And then there were three. I am plumb out of money due to going on tilt and making some bad decisions. Well, at least I didn’t end up naked in someone’s closet like last time…
And guess who has taken the lead? King Hippo! The King had a tremendous week while WhyEaglesWhy had about as good a week as Chip Kelly and drops to second. DTZM maintains his smart strategy of not betting and remains in the game in third. Good luck, boys!
WhyEaglesWhy
Balls was right; I had about as good a week as Chip Kelly. So I’m gonna do what Chip would do – double down on my insanity. If I’m gonna beat King Hippo I need to get a little crazy.
Jets -3 over BILLS – I do not believe there will be Jetsing. They’re too good, they need the game, and Buffalo doesn’t give a shit. Stakes: $33 to win $30.
Steelers -10.5 over BROWNS – I do, however, believe there will be Brownsing, especially with JFF nursing a bass drop-induced concussion. Plus, the Stillers REALLY need the game. Stakes: $22 to win $20.
CHIEFS -6.5 over Raiders – This is a LOT of points. But again, the Chefs need the game and they’re at home. Stakes: $11 to win $10.
Vikings +3 over PACKERS – The Packers can’t catch or protect Aaron Rodgers. I see the Vikings winning an ugly game. Stakes: $11 to win $10
DTZM
Since Balls does such a nice job with these posts, I didn’t think it was fair at all that he had to bow out before the playoffs. So, in the spirit of the pagan druid holiday season and that other guy with the beard’s birthday, I thought I’d give him a shot to buy back in. I’m offering Balls a one-time only wager. All 129 of my fake dollars on Houston -6 against Jacksonville, with you having to write a blog post next week declaring me the smartest, bestest gambler of all time if I win. FM Warner suggested we bet pinks, but nobody wants my Toyota Tercel, so here we are. Anyhoo – there’s the offer.
This guy. I’m betting on this guy.
UPDATE: This is Balls. I am IN! I’m guessing you don’t want to trade Toyotas (your Tercel for my Matrix), so the flowery post it is! Now, no one tell DTZM that Hoyer is starting!
King Hippo
I did pretty ok last week, so now it’s my turn to revert to the mean. Nothing ever makes sense in Week 17, some teams show up, and some don’t. Good luck figuring out who.
BILLS +3 over Jets. The script just writes itself too perfectly, does it not? Especially since I can get a backdoor push with a close FG win. But I fully expect a full and complete Jetsing, given how this season has gone. Bet $22 to win $20.
Bucs +10.5 over PANTHERS. Tampa has a reasonably effective front seven, and Carolina showed more vulnerability than can be explained away by “pressure of maintaining the perfect season.” I think the Panthers will pull out the win, but it will be uncomfortably close. Bet $22 to win $20.
Chargers +9 over BRONCOS. Too many points? TOO MANY POINTS. Denver is extremely challenged offensively, and King Laserface absolutely lives to screw with the Broncos. An outright upset can’t be ruled out. Bet $11 to win $10.
49ERS +3.5 over Rams. Pre-LA should never be a road favourite over ANYBODY. Classic overreaction to their win in Seattle, which everyone should know by now is pure one-off juju Fisher’s moustache has over the Pacific Northwest. Bet $11 to win $10.
Name Balls of Steel Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | San Diego |
Detroit | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 210.00 |
| 2 | Minnesota | San Francisco | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 199.00 |
| 3 | Tennessee | Cleveland | 1 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 188.00 |
| 4 | Philadelphia | Dallas | 5.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 198.00 |
| 5 | NY Jets | Philly | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 208.00 |
| 6 | Indianapolis | Tennessee | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 218.00 |
| 7 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 207.00 |
| 8 | Buffalo | Tennessee | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 217.00 |
| 9 | Kansas City | Chicago | 9 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 227.00 |
| 10 | Green Bay | St. Louis | 9 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 216.00 |
| 11 | St. Louis | Cleveland | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 205.00 |
| 12 | Arizona | Baltimore | 7.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 194.00 |
| 13 | New England | Miami | 8 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 183.00 |
| 14 | Kansas City | Detroit | 5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 172.00 |
| 15 | Minnesota | Chicago | 1.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 182.00 |
| 16 | Pittsburgh | Oakland | 4 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 202.00 |
| 17 | Washington | New Orleans | PK | 11 | N | -11.00 | 191.00 |
| 18 | New England | NY Giants | 7 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 201.00 |
| 19 | Miami | Dallas | PK | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 211.00 |
| 20 | Seattle | San Francisco | 12.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 200.00 |
| 21 | New England | Buffalo | 7 | 11 | PUSH | 0 | 200.00 |
| 22 | New England | Denver | 3 | 55 | N | -55.00 | 145.00 |
| 23 | NY Jets | NY Giants | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 134.00 |
| 24 | Miami | Baltimore | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 144.00 |
| 25 | Buffalo | Houston | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 133.00 |
| 26 | Carolina | Atlanta | 7.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 100.00 |
| 27 | St. Louis | Tampa Bay | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 89.00 |
| 28 | Jacksonville | Atlanta | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 78.00 |
| 29 | New England | NY Jets | 3 | 78 | -78.00 | 0.00 |
Name WhyEaglesWhy Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | Denver | Baltimore | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 189.00 |
| 2 | Houston | Kansas City | 1 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 199.00 |
| 3 | Carolina | Houston | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 188.00 |
| 4 | NY Giants | Atlanta | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 198.00 |
| 5 | Philadelphia | Dallas | 5.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 208.00 |
| 6 | Cleveland | Oakland | 3.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 218.00 |
| 7 | Miami | Buffalo | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 228.00 |
| 8 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 217.00 |
| 9 | Philadelphia | New Orleans | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 206.00 |
| 10 | Arizona | Detroit | 2.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 226.00 |
| 11 | Houston | Indianapolis | 1 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 236.00 |
| 12 | New England | Indianapolis | 7.5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 214.00 |
| 13 | Philadelphia | NY Giants | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 203.00 |
| 14 | St. Louis | Cleveland | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 192.00 |
| 15 | Miami | Houston | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 202.00 |
| 16 | Washington | Tampa Bay | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 191.00 |
| 17 | Kansas City | Detroit | 5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 180.00 |
| 18 | Minnesota | Chicago | 1.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 169.00 |
| 19 | New Orleans | NY Giants | 3 | 11 | Push | 0 | 169.00 |
| 20 | Pittsburgh | Cincinnati | PK | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 179.00 |
| 21 | Baltimore | San Diego | 3.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 189.00 |
| 22 | Atlanta | San Francisco | 7 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 178.00 |
| 23 | New York Giants | Tampa Bay | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 188.00 |
| 24 | San Diego | Chicago | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 198.00 |
| 25 | Oakland | Minnesota | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 208.00 |
| 26 | Seattle | Arizona | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 218.00 |
| 27 | Miami | Dallas | PK | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 238.00 |
| 28 | Washington | Dallas | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 227.00 |
| 29 | Denver | San Diego | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 237.00 |
| 30 | Seattle | Minnesota | PK | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 247.00 |
| 31 | Tennessee | Jacksonville | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 257.00 |
| 32 | New England | Philadelphia | 9.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 267.00 |
| 33 | Cincinnati | Pittsburgh | 2.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 277.00 |
| 34 | St. Louis | Detroit | PK | 11 | N | -11.00 | 266.00 |
| 35 | New England | Houston | 3 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 296.00 |
| 36 | Carolina | NY Giants | 4.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 306.00 |
| 37 | Arizona | Philadelphia | 4.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 326.00 |
| 38 | Jacksonville | Atlanta | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 315.00 |
| 39 | Denver | Cincinnati | 3.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 304.00 |
| 40 | Pittsburgh | Baltimore | 10 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 293.00 |
| 41 | New England | NY Jets | 3 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 271.00 |
| 42 | Philadelphia | Washington | 3 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 281.00 |
| 43 | NY Jets | Buffalo | 3 | 33 | -33.00 | 248.00 | |
| 44 | Pittsburgh | Cleveland | 10.5 | 22 | -22.00 | 226.00 | |
| 45 | Kansas City | Oakland | 6.5 | 11 | -11.00 | 215.00 | |
| 46 | Green Bay | Minnesota | 3 | 11 | -11.00 | 204.00 |
Name King Hippo Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | Green Bay | Chicago | 7 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 178.00 |
| 2 | Cincinnati | Oakland | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 167.00 |
| 3 | New England | Buffalo | 1 | 55 | Y | 50.00 | 217.00 |
| 4 | New England | Jacksonville | 13.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 206.00 |
| 5 | Seattle | Chicago | 14.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 195.00 |
| 6 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 55 | N | -55.00 | 140.00 |
| 7 | Atlanta | Washington | 7 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 160.00 |
| 8 | Tampa Bay | Jacksonville | 3 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 138.00 |
| 9 | Denver | Oakland | 4.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 105.00 |
| 10 | New England | Indianapolis | 7.5 | 44 | N | -44.00 | 61.00 |
| 11 | Atlanta | New Orleans | 3.5 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 91.00 |
| 12 | Seattle | Carolina | 7 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 111.00 |
| 13 | Carolina | Philadelphia | 3 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 141.00 |
| 14 | Houston | Tennessee | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 130.00 |
| 15 | Seattle | Dallas | 6 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 140.00 |
| 16 | Atlanta | Tampa Bay | 7 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 150.00 |
| 17 | Kansas City | Detroit | 5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 128.00 |
| 18 | Pittsburgh | Oakland | 4 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 138.00 |
| 19 | Cincinnati | Cleveland | 11.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 127.00 |
| 20 | Philadelphia | Dallas | 2.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 116.00 |
| 21 | Baltimore | Jacksonville | 5.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 136.00 |
| 22 | Green Bay | Detroit | 11.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 103.00 |
| 23 | Jacksonville | Tennessee | 3 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 133.00 |
| 24 | Atlanta | Indianapolis | 5.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 153.00 |
| 25 | New England | Buffalo | 7 | 33 | PUSH | 0.00 | 153.00 |
| 26 | Dallas | Carolina | 1.5 | 153 | Y | 139.00 | 292.00 |
| 27 | Seattle | Minnesota | PK | 55 | N | -55.00 | 237.00 |
| 28 | New England | Philadelphia | 9.5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 215.00 |
| 29 | New York Jets | NY Giants | 2.5 | 22 | N | -22.00 | 193.00 |
| 30 | Pittsburgh | Indianapolis | 7 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 182.00 |
| 31 | Arizona | Minnesota | 8.5 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 212.00 |
| 32 | Chicago | Washington | 3 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 232.00 |
| 33 | Indianapolis | Jacksonville | PK | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 252.00 |
| 34 | NY Giants | Miami | 1 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 262.00 |
| 35 | St. Louis | Tampa Bay | 2.5 | 33 | N | -33.00 | 229.00 |
| 36 | Cincinnati | San Francisco | 4.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 249.00 |
| 37 | Denver | Cincinnati | 3.5 | 55 | Y | 50.00 | 299.00 |
| 38 | Seattle | St. Louis | 13.5 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 319.00 |
| 39 | Philadelphia | Washington | 3 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 339.00 |
| 40 | Detroit | San Francisco | 9.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 328.00 |
| 41 | NY Jets | Buffalo | 3 | 22 | -22.00 | 306.00 | |
| 42 | Carolina | Tampa Bay | 10.5 | 22 | -22.00 | 284.00 | |
| 43 | Denver | San Diego | 9 | 11 | -11.00 | 273.00 | |
| 44 | St. Louis | San Francisco | 3.5 | 11 | -11.00 | 262.00 |
Name Darkest Timeline Zack Morris Initial Bankroll: 200
| Pick # | Favorite | Underdog | Line | Wager | Winner? | Winnings | Bankroll Balance |
| 1 | Seattle | St. Louis | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 189.00 |
| 2 | Denver | Baltimore | 4.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 178.00 |
| 3 | Baltimore | Oakland | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 167.00 |
| 4 | New Orleans | Tampa | 5.5 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 156.00 |
| 5 | Indianapolis | Jacksonville | 9 | 22 | Y | 20.00 | 176.00 |
| 6 | Oakland | Chicago | 3 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 165.00 |
| 7 | Cincinnati | Kansas City | 5.5 | 55 | N | -55 | 110.00 |
| 8 | Buffalo | NY Giants | 4.5 | 22 | Y | 20 | 130.00 |
| 9 | Kansas City | Chicago | 9 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 119.00 |
| 10 | Cincinnati | Seattle | 3 | 11 | PUSH | 0 | 119.00 |
| 11 | Seattle | Carolina | 7 | 11 | Y | 10 | 129.00 |
| 12 | Arizona | Pittsburgh | 3 | 11 | Y | 10 | 139.00 |
| 13 | Atlanta | San Francisco | 7 | 11 | N | -11.00 | 128.00 |
| 14 | Cincinnati | Cleveland | 11.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 138.00 |
| 15 | New Orleans | Washington | PK | 55 | N | -55.00 | 83.00 |
| 16 | Carolina | Tennessee | 5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 93.00 |
| 17 | Philadelphia | Tampa | 5.5 | 11 | Y | 10.00 | 103.00 |
| 18 | Chicago | Denver | 1 | 44 | Y | 40.00 | 143.00 |
| 19 | Atlanta | Jacksonville | 3 | 44 | N | -44.00 | 99.00 |
| 20 | Arizona | Philadelphia | 3.5 | 33 | Y | 30.00 | 129.00 |
| 21 | Houston | Jacksonville | 6 | 129 | -129.00 | 0 |
Tell me more about this back door push? Asking for a friend.
–Aaron Rodgers.
WEW, I don’t think KC needs this game that much. They can only improve their seeding if San Diego beats Denver, which of course is possible… but not terribly likely.
Not at all likely.
You never know when Laserface will have one of his HOF games. Besides, they play at the same time, so the Chiefs have to play like they have a chance. Plus, Raiders.
Kellen Moore is laying four points. That is hilarious and I don’t care who is playing for my Pigdicks.
If that Steelers spread hasn’t shot up to 14 by kickoff from all the people being against the Browns, it’s a surefire trap. The Steelers are notorious for failing to cover spreads like this one.
So sad and so true.
R.I.P. Doug Atkins.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XALQxRQAgw
I wonder if even half of the hits in that highlight reel would go unflagged today. He has a wide open blindside sack on one play and instead drops down to plow into the back of the qb’s knees.
Every hit would be flagged if it were on Tom Brady.
This is HOYER COUNTRY SON
I’m amazed you let your dog play football, with how dangerous it is.
SO MUCH FUN!!!
I’m already prepping the flowery post. Let’s just say Kenny Rogers makes an appearance…
http://45.media.tumblr.com/14c1a35b6523dc15273eb1c4b7c5cf8c/tumblr_n7mdr99Gnc1rue6r8o1_500.gif