Welcome back to the NFL’s INJURY-RAMA! Spin the wheel and take your chances! Will it be an anchor of the offensive line like Phil Loadholt? Maybe it’s a volume wide receiver like Jordy Nelson! With just a little extra bad luck maybe someone will nail your starting QB! Although I kinda think it was just a matter of time with RG3-he’s got to get the hell out of DC and just hand the job over to one of his cousins. They say that exhibition games are meaningless but where else are you going to practice being drunk for the regular season, Wheel of Fortune? Not if you’ve got any self-respect you aren’t. Here we go…
Cincy at Tampa Bay: I’m sure there’s some obscure corner of the internet that has some insightful nuggets about the Bucs but I couldn’t find it in twenty minutes and the rice was ready for supper. So, Jameis Winston needs to improve. There is no rb evenly remotely close to supplanting Doug Martin who I feel is a serviceable back but I guess when you have a small amount of something you tend to think it’s nothing. Is that how that saying goes? [shrugs shoulders] The one, the only Seth Lobato will spell The Giraffe at some point. Many starting qb’s have been replaced by the next new thing but for Mike Glennon it’s a much longer way down than most.
Looks as though Gingerback will get about 25 snaps or so and then we get to see AJ McCarron. Do you mamember that guy from Alabama that finished 2nd in Heisman voting in 2013 to…Jameis Winston! Oh, the ties that tenuously bind us in the sports world. (that sports writers get such a big kick out of) A big shout out to Jeremy Hill who took forever to pass that short guy as the #1 back for the Bengals and then led me to two fantasy…oh never mind. Expect to hear absolutely nothing about Michael Bennett, a undrafted white kid trying his very darnedest to make the team at wr/te. He’s number 80 in the program and number 1 in Cincy sports writer’s groins.
Moonbatting is here!!! All teh Donks are assembling…
Love you madly, Hippo
(from what I understand about Denver fans) Hey guys, get a very large, like enormous, room.
I know a lot of these are just redheads. I have to be SFW now. It is taking work to find those.
Gingerception #2
http://41.media.tumblr.com/4e87982638ffea9d6b02e7c371f94ff8/tumblr_nsjzli6o731uycf5uo1_500.jpg
http://media.giphy.com/media/KFpOLfEBUXYLC/giphy-facebook_s.jpg
ANDY! ANDY! ANDY!
Ginger sighting 5
http://40.media.tumblr.com/aa0a6cf4e9addef63b563b88bf64da45/tumblr_nsjzditeDl1uycf5uo1_500.jpg
Even when Dalton does good, it still ends up bad.
You can’t fight fate!
Ginger sighting 4
http://40.media.tumblr.com/7b27cbb5198fd3839bb9023fcdd64783/tumblr_nspkdmHieq1uycf5uo1_500.jpg
Gingerception
MY FAVOURITE
/sorry for the caps, am drinkin
When did you become a subject of the Queen, with your fancy “OU”s?
[fails to see what this has to do with NC State]
It has to do with Everton, the NC State of the EPL. To be a good guest, I tried to follow their conventions when posting on NSNO.co.uk. Some things just really felt right, and I continued to keep with me in my regular, ugly American life, Mostly, the abbreviation FFS, the extra “u,” and stating the date like 24 August.
Plus, the extra chance to look like a dickhole is just too awesome to pass up.
Got it. Me like.
I will say she is my favourite of the night too. I give you the u because I agree so much
welp
Damn it! (looks for dancing shoes)
Ah. That knee isn’t supposed to bend that way.
Sill and/or Balls: please boot me from the DFO 20-team league. I just found out that I have to move on the 31st, and I don’t want to clog up the works with an auto-draft (even though there’s a good chance an auto-draft would do better than me). Sorry for the inconvenience ?
I’m thinking of going league-wide autodraft because the scoring is so ridiculous.
Sweet! We can just look on in horror!
NOOO! I was looking forward to reading, then caring about the rules and sitting through a 20 team draft. Somehow make what I just said not sound sarcastic. Autodraft will make it a pain to care at all. It is already gonna be mostly luck, the draft would be fun to see who actually predicts players
If you’re going full auto, I’m still in. Let me know
If it’s only 20 teams I would like to get in.
/thought it was going to be 32
//20 is where I draw the line
20 was all Yahoo would let me do.
I wanted it to be 32.
You’re mad.
But I like it.
Yikes. Good luck with the move!
Draft was also moved to Tuesday, Sept. 8th at 9:00 ET.
So no worries either way.
New Theory: Bengals are solar powered. That’s why they struggle in primetime games. Post season games are because its winter and the sun is over the Southern Hemisphere.
Tigers ARE solar-powered:
http://chutzpah.typepad.com/.a/6a00e55180ed5c88340120a546807a970c-pi
Good to see Cincy in mid-season form.
Post-season form.
My liver too.
Don’t you think that they should play preseason games backwards?
Scrubs at the beginning, starters at the end?
Would it really matter in this game?
I think they should play them backwards. Running in reverse, passes going the opposite direction… Aaron Brooks would be an All-Pro!
Got distracted for a minute so I mostly missed Ginger sighting 3
http://bouncebreak.com/gif/bounce/oZuV8.gif
Goddammit motherfucker fuckity fuck fuck.
When you fry ham in bacon fat it tastes like bacon.
Save the bacon fat for taters. You just committed what a Big Bang Theory episode would call “The Pork on Pork Redundancy”.
“Three weeks from now it’s real.”
So you’re telling me I’m watching hologram football?
The TB Punter didn’t punted in High School or College?
Heir to the Gay Beer fortune ,, no ofence
AJ Hawk. We will keep highlighting him even though he is terrible. Did you forget about him since time we highlighted him 2 drives ago… oh, you did. Well fuck you AJ Hawk is gonna be good this year finally.
How could a team commit three penalties on one play?
Your a fan of the Bungles, so, I figured by this point you’d never underestimate their HERPtitude.
“A team with three fall guys? Where do I sign?”
-C. Carter
“KWONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN”
-Shatner, mis-pronouncing his line
Even for preseason, this is a bit unexpected.
So…now that the Aqua Teens are done for reals…Carl will still make his stone cold locks uh da century uh da week? Right????
Oh, god. I hope so!
He ain’t goin’ nowhere.
http://media3.giphy.com/media/P0Xu25x1sfifK/giphy.gif
Andy Dalton: just enough competence to piss you off.
Slightly too competent to be replaced.
See also Flacco, Joe.
Ginger sighting number 2
http://36.media.tumblr.com/f4224c5d5d3ea85bdf5b3ee02fede565/tumblr_nsjzr0rEWk1uycf5uo1_500.jpg
(yeah, I am early, going for a cig, be back after the 3 and out)
“Winston is a very aggressive thinker.”
SARTRE’S “NO EXIT” IS THE GREATEST EXISTENTIALIST PLAY. “WAITING FOR GODOT” SUCKS DICK!”
Scooby-Doo can doo doo…
He’s definitely aggressive; doesn’t take “no” as an answer.
NO MEANS HARF!
2nd and 30? NFL BLITZ
I think this is officially DFO’s first NFL BLITZ joke!
THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!
/hits switch-tackle thirty times after the play to pile on and make the announcers bleep-swear
I could’ve sworn that I heard “diastebacle” from NFL Blitz 2000.
Well, maybe I’m crazy…
http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loxaasOe4X1qm806vo1_500.gif
It’s like he was the No. 1 draft pick or something? Weird.
Its just a preseason game.
Its just a preseason game.
Its just a preseason game.
I am trying not to worry re PeyPey too.
I really do not see the appeal of televised little league
http://ww2.hdnux.com/photos/30/16/77/6352853/9/628×471.jpg
Really, I kinda like it
There is a demographic.
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/itsalwayssunny/images/b/b2/Dennis_Looks_Like_a_Registered_Sex_Offender.png/revision/latest?cb=20100222013750
Ginger sighting
http://41.media.tumblr.com/a6e22048af147f01fff402d453fb44b4/tumblr_nspjzxOOvO1uycf5uo1_500.jpg
jaMEis winston had to ekep ti and scor himself leik the gloree boy he is smdh gobdless
Ohnoez, baby! Student emails will do that to me, too!
http://www.christies.com/lotfinderimages/d55329/a_set_of_twenty-four_silver_goblets_and_a_set_of_six_similar_goblets_2_d5532921h.jpg
PYLON CAM!
I see AJ Hawk remains useless as ever.
BREAK UP THE BUCS
They must think they’re the goddamned Dirt Stillers and also NAWT allowed to ever goddamned lose ever again.
Goddamnit.
I meant the football Buccaneers in an ironic sense.
I know. el beisbol pstd
hey guys
Sup, G?
Bucs 2-0 WHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT
“I love Buffalo Wield Wrings! It’s my Flav-O-Rite Sparks Bar!”
— Emmitt Smith
Are sports bars across suburbia so awful that Buffalo Wild Wings appears to be a really good sports bar?
Actually… yes. In suburbia, finding a bar with Red Zone, Center Ice, and shows the Dodgers in SoCal is more challenging than you may think. Also, it is because the other two bars available are Applebee’s and Red Robin.
Guh.
Unless you know where to look for one, yes for everywhere in Wisconsin. And I live in Appleton that has 10 straight blocks of bars on both sides of the street as our main street. Sorry, it also has the hotel that houses whatever team plays the Packers that week, the rest are bars.
Christ. I pity all of you.
Poor Dalton. No DNA test required to figure out who was responsible for leaving pubes on the soap.
After I saw that interview. I do not miss Lovie as our coach. I also still don’t miss Trestman, Jauron or Wannstedt.
Glad to see ESPN pregrame is fine season form!
First C’MON MAN! of the season. By my count there’s only 48 more of these to go.
They laughed off the idea of Schefter getting fired. I was at half mast imagining it really happening.
At least Marvin is wearing tight duo dry over his gut, so I was able to finish.
48 left in this game?
The local Cincinnati sports media is doing their best to create a QB Controversy. The latest reason is “Dalton is so timid. McCarron walked around like he’s the baddest M.F.er who ever walked the Practice Field.”
Ladies and Gentleman, my 2015 Cincinnati Bengals!
(cracks opens can of beer)
Oh yeah, I forgot we were within somewhat close proximity!
Has a team that’s averaged 10-wins a season over four years ever felt so bad?
This needs a CBQUE “What say yeewwww” SEC Komment
http://i.cdn.turner.com/asfix/repository//8a25c39215b8f3910115ba5794c40045/thumbnail_7984817452938750843.jpg
School’s back in session, which means ol’ WCS is back to work. Guess who’s going to get wasted and respond to students’ stupid questions?
TONIGHT!
Refresh me, what do you teach?
Hard Knocks 101
Of course, silly me. Carry on
I’m so fucking excited, I haven’t been able to have a beer during a Bengals game in OVER A YEAR
So… first game in a year for you?
O VONTZAE GON DRANK O YEZZZ SHE DO BULLEEEEE DAT
CHUH CHUH
I was gonna ask if that was your Lamaze photo. Thanks for stealing my only Komment idea.
And Cincy groins are pretty impressive! Especially in relationship to sports writers.
I have a problem with you using my photo for this header dude. Totally not cool
But that tiger looks so good with your legs!
You look sexy, who is your friend in the dress laying on you?
STOP SENDING ME YOUR SEXY PICS THEN!
Uhh, you’re not the sex bag?
I’ve been called that in the past but no, I’m not the sex bag.