In Which We Address Mad Men…

Look, I’m going to throw out a few disclaimers: 1. I hate hippies 2. I hate baby boomers 3. I hate baby boomers disguised at hippies.

Now that we’ve found love, what are we gonna do. With it? Well, let me tell you. This motherfuckin’ show Mad Men, in case you are not privy, had itself a series finale a mere three days ago and it has started a firestorm of op-eds (of which, fuck you op-eds) from the internets finest talking heads. “The ambiguity of the Mad Men’s final shot of Don Draper really lends itself to the disparity that was about to happen in the seventies and the death of the free love movement which, by then, had become co-opted by the ad execs on Fifth Avenue. Matt Wiener is a genius,” is something that you might come across. This is true. This is also bullshit.

http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.2227713!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_635/mad-men-series-finale.jpg

Look at these metronome-ing motherfuckers right here.

Matt Wiener is a genius. This is because he got me to watch this show sometime before the series finale and so I, as an internet user/commenter and person-of-the-world, feel I am perfectly qualified to give my quantitative assessment on this matter.

Fuck this finale. It was nothing more than a Baby Boomer’s fever dream of not having to apologize or even take ownership of the mistake(s) made that affected other people’s lives. This is a redemption story as told through the lens of Advertising and Capitalism. In other words, Don Draper fucked up and all he had to do was “Buy A Coke” to make things right. Consumerism at it’s finest.

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“Ah don’t whant yer liafe!” post-op Sally ‘Salvatore’ Draper.

This ending is the Rorschach test equivalent of jerking off into a tube sock while watching scrambled Skinemax. No one feels satisfied and we all fell for it. Except for your Mom, who still has to sort the dirty laundry… You sick bastards.