Quickie: A Special Message to Packers Shareholders

Old School Zero

Old School Zero

Ex-Chargers fan in Portland. Sorry about your carpet.
Old School Zero

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[Ed. Note–New School Zero sent me an email from the not too distant future–only a few days, in fact, but he said it was important. So, here you go!]

Dear Packers Shareholders,

I would like to announce to you today that I am a happily married man. I didn’t plan on this happening, but our society has changed, and I must change with it. You see, my long time roommate Bruce always said that if gay marriage became the law of the land, we’d get married right away. Well, as you all know, gay marriage was ruled by the Supreme Court last Friday to be just that. I woke up that morning to a wonderful breakfast in bed prepared by Bruce–Eggs Benedict, toast points, some fresh melon, and a peach Bellini–along with this news. What could I do but say yes? I mean, it’s the law! I have to!

At first I was a little hesitant about it, but it turns out that everyone was really happy for me and so relieved–they all kept saying that they’d been waiting for me to do this for so long, that they always knew. They always knew it would be the law? That’s news to me! It was a really fun wedding, too, and we all had a good time. Even my Uncle Frank, who sends out those email newsletters all the time, didn’t really make a fuss. He just sort of looked confused. Later I found him in the kitchen enjoying some time with Juan from catering, and I guess he’s widening his stance on immigration as well! The times, they are a’ changing!

I just wanted you all to hear it from me first. I’m now as committed to my marriage as I am to taking the Packers to another Lombardi Trophy, and I look forward to enjoying both of these things in the next year. Go Pack!

Still your totally not gay quarterback,

Aaron Rodgers

[Ed. Note–Seriously, the supreme court decision was awesome to wake up to this morning, even without toast points and a Bellini. Also, this:

Rainbow flag hugs to you all.]

Old School Zero
Old School Zero
Ex-Chargers fan in Portland. Sorry about your carpet.
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SepMikeWallaceAndGromitCuntlerlaserguruKing Hippo Recent comment authors
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Cuntler

Jokes on you. Packers shareholders can’t read.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

I don’t no what all this meens but I can see packers and joaks. YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

laserguru

I truly wish Aaron Rodgers the very best with his new marriage. I hope they live a long life together and all of their wishes come true. OFF THE FIELD.
Because, seriously, Fuck The Packers!

If my Dad was still alive I would probably have another wedding to attend.

MikeWallaceAndGromit

Congratulations to all the humans that now have rights similar to the rest of the humans! We’re getting there!

Also, I was going to post a picture of me and my framed piece of $250, yet worthless, paper, but turns out it has nothing to do with this post.

King Hippo

In all seriousness, though, it amazes me how lightning fast 60-70% of the country got on board with this (pretty much all the non-goobers, even a good portion of Republicans). It was still “third rail” politics as recently as 2004, that Karl Rove was still considered an “evil genius” for using state referenda to get enough bigots to the polls to keep harmless goofball John Kerry out of the White House.

Now, just 11 years later, the bigots are bitching THEY are being discriminated against because they are made to feel uncomfortable spouting their bigotry in the public sphere, let alone using it as a cudgel to wield (and ensure perpetual) political power.

I know “justice delayed is justice denied” but I don’t think even the most cockeyed (hee hee, phrasing) optimist expected it to be on speed dial like that.

Covalent Blonde

Woke up to NPR, nothing. Listening right before the chopper took off, we cool with gay marriage!

So much flag semiphore! The last minute shenanigans before the big SF Pride Parade must be ludicrous right now!

King Hippo

It’s been a week chock-full of mouths agape in rural Mississippi, fo sho.

THANKS, OBAMA!!!!1111

New National Anthem?