice roll up Balls. We get overload sports this fall.

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ballsofsteelandfury

It’s going to be great!

1
Senor Weaselo

On one hand, fuck him and his coup-catalyst wife. On the other, they’d just say the nothing is annulled, just new marriages. And that would be bad then specifically for future me!

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Redshirt

I was going to make a “since we’re back in the 1950s, someone tell Jack Kennedy to skip the afternoon drive in Dallas in 1963” joke, but I see the banner has already been updated with a much better joke.

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litre_cola

I don’t like the seasons of space Archers.

1
SonOfSpam

I liked some of it, and I appreciate that they keep trying different stuff.

Pam as Rock Monster is good.

1
litre_cola

I am on season 11. Remember very little as always high when watching but the space ones no good. Pam as a slut is best.

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SonOfSpam

Do NOT slut-shame Pam. Or anyone on Archer. Especially Archer.

3
WCS

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Brick Meathook

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

About 6 months ago I went to an Islanders game, curious to see the new arena. I forgot they built a new train hall for Amtrak/LIRR in Penn Station.

Long story short I really had to take a crap on the way home, and ended up evacuating myself in New York Penn Station. To Buddy’s chagrin, there was no toilet paper in this particular stall, a fact he came upon after ruining the bowl. Panic set in, what the hell do I use? Sticking a pen up my ass while possibly exciting to my prostate, was simply not an option. Aha, but one saving grace remained: the disposable face mask in my backpack.

Let me tell you something, I don’t know what ply it qualified as, but it was the most heavenly wipe I’ve ever done in my life. Out of desperation and anxiety came pure bliss, and I was overjoyed what it was in fact flushable.

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litre_cola

FREEDOOMMM!!!

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Senor Weaselo

First off, thoughts on the Isles arena. Second, even as a Rangers fan, I live in Queens and you didn’t hit me up? We could have gone to… well actually we can’t go to the Triple Crown diner, it’s closed.

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It’s nice, pretty good sight lines. The bathrooms have no business being as nice as they are.

They don’t let you bring in a backpack though, which pissed me off because I read on the train. They make you buy this Binbox thing (sadly, it’s not a mailbox sized Fleshlight) for bags and whatnot. Chicken tenders and fries also ran me $16, and that was on the low end of food options.

Maybe being a product of frugal parents molded me in such a way, but going to sports games infuriates me. Can’t bring in water, and they bust your balls over bringing in anything really.

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SonOfSpam

Jail or the Emmett Till thing, whatevs.

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scotchnaut

Tampa has no gas left in the tank. Trying to hang on like that closet rod while Mikey Hutchence was going about his business.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

And much like the closet rod, they held up long enough to get the job done.

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

“Wales – I’d like to buy a vowel”

Is it an O?

2
scotchnaut

Hockey Finals Update

Tampon has stopped the bleeding pulled ahead 3-2.

2
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Think they’ll pull it out?

3
BrettFavresColonoscopy

At least we have to assume they won’t pad the score

2
scotchnaut

This hockey tilt is amazing but I had to build a million billion* skids of product last night because we were so badly under-staffed and the eyes want so badly to close.

*ok, it was slightly less than a billion

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SonOfSpam

THIS SCOTCHNAUT I CALL HIM NAJEH DAVENPORT’S HAMPER BECAUSE IT’S ALL SKIDS EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS SCOTCHNAUT I CALL HIM A STREET THAT HENRY RUGGS DROVE DOWN BECAUSE…oh wait I see it’s already been covered.

2
Senor Weaselo

“Skids of product” is code for “products of Skid Row,” right?

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Don T

This was fantastic. Came for good guys vs presumidos, stayed for the nipple stimulation.

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Brick Meathook

These darn Republicans are shipping all our good American abortion jobs to Mexico.

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ballsofsteelandfury

EXACTLY!

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WCS

Will Mexico pay for them, too?

1
ballsofsteelandfury

You’ll get a punch card. Tenth one’s free!

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SonOfSpam

Punch Card…Tenth one’s free, but it’s just a guy punching you in the stomach.

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Mr. Ayo

They might if you can seduce one of their muy bonita chicas and they correctly determine they don’t want your filthy bloodline in their country.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Just wait until they start opening up abortion clinics on Native American reservations.

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SonOfSpam

“That’s our medicine man. His name is Scrapes The Lambs.”

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SonOfSpam

Shit, Hoover’s moving operations to Guadalajara.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Own goal!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

The musical theme is rabbits

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scotchnaut

My first guess was tinnitus.

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WCS

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scotchnaut

As long as we’re dreaming of impossibilities-maybe Trump could go to jail for everything that he’s done.

3
yeah right

Goddamn do I love Echo and the Bunnymen. Well done Senor Balls. Well done.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Saw them at the Roxy on the Sunset Strip. Loudest concert I’ve ever been to. And I’ve seen Ministry, Pantera, and Sepultura.

Last edited 3 years ago by ballsofsteelandfury
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SonOfSpam

“This keyboard goes to eleven.”

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yeah right

I’ve seen them at San Diego open air and in Costa Mesa. Incredible live. Fucking incredible.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’d rather he just die, honestly.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Her too, but after having been in jail for seven or eight years first.

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Brick Meathook

Here’s why you should always do proper maintenance on your aluminum extruder’s hydraulic system. It’s just common sense, folks:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4qSTqCmA9Q

2
scotchnaut

“Extruding is so hot! But truth be told, I’m more of an ‘intruder’.”

-D. Watson, Cleveland, Ohio

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Mr. Ayo

That’s a nightmare fuel fire. It’s burning down the metal roof!

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Brick Meathook

Jet fuel can’t melt steel beams. But hydraulic fluid? Totally different ballgame.

1
WCS

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Brick Meathook

If you like Echo & The Bunnymen then you’re going to love Hoover Dam under construction in 1934:

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WCS

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Mr. Ayo

Such a cool project. Too bad it won’t be needed soon.

2
Horatio Cornblower

My daughter just referred to Amy Coney Barrett as “Amy Cumbucket” and I’ve never been more proud.

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litre_cola

Cumbucket also acceptable for Marj Greene me thinks or was it Boebert the escoUrt?

Last edited 3 years ago by litre_cola
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Redshirt

I don’t know. Thinking of that c— in a sexual manner for any reason is a Critical Hit to my heterosexuality.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I call her Amy Coney Island Forced Babymaker.

2
SonOfSpam

That’s a “wipe a tear proudly” moment

2
Redshirt

As a Cincinnatian, this is an extra level of hurt. The word “Coney” is supposed to provide comfort, not harm. Force things to leave your body, not keep it in there unwantedly.

Last edited 3 years ago by Redshirt
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WCS

Sorry, Gumbygirl:

https://theathletic.com/news/uab-coach-bill-clark-retires/DUx94xqkfc7y/

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SonOfSpam

Don’t tell the other assistant coaches.

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scotchnaut

Tampon just won’t go away. Up 2-1.

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herodotus450

Though, Cory Perry losing again would be quite amusing.

0
scotchnaut

Preach! His work on Beverly Hills 90120 back in the 90’s? So bad. His WAR (Wins After Radish) is so disappointing. I just can’t take that guy seriously.

0
scotchnaut

I’m currently reading a bio of Marcel Duchamp-so, yeah… That explains everything.

0
herodotus450

I will once again remind everyone, perhaps for the last time of the year, that the Colorado Avalanche are owned by both a Kroenke AND a Walton. Adjust your novelty pennants accordingly.

2
WCS

Tampa doesn’t need another victory, and Bettman sure as hell doesn’t deserve more “vindication” for his Southern Strategy.

#GaryBettmanIsAnIntergalaticDisgrace

1
ArmedandHammered

Is Bettman a reincarnation of Sherman? The Southern Strategy of both being highly destructive.

1
Mr. Ayo

Timely!

0
Cecil Rhodes

Greetings from the safety of the gated compound, dear fellows! This post really raised my spirits — if you think inflation is bad in the New World, just look at the cost of a loaf of bread in Rhodesia! I shall have to curtail my weekly gambling investment to save up enough shillings to enjoy a springbok sandwich at the end of a hard day’s work!

On a slightly more serious note, I am interested in offering my penmanship to the real World Cup preview posts when the time is upon us. What does an empire builder have to do to get involved? Would anyone like to rent out my beautiful estate on Lake Tanganyika for a week?

Last edited 3 years ago by Cecil Rhodes
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Mr. Ayo

Make this happen!

2
yeah right

We can make that happen. We’ll have signups at some point after our high level executive meetings in the DFO clubhouse. You will definitely be invited my good sir. Keep the chin up and God speed!

1
blaxabbath

Goodness folks, how we gonna get #upforwhateverLIME ad bux if you run all the traffic off the site?

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King Hippo

I say, dear chap, someone with greater technical acumen than I must invite you to the Slack channel, and post haste!

1
scotchnaut

You will be invited to a certain Slack channel-you’ll be asked to strangle to death less than three servants per month. This is the sort of sacrifice-on your part-that we demand.

4
blaxabbath

Sounds like someone needs to work harder then

1
yeah right

Always loved your screeds.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I am counting on you, good sir!

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blaxabbath

Wish I could claim credit for this.

Screenshot_20220624-175025_Instagram.jpg
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herodotus450

Won’t someone please think of the (miniature American flag industry)!?!

6
WCS

And there’s nothing that can be done about THAT.

END. OF. STORY.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

STATE GOVERNMENT: Well, maybe we can make it illegal for them to conceal it so the kids will at least have enough time to see them coming and duck under their…

SUPREME COURT: Not so fast…

1
herodotus450

Uh yes, hellow everyone, you may have noticed the domain snafu from a few days ago. Well, I swooped in and bought it so now I technically own everything, and everyone, here. I am especially interested in those of you with B- blood types and healthy knee ligaments…

6
yeah right

Well that lets me out on both accounts.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“B-? Wasn’t that what you got in Geography last semester, Eli? Oh, right, my mistake, it was a C. I was thinking of your brother Peyton, he always got so much better grades than you.” – Olivia Manning, once again deep into her Friday night Chardonnay

Last edited 3 years ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
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Dunstan

I thought about doing that, but figured the braintrust had it covered. Once again, laziness pays off as the right choice!

1
WCS

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ArmedandHammered

So you are The Master of your domain?

0
scotchnaut

Tampon!

0
BC Dick

Very nice fans. Would make an ideal harem.
Seems like some weird times in the USA right now. In Canada, the gov is going to give the CRTC, our tireless media censor, the ability to regulate internet porn to ensure Canadians get their required 35% Canadian content.
They already have this power over TV porn channels. In 2014 a company was threatened with licence revocation over not meeting that threshold and was also reprimanded for insufficient closed captioning. Not a joke. The big issues up here.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Well, if that means every website has to have at least 35% Peter North videos, I suppose that’s a fair trade.

1
BC Dick

Probably wouldn’t qualify. Bryan Adams doesn’t. It’s going to be a whole lot of low-fi hoser porn. Toques and parkas and polite gangbangs where everyone insists the other guy goes first.

2
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Honey, why is ‘Canadian porn stars’ showing up as an autocomplete suggestion?” – the Dr. Mrs. Deadly, tomorrow morning

4
King Hippo

Persians (women and men, if into the latter) are a really attractive people, generally. Too bad about the whole…everything else.

1
Cecil Rhodes

I had the opportunity to engage in courtship with a Persian woman earlier in life. She had hair in places that you people wouldn’t believe.

AD8C3A10-24CD-44B4-90AF-75C1C599F8AE.jpeg
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scotchnaut

So glad that you crawled out of The Hair Pits Of Arm and lived to tell about it.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I probably could have hooked up with an Iranian lass, if I’d played my cards right. Sadly, I played that hand about as badly as any hand I’ve ever played in my whole life.

1
scotchnaut

Gonna do a “Dry July” because it rhymes. No other reason whatsoever. Please subscribe to my non-existent social media accounts.

1
Dunstan

Ugh, if you’re going to do a dry month, pick February, not one of these 31-day mofos.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m 12 days into my own dry month.

1
Mr. Ayo

I’m importing that schedule straight into my work calendar.

1
Dunstan

Savvy Pundit Douchebro: “Calm down, liberals, they’re never going to overturn Roe.”
Alito: “We’re overturning Roe.”
SPD: “Ok, fine, they’re overturning Roe, but calm down liberals, they’re not coming after Griswold, Lawrence, and Obergefell.”
Thomas: “I’m totally coming after those.”
SPD: “Well, all this does is return abortion to the states.”
McCarthy: “We’re totally passing a national ban on abortion when we get the chance.”

6
scotchnaut

Bellgum vs Canadia right off the hop. FIFA is a son of a bitch. There, I said it.

1
WCS

Hellloooooo, Tunisia!

Gotta love women with tiaras. Why yes, I have a type, why do you ask?

5
ballsofsteelandfury

Balls’ Pic O’ Da Week!

1
WCS

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